Am I Being Ungrateful?
February 2, 2009
Please help!
I’ve been seeing this guy for around 7 weeks, it feels like months, he’s emotionally wearing me out, I’m having to think for him all the time, he seems to be totally clueless how to treat a girlfriend, I have to tell him what to do, say, wear. He seems to enjoy me doing all the chasing after him, giving him directions, etc. Even when kissing he doesn’t really know what to do, he just goes through the motions, I’ve tried talking to him regards his behavior or lack of it, it just seems to go over his head.
My friends keep telling me to give him time, also I’ve caught him out a few times at lying, he’s told me he does not smoke, yet I can smell it, and taste it when we kiss, which now I try not to do, cause I don’t like smokers, smell stale, yuk! At the weekend he arrived at my home and said he thought I deserved a treat, and promptly handed me a bunch of artificial roses! He asked if I liked them and I said yes, but they would of been better if they had been real. He replied they will last longer, am I wasting my time with this guy.
Am I ungrateful for wanting real flowers, as I feel it’s much too early for someone to give me artificial flowers? ~ Teresa
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Dear Teresa,
This guy is draining you emotionally. When I read your question one thought came to mind…what do you see in this guy? It sounds like he is not the kind of guy you are looking for. This guy is not going to change, you try to help instruct him and give him tips on how to treat a girlfriend, which is great, but only if he is asking for the advice. If he is not asking for it, he probably doesn’t want to hear it nor comply to your requests. Ask yourself this….do you like the man that he is? or are you trying to make him be the man you want to like?
It’s really not about the fake flowers, if you were really into him you would have loved them fake or real. The core issue here is that you don’t really like this guy and it seems like you are settling for a guy who is not up to par…which you don’t have to do. You are the only one who knows how you truely feel, trust your instincts about this guy, and try to decipher if your gut feeling is telling you that he is not right for you.
xoxo Katie
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