I’ve Never Had A Boyfriend Or Been Kissed, Help!
September 24, 2009
Hi Katie,
I’m Emily and I’m 13 years old. I’ve never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. It seems like alot of other kids in my grade already have had one of those or both. I’m not ugly, I’m not gorgous. I’m extremely friendly, funny, and outgoing. Yet, guys don’t seem to like me. How should I talk to guys? I don’t want to go up to them and be like “Hey! Want to go out?” they’ll think I’m weird and just ignore me.
I’m new to this school and I’m going to a new school thats being built right now with this guy I think is really cute. I’d love to develop a friendship with him and maybe, once we get to know eachother, something more. Please help!
Emily, 13
Dear Emily,
You are perfectly normal! It is ok that you havn’t kissed a boy or had a boyfriend yet! I have gotten SO many questions like yours from girls your age who also haven’t kissed a boy yet. You are definitly not alone, in fact I myself had not kissed a boy yet when I was 13 either. It will happen to you in time, and probably sooner than you think. Don’t rush it. And let the guy make the first moves too!
As far as flirting with this guy at the new school that you like, here are some tips…
When talking to him or when he is looking at you, always smile and look happy. You can also play subtly with your hair…twist it around your finger or run your hands through it. This will draw attention to your hair which is a very feminine quality and guys love that! Another thing you can do is to play with your necklace or touch your lips drawing attention to these other feminine areas.
Eye contact is also a great form of flirting. When he is talking to you make sure to use good eye contact and smile and nod as you are listening. This way he knows you are fully engaged and into what he is saying. Ask him questions about himself! Guys love to talk about themselves. If you ask questions about him it shows him that you are interested.
Now when it comes to being more openly flirty, wait until you two are having a private conversation, or walking alone together somewhere. This is a better time for these types of flirtations:
Get physical! Like give his his shoulder a little squeeze, grab his arm when he makes you laugh, stuff like that gets you into his personal space and is much more of an open way of flirting.
Complement him! Tell him the things you admire about him or like about him. Such as, “I really admire what a kind person you are” or “You have a laugh”. Find something you genuinely like about him and tell him (I’m sure there a hundred things you like if you have a crush on him, lol).
However, when developing a friendship with this new guy be careful that you do not get SO chummy as friends that it would be weird to date. Make sure you keep flirting with him so that he is aware that you are attracted to him and that you are interested in being more than just friends.
5 Comments, Comment or Ping
Lai.
I think Katie is right. and you shoulnd\’t care if you don\’t kiss. You should kiss the one you like. And I now a girl that some friends force her to kiss a guy in a game… BE HAPPY! don\’t go down easyl an DON\’T give up on him, if you really like him.
xoxo
Oct 3rd, 2009
katherine
its better to kiss someone or have a boyfriend when your older and in love than some player that you will regret ever knowing. i\’m 14 and in the same situation as you, dont worry about it
xxxxxxx
Oct 13th, 2009
Maddie
I know same I\’m in 9th Grade and there are some people that are in 7th grade that dated guys or even kiss guys! I feel like I\’m not at muture as everyone else, for example: I\’m so short that some people think that I\’m in 6th or 7th grade, and worst of all… everyone that I know, in my grade or even younger, are talking about their peirodes and I still havn\’t had mine yet, I\’m always left out of conversations and I don\’t know what their talking about. Plus to top it off I have a huge chrush on this guy, he\’s sweet and nice,and in to theater like me!!! But I barly see him cause he goes to a different school and a different theater group. Luckly I have his MSN but he\’s never on. I realy like to see him soon cause I\’m starting to go back crushing on this other guy (that I don\’t know why I liked him in the first place) and I miss him sooooooooooooooooooo much!!
Emily your lucky to be at least in the same school as your crush!
Good luck!
Oct 18th, 2009
mand
its normal! dont worry im 16 and i never had a boyfriend or never been kissed you will get one sooner or later! once you get out into the real world you will have many many chances to meet young very attractive men especially if you travel the world! you will get your chance and someday i will! we just have to be patient! those who wait get the best!
Dec 19th, 2009
Carroll
trust me! i know the feeling!
but like the others said, sometimes, you just have to be patient and wait for the right guy to stumble along. i’m 13 and i’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone be kissed by a guy. all the guys call me ugly, but my friends say i’m pretty. i personally think they’re lying to me, to make me fell better about myself. it’s one thing to be a good friend and another thing to lie to your friend. but hey, let’s cross our fingers and wish for good luck in finding the right guy!! i hope you find your prince charming and maybe someday i’ll find mine! GOOD LUCK! (:
Mar 24th, 2011
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