Hi Girl to Girl Talk!

I am friends with this guy. I kinda met him through my other friends, but he is so nice and cute and just plain old AWESOME!

The first time we actually met was when we were at my guy friend’s house helping to film a movie for a school project. I think I might have flirted a little but I’m not sure. I found a toy sword and would poke him with it and we would continuously have “sword fights” on a trampoline. It was so fun and he let me win. After that we talked more and more.

One night I was having a sleep over with my friend and I asked her if she had any idea who I liked and she said either him or another person I used to like. So my question is how do I know if he knows I like him or not?

(P.S. today we had drama club together and we had to build fences together hehe. I was so happy because he asked if I wanted to help.)

Brianna, 13

Dear Brianna,

He probably doesn’t know for CERTAIN if you like him or not. He might have some clues, like that you are nice to him and fun to hang out with. But he is still probably wondering the same thing you are. The cool thing is, is that you both have lots of mutual friends and interests to keep you connected. Use this to your advantage and stay involved in your school projects with him and keep inviting him to hang out with you and your friends.

If you wanna make it a little more obvious you like him, you should start complimenting him occasionally. Make it a genuine compliment. Like how you told me you thought he was really nice and awesome. Tell that to him! I’m sure he would be more than flattered to hear them, plus he will see more clearly that you like him.

Hello Katie,

Hey, so I need boy advice. I am a really happy, caring, funny and a kind person at least that’s what my friends tell me. And I get along with all of the girls in my grade (I go to an all-girl school) but the thing is I feel like boys don’t like me. I used to go to a co-ed school but then I just went to an all-girl one and yes it is hard to find boys but I still have guy friends.

Even though I do have guy friends, I feel like they actually don’t like me that much and I know that they don’t like me as more than a friend, and I try to seem appealing to them but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I know that I’m a good person, but I don’t think I’m pretty and I think that I’m kind of fat. What can I do to seem more appealing to guys? (this summer I am going to try and lose weight)

Hannah, 16

Dear Hannah,

It’s great that you are aware of your good qualities such as that you are funny, happy, caring, and kind. These qualities are very special and can be rare sometimes. I think the guys you are friends with right now are just not mature enough to see past your outer image. However, I do think you should continue to set goals for yourself to start eating healthier and exercising regularly. This will help your outside appearance match your inner beauty.

I can tell that you are confident in the inner qualities that you have and others will definitely see your confidence and feel good when they are around you. I have met people that are not extremely attractive on the outside but once I have gotten to know them and seen how kind and sweet they were, they actually became more attractive to me because they had such a great inner beauty. So keep embracing your inner qualities as you work on your outside appearance.

In the meantime, take a look at the beauty section, there are lots of great tips for makeup and beauty! So make sure that you are following all of the tips in order to look your best!

Hi Katie,

One of my best friend sits next to this boy in our science class, and she thinks he likes her. I think it’s ridiculous for kids our age to “like each other” but that’s what my friend thinks. One of my other best friends said I should ask one of the boy’s friends if he likes my friend. So, that’s what I did.

Then, when I told my friend what I did, she said that I shouldn’t have done that because now the boy she sits next to in science probably thinks she likes him because his friend will probably tell him. My friend who told me to do that said she had only been joking, when she she had been bugging me to do it all day.

Now my friend who thinks the boy likes her is mad at me, although she won’t admit it. And the worst part is, he doesn’t even like her!!!!!! What should I do?????

Catherine, 11

Dear Catherine,

When it comes to your friends starting to like boys, it can be a very sensitive subject! It is very easy for them to get embarrassed jealous or upset if any little thing goes wrong!

Tell your friend you are sorry for interfering and that you thought that you were just helping her. Be sincere and don’t get defensive if she gets angry. Tell her that you understand why she is upset but you really didn’t mean any harm and wont say anything to any guy or his friends in the future. Realize that she is just embarrassed and didn’t want this guy to think that she likes him…especially since she has to sit next to him in class everyday! You would probably feel the same way if you were her!

There is really nothing you can do to erase the situation since the guy already knows that she likes him. All you can do is apologize to your friend and know for in the future not to ask a guy anything like that unless your friend specifically asks you too.

I can see that your intent was good, but you just need to be more careful when it comes to your friends and the guys they like. Sometimes even if you mean well, you can hurt peoples feelings. It really helps to put yourself in their shoes and see what you would want your friend to do before you do something. At your age, girls can be REALLY sensitive when it comes to boys they like!

Hi Katie,

I’m Emily and I’m 13 years old. I’ve never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. It seems like alot of other kids in my grade already have had one of those or both. I’m not ugly, I’m not gorgous. I’m extremely friendly, funny, and outgoing. Yet, guys don’t seem to like me. How should I talk to guys? I don’t want to go up to them and be like “Hey! Want to go out?” they’ll think I’m weird and just ignore me.

I’m new to this school and I’m going to a new school thats being built right now with this guy I think is really cute. I’d love to develop a friendship with him and maybe, once we get to know eachother, something more. Please help!

