I Want To Get Closer To Him Without Going Too Far!
February 19, 2009
“I really like this boy but I don’t no how to get closer to him without going too far and we’ve been going out for three months. What should I do?”
~ Alexandria, 14
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Dear Alexandria,
This is a great question! You may be confusing closeness with intimacy. Physical closeness does always transfer into emotional closeness. I think you want to get closer to him emotionally and are seeing going further physically is the only way to achieve that. But that is not what will happen. If you are not ready to go further….which by how you are talking I get the idea that you are not ready to go “too far” with him…you should definitely find other ways besides physical to get closer to your boyfriend.
You can get closer many other ways such as by talking more and sharing deeper stories. Talk about childhood stories and future goals. Talk about what you think love is and your views on life. Spend more time together and hang out one on one. Share your feelings for him. All of these things will bring you guys closer without having to go further physically.
A lot of times at your age, (and even at my age, 25!) guys will try to pressure you into thinking that sex is the next step of your relationship and they almost expect a girl to be ready after a few short months. If this is the case, and he is pressuring you and making you feel that that is the only way to get closer to him, then that is not cool and you should definitely not do it. Think about it this way…no girl ever pressures a guy into having sex to get “closer” to her. Girls just don’t view closeness this way…like I mentioned earlier, we see closeness as being emotionally connected with someone…not physically!
If you feel that you are being pressured into going too far with him….trust your instincts and don’t do it. Because if you do end up going further than you are comfortable with, you will only end up feeling further away from him…NOT closer!
xoxo
Katie
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One Comment, Comment or Ping
maddy
oh i completely understand ur problem i feel the same only i have no boyfriend try talking to him ( i know it sounds scary ) if u cant do that ur not redy 2 get close .tell him ur concerns
Feb 28th, 2009
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