My Friends Are Getting Into Alcohol and Drugs, What Should I Do?

Comments (2)
February 3, 2009

“Hi Katie,

My friends are getting into alcohol and drugs, I don’t want to head into that path, but I hate seeing them do the same. What should I do?

PS. I think what you’re doing is a great job, you’re helping out so many teens with their everyday problems, thank you.” ~Alyssa, 15

Dear Alyssa,

I for one understand how hard it is to go against the grain and not buy into doing all the things your friends are doing such as sex, drugs, and alcohol. I have had friends (and still have friends) that do lots of things that I don’t personally want to do and they try to pressure me to doing. But I realized that it was stupid for me to do anything that wasn’t fun for me. If I didn’t feel comfortable or right about doing something, why would that be fun for me to do? Just to please my friends? That’s so lame, right?! Your actions are ultimately up to you to make….they are your personal choices that only you can decide and you have to live with. And realistically your friends don’t really care if you do it or not, they just want to feel better about themselves so if you are doing it too they won’t feel as guilty for doing it themselves.

I realize that you are going to continue to hang out with your same friends, but remember that most of your friends don’t really have your best interest in mind, they are just looking out for themselves and you should look at them as just hang out friends. Your BFFs are different, they will have your best interest at heart and respect your decisions to do what you feel is best for you. Throughout high school and even college you are going to have friends that are like this that are looking out for themselves. So do what is best for you and what is fun for you… and realize that these friends are not doing it to be mean, they are just being casual friends.

And don’t get too down about your friends for doing that. You can only suggest something a couple of times…people often don’t take good advice when they are given it….and if they don’t listen that is OK. The best thing is to do your OWN thing and down the road they may come to you for advice when they are ready and see that you are happy and having fun and they will want to know how to do the same. They key to life is to stay true to yourself…whatever that is for you!

xoxo

Katie

2 Comments, Comment or Ping

Alyssa

Thank you so much! Your advice is def something i\’m going to listen to throughout everything. Also, i\’m really confused at this point on what to do, one of my friends, not my good friend, but someone that i hang out with, recently hooked up with one of the guys that i was talking to, and actually liked him a lot, and she knew that i did. How should i handle this situation, should i let her know that i\’m mad?? or not say anything at all? i want to handle this situation as mature as i can.
thank you!

Feb 11th, 2009
Katie

Hi Alyssa,

If he was your actual boyfriend I would say YES tell her that was not cool for her to hook up with him…but since this guy was NOT your boyfriend, it is really not your place to say anything to her. She may have just liked him too and wasn’t doing it purposely to hurt you, and since she is not a good friend, just let it go. It would be pointless to tell her that you are mad…it will not change what has already happened, it will only make her get defensive and probably get mad back at you and talk bad about you to your other friends.

Now if this guy you like is still trying to talk to you and date you, and you still feel uncomfortable with what he did with this girl, it would be appropriate to let him know that it bothers you that he hooked up with her but now he wants to date you too.

So in this situation, the best and most mature thing to do is to not say anything to the girl, it will only cause more drama. But, if she ASKS you if it was OK with you for her to have hooked up with him, then you should tell her you are not happy about it, but don’t loose your cool and get angry. And if the guy you like tries to pursue you still, it is OK to tell him that you are confused about what happened with that girl and let him explain.

Feb 11th, 2009