How Do I Deal With Mean Girls On The Bus?
April 3, 2009
Hi Katie,
Is it normal to have rude girls make fun of lets say not really smart girls? Because on my bus, me and my best friend get picked on by these 6th and 7th graders just because my friend is crazy in the head.
And sometimes they shout out the most random stuff that isn’t true about my friend like: “Anna is a fag”. I have tried to tell them to stop but they don’t care. And I have talked to counselors and teachers about it but still.
Can you help!? Thanks!
~ Tina, 14
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Dear Tina,
It is VERY normal for girls like that to be rude and obnoxious. Especially on the bus! Sometimes people feel better about themselves when they put other people down and think they are being cool and intimidating.
But really they are not being cool and the only reason they are picking on you and your friend is because they think they are better than you and are older than you. Do you really think they would be saying those things if they were riding a bus with high schoolers? Of course not, they would probably get beat up!
It’s good that you have already told the counselors and teachers…that way they are aware of the problem. But there is not much they can really do, it’s not like they can ride on the bus with you and your friend every day to protect you. They probably just told you to ignore their comments, and I know its hard to ignore someone when they are being rude.
What I have found to be the best way to get someone to stop doing something is to act like it doesn’t bother you. So when they say “Anna is a fag” say, “It takes one to know one!” These girls probably don’t expect you to have a come back and think that you and your friend are just easy targets that wont fight back. So show them that you can stand up for yourself (and I don’t mean physically). Just by making them look stupid or silly for saying those things to you and your friend they may start to loose their confidence and stop picking on you.
If that doesn’t work, sometimes if you sincerely tell them (without anger) “hey, you are really hurting my feelings and making me feel bad” this can make them stop. You are not asking them to stop, you are just showing them how hurtful they are being. This is the last thing they are expecting you to say and since it is a very mature approach they will be caught off guard and might actually listen. I have seen this approach work in a couple similar bully situations, but to be honest it doesn’t always work. But since you guys have tried everything else, it might be worth a shot.
Also, I was thinking that since they are in a different grade than you and the only time you have to see them is on the bus, another option for you is that you may want to explore different ways to get to and from school. Maybe you or your friend’s parents can drive you, or if you have an older sister or brother that can drive. I realize you may not have any other way to get to school, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to suggest it.
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