Emily, 13

Dear Emily,

You are perfectly normal! It is ok that you havn’t kissed a boy or had a boyfriend yet! I have gotten SO many questions like yours from girls your age who also haven’t kissed a boy yet. You are definitly not alone, in fact I myself had not kissed a boy yet when I was 13 either. It will happen to you in time, and probably sooner than you think. Don’t rush it. And let the guy make the first moves too!
As far as flirting with this guy at the new school that you like, here are some tips…

When talking to him or when he is looking at you, always smile and look happy. You can also play subtly with your hair…twist it around your finger or run your hands through it. This will draw attention to your hair which is a very feminine quality and guys love that! Another thing you can do is to play with your necklace or touch your lips drawing attention to these other feminine areas.

Eye contact is also a great form of flirting. When he is talking to you make sure to use good eye contact and smile and nod as you are listening. This way he knows you are fully engaged and into what he is saying. Ask him questions about himself! Guys love to talk about themselves. If you ask questions about him it shows him that you are interested.

Now when it comes to being more openly flirty, wait until you two are having a private conversation, or walking alone together somewhere. This is a better time for these types of flirtations:

Get physical! Like give his his shoulder a little squeeze, grab his arm when he makes you laugh, stuff like that gets you into his personal space and is much more of an open way of flirting.

Complement him! Tell him the things you admire about him or like about him. Such as, “I really admire what a kind person you are” or “You have a laugh”. Find something you genuinely like about him and tell him (I’m sure there a hundred things you like if you have a crush on him, lol).

However, when developing a friendship with this new guy be careful that you do not get SO chummy as friends that it would be weird to date. Make sure you keep flirting with him so that he is aware that you are attracted to him and that you are interested in being more than just friends.

Hi Katie,

There is this guy I really like. He’s not kinda the type that you would think I would like. I’m afraid to ask him out, because my best friend went out with him, and still isn’t over there break-up.

And I can’t wait because school’s almost out and he might not come back after the summers over. What should I do?

Thanks,

Kristen, 12

Dear Krista,

It wouldn’t be right for you to date him right now since your friend isn’t over him. You can always ask her if she would be OK with it if you REALLY want to date him. But chances are she is going to tell you she would rather you not. Respect your best friend by not going after this guy.

It would be better for your friendship if you didn’t date her exboyfriend. If he doesn’t come back after summer is over, look at it as a good thing and that it is for the best.

Hey Katie,

I really like a boy that I’ve known for seven years but he told my friend that he doesn’t like me even though everyone says he does. We’re always flirting and when my friend told him I liked him I pretended I didn’t know and he suddenly became wickedly nice to me.

I always catch him lookin at me but mostly when I’m laughing or smiling. We’ve held each others gaze tons of times. We go outside everyday and we text every night but I think he likes me although he says he doesn’t? How am I supposed to no please help me!

Rach, 15

Dear Rach,

Here are some signs that a boy likes you. Ask yourself these questions to find out if the guy you like does.

Does he look at you a lot? If you always catch him staring at you he might like you.

Does he overly flirt with you? Some boys will flirt with you a little for the fun of it, but the ones who flirt a lot are definitley interested.

Does he get nervous when he talks to you? Some guys get nervous when they are around girls they like. If he likes you he might start talking really fast or act weird or different when you come near him.

Does he try to make physical contact with you often? If he keeps trying to get close to you or tries to hold your hand, he likes you.

Does he ask you personal questions like if you ever had a boyfriend or if you are allowed to date boys?

Does he get upset if he sees you flirting with other boys?

Does he smile and laugh nervously at your jokes?

Does he always make up reasons to call you or hang out with you?

If you answered YES to more than two of these questions, then he definetly likes you!

Hey Katie,

I really need your help. So I’ve been visiting my boyfriend in Beverly Hills for the past couple of months when he’s being treated for cancer. The other night we were up talking and he was talking about how he might not have much time left and I told him he was being stupid.

Then he said that he want us to get married and have a baby because he said he loved me and never wanted to lose me…I don’t know if he’s just saying this cause he thinks he doesnt have much time or because he really wants to. What should I do?

Jennifer, 15

Dear Jennifer,

When people are faced with death, they often start to live in the moment and embrace their life. The realize how short life really is and that they want to make the most of the time they have left. This guy loves you if he wants to marry you. He is just realizes that he may not have time to wait, so he wants to do it now.

You just need to decide for yourself if this is what you want too. He does have a disease that could possibly be terminal, so you need to ask yourself if you are strong enough to deal with his illness. You very well might be strong and able to handle it, but that is something you are going to have to decide for yourself.

Here is how I see it. People have been cured by cancer. There is no certainty that he is going to die now or live until he is 80. We are all going to die at some point…there is no telling when. If you decide that you want to marry him, you have to live with hope and knowing that anything is possible and that his future is JUST as possible as anyone elses.

Hi Katie,

I am friends with this guy. I kinda met him through my other friends, but he is so nice and cute and just plain old AWESOME!

The first time we actually met was when we were at my guy friend’s house helping to film a movie for a school project. I think I might have flirted a little but I’m not sure. I found a toy sword and would poke him with it and we would continuously have “sword fights” on a trampoline. It was so fun and he let me win. After that we talked more and more.

