I Asked A Boy Out For My Friend And It Backfired, What Do I Do?
September 27, 2009
Hi Katie,
One of my best friend sits next to this boy in our science class, and she thinks he likes her. I think it’s ridiculous for kids our age to “like each other” but that’s what my friend thinks. One of my other best friends said I should ask one of the boy’s friends if he likes my friend. So, that’s what I did.
Then, when I told my friend what I did, she said that I shouldn’t have done that because now the boy she sits next to in science probably thinks she likes him because his friend will probably tell him. My friend who told me to do that said she had only been joking, when she she had been bugging me to do it all day.
Now my friend who thinks the boy likes her is mad at me, although she won’t admit it. And the worst part is, he doesn’t even like her!!!!!! What should I do?????
Catherine, 11
Dear Catherine,
When it comes to your friends starting to like boys, it can be a very sensitive subject! It is very easy for them to get embarrassed jealous or upset if any little thing goes wrong!
Tell your friend you are sorry for interfering and that you thought that you were just helping her. Be sincere and don’t get defensive if she gets angry. Tell her that you understand why she is upset but you really didn’t mean any harm and wont say anything to any guy or his friends in the future. Realize that she is just embarrassed and didn’t want this guy to think that she likes him…especially since she has to sit next to him in class everyday! You would probably feel the same way if you were her!
There is really nothing you can do to erase the situation since the guy already knows that she likes him. All you can do is apologize to your friend and know for in the future not to ask a guy anything like that unless your friend specifically asks you too.
I can see that your intent was good, but you just need to be more careful when it comes to your friends and the guys they like. Sometimes even if you mean well, you can hurt peoples feelings. It really helps to put yourself in their shoes and see what you would want your friend to do before you do something. At your age, girls can be REALLY sensitive when it comes to boys they like!
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