Why Is He Depressed, Is It My Fault?
February 11, 2009
Hi Katie,
I met Chris with the help of my friend, Angela, and after a while of getting over some other guy, I started to like him. I went to his house with his friends, and 2 of mine, and we had a lot of fun-we swam around in his pool, I beat his team of him and his friends up at racquetball, and he laughed at almost everything I said. His friends were nice to me, and it was probably the most favorite time of mine that I’ve hung out with him. I don’t remember much of it, sadly, but I remember playing rock band and just having an overall great time.
Another time, I partied with him at some other girls house, and I put ice down his back a bit, during an ice fight (which honestly, I bet he really hated, and it kinda showed), and swam around whenever he got in the pool-I had a pretty great time. We sat around on the outdoor couches by the pool, and we talked a bit, and then he decided to lay down on the burning hot (from the sun beating down on it), wrought iron coffee table, and covers himself with a towel. Naturally, I’m not content with talking to him through a blanket, so I ran over, grabbed a glass of lemonade, and laughing like a maniac, I went over and dumped it in the direction of his face. It was hilarious!
Last week, I went on a bike ride with my friend, Lana-the other best friend I go to school with-. We had a lot of fun, and acted like dorks. We stop by everybody that lived nearby (everybody we had the party with), and totally ruin our reputation, but we have some fun. Now, Chris lives right across from Lana, so we decide to stop by, but we have an argument on who should knock, talk, et cetera, but we end up being too giggly to make up our minds, and we head over to his house too fast. We knock, and his little sister races to the door to pick up. We giggle awkwardly, and I manage to choke out for her to get her brother, and she races off, and also much too fast, Chris comes to the door. We stutter and stammer and whatever else you aren’t supposed to do, and neither of us can say anything, and so we both start laughing super loudly and obnoxiously to kill the silence. We end up staring at each other, and I start fake-yelling at my friend to tell her we should have ditched faster. The whole experience is mortifyingly embarrassing. Throughout this, he is as depressed as ever, which makes up half of the awkwardness. Now, I’m sure he thinks for sure I am totally in love with him, and I’m not sure myself! We end up just awkwardly saying bye and running away as fast as we could, and I stick a popsicle down my friends shirt, I feel so horrified. Lana tells me that he never acts like this whenever they talk. Yikes.
You’re now up to date. Answer these questions, please; Do I like him? Maybe I do. What should I do? What would be smart? Why is he depressed, and why do I feel so bad? I don’t care if it’s not my fault; I feel bad for everyone, and I don’t care if he’s making me feel like I’m the cause of all this-it’s clearly not his intention to make me blame myself, but he doesn’t cover it up very well-if he was trying to in the first place. Tell me anything else you can, please, thanks, bye, I guess.
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Dear Gigi,
If you really liked this guy, you would not be asking if you do or not. It sounds like you just feel bad for him and don’t want to hurt his feelings. Maybe you like that he likes you and you don’t wanna reject him cause you would feel even worse.
And from his point of view he probably thinks you do not really like him because you and your friends are always playing and messing with him. I don’t think that he is depressed and if he is sad it is not you…maybe it is just that you are sending him mixed signals and he is just confused, he can’t tell if you like him or just like messing with him.
You wanna know what to do….I think you should just stay friends with him and maybe after you get more comfortable hanging out around him you might get less silly and be able to tell if you were getting butterflies around him because you liked him or cause you were just nervous about making him feel ok.
xoxo Katie
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