I Love Playing Sports With Guys, But How Do I Get Them To See Me As Girly?
May 31, 2009
Dear Katie,
I grew up with all the guys and when I play sports I keep up with the guys so therefore most guys view me as one of the guys which makes it really hard for me to get the guys that I want.
The reason it makes it hard is because they pick on me like one of the guys so when they find out I like someone they think its alright to make fun of that guy and even if they might just like me my guy “friend” ends up changing his mind. This makes it really hard for me and I don’t know what to do cause I don’t think I’m an ugly person and it shouldn’t be this hard for me to get a guy. Yeah I don’t wear make up and I don’t really try to be “pretty” but when I do try it makes it seem easier to get guys to look at me and notice me more so now that you kinda get where I comming from here is what I’m really wondering…
Why is it so hard for me? What can I do to get guys to notice me cause there is this one guy that I’m really falling for but when I tried talking to him to get to know him people ruined it for me and I ended up tell him to forget I ever liked him or ever tried talking to him and idk what to do now cause I really wanna try again but I don’t know how to talk to him cause now when I try to text him or I smile at him in the hall or something he never returns that favor. So what should I do should I just give up and let someone come to me, lower my standards, go out of my school, or wait till college to get a guy. Which isn’t a good thing seeing as how I’m almost 16 and haven’t ever been in a relationship or had my first kiss please help me out!! thank you.
Jen, 15
Dear Jen,
I think that the core issue here is how guys are perceiving you. As you said, they see you as one of the guys. They treat you as if you are one of their guy friends, which is a compliment in a way because they think it is awesome that you can keep up with them in sports.
However, what they haven’t really seen is your girly side. They don’t see you as a girl that any of them would date. So when one of their friends likes you they tease their friends. And guys at your age care WAY too much about what their friends think. Exspecially in high school. A guy’s friends opinions are the strongest influence on who he does and doesn’t date. It’s not worth it for a guy to date a girl if he is going to be constantly heckled for it by his friends.
So here is what you do. Start bringing out the girly side of yourself. Wear a little makeup and dress more girly. This doesn’t mean you have to change yourself completely to get a guy to like you…but you want to show them that you are a GIRL and not one of the guys. When they finally start to see you as a girl, they will probably think that you are even more amazing, because not only are you hot but you are also good at sports which is really RARE!
Most pretty and girly girls are not as athletic as you…so you will stand out from the other girls because of your physical abilities as well as your attractive looks. So don’t be afraid to wear a little makeup and put on a dress once in a while. You may find that you actually feel good about yourself and becoming a beautiful woman…and that you can still kick ass at sports too!
And be patient with the guy that you like. He is under tremendous pressure from his friends teasing him about you. So give it a little time when you start bringing out your girly side it may take some time for these guys to get used to it. They may even tease you a little at first because remember they are seeing you as one of the guys. As they get more used to your new girly style, they will probably all start to like you.
Just remember to give it time! Their perceptions of you may take a while to change. And you may find after you start to feel more girly that you become interested in other guys too, not just the ones that you are friends with now.
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