One night I was having a sleep over with my friend and I asked her if she had any idea who I liked and she said either him or another person I used to like. So my question is how do I know if he knows I like him or not?

(P.S. today we had drama club together and we had to build fences together hehe. I was so happy because he asked if I wanted to help.)

Brianna, 13

Dear Brianna,

He probably doesn’t know for CERTAIN if you like him or not. He might have some clues, like that you are nice to him and fun to hang out with. But he is still probably wondering the same thing you are. The cool thing is, is that you both have lots of mutual friends and interests to keep you connected. Use this to your advantage and stay involved in your school projects with him and keep inviting him to hang out with you and your friends.

If you wanna make it a little more obvious you like him, you should start complimenting him occasionally. Make it a genuine compliment. Like how you told me you thought he was really nice and awesome. Tell that to him! I’m sure he would be more than flattered to hear them, plus he will see more clearly that you like him.

Dear Katie,

I met this gut at the beginning of the school year and we became super close. Then he started liking me and I didn’t really like him back but we had a thing for about a week. Then we both dated different people but were still best friends. Then we both broke up with who we were dating and we realized that we liked eachother more than we thought. He told me I gave him mixed signals and he couldnt tell if I really liked him or not so a few days ago he started dating his ex who is a complete slut!

And I cried right in front of him when he told me. I was sooo sad! I really like this guy so what do I do? I’m super comfortable around him! Were like best friend so I tell him everything and at the amusement park the other day we rode a bunch of rides together ane I fell even more in love with him! What am I supposed to do since he has a stupid girlfriend?!

Kayla, 13

Dear Kayla,

In the begining, you weren’t sure if you liked him, and he picked up on the fact that you were not that interested so lost his interest too. He knew that you were not really that into him, so he went for a girl that liked him back. Now that he has a girlfriend you are realizing that you DO like him. It’s either a clasic case of bad timing…or now that he is with another girl he seems more attractive to you. Ask yourself which one it is.

If it is just a case of bad timing, you need to wait until he is single again and THEN you may proceed in flirting with him. But until then, you shouldn’t be telling him your feelings or flirting with him. This will only put him in an awkward situation and he will think you only want him now that he is taken.

Once he is single again, this time be more clear about your feelings with him and don’t be afraid to tell him you like him and wanna go out with him. That way there is no mixed signals again. Sometimes guys need us girls to be straight forward and tell them EXACTLY what we want! Otherwise they really have no clue…they cant read minds! lol!

Hi Katie,

Thank you so much for your advice you’ve already giving me! The guy I told you about hasn’t been hanging around me as much as he used to and our friendship is quickly slipping away. Please help. Thanks! (P.S You rock!) =)

Kennedy, 13

Dear Kennedy,

Instead of standing back and watching your friendship slip away, be proactive and try to keep your connection going. If he has stopped calling and hanging out, take the initiative and call him and invite him to hang out.

He may have other things on his mind right now or something in his personal life that is going on.
All you can do is try and include him more so that he doesn’t drift away. If he continues to give you the cold shoulder, then give him some space to let him do whatever it is he needs to do.

Hi Katie!

I have been going out with my boyfriend for a while now and can never do any more than kiss because I don’t want to undress – because I have plain white bras and granny pantys which my mom buys for me.

I really wanna go further so need some help with lingerie ideas so I feel sexy cute confident. Any help?

Alice, 16

Dear Alice,

Not sure where you live, but you should go to a Victoria’s Secret store if you have one or a similar store. Get something sexy and simple that you can still wear under your clothes. Everyone has a different style when it comes to lingere. Honestly I think your boyfriend would be happy to see your bra and panties no matter what they look like! Guys really don’t care too much, but I think you will feel sexier if you have some lingere that looks hot!

Definetly get a bra and panty set that are made to match. May lingere stores have the matching sets. For the bra, if you have smaller boobs, get a bra that has a little padding that pushes up your cleavage. If your breasts are on the larger size, a bra that is very thin and lacy is always sexy because it covers yet still reveals the shape and size of your boobs which guys love. As far as colors go, really anything can work. Go to the store to try on the different colors to see what looks best with your skin tone. If you have lighter colorings (pale and blonde) go for more pastel colors like pink and yellow, or light blue. If you have darker coloring (brown hair and tan) you wanna try black, red, or darker brighter colors.

Dear Katie,

This is my first time asking a question and it’s quiet a long one so please excuse me. Basically there’s this boy Danny and he’s nearly 17 and I’m a year and three months younger. I used to like him and we were in love secretly. He actually kissed me once and then my mom and his dad were seeing a lot of each other. We didn’t know at first. They went on at least 11 dates before we knew and by then it was too late they liked each other. They’d kiss in front of us and my mom would babble on about his dad to me. I didn’t want to destroy her dreams.

When dad left three years ago she started drugs and drinking and I didn’t want to break her down again. I thought it’d only be a going out nothing more so me and Danny continued going out. We’d make out and everything. I even trusted him to have sex with. I don’t know why that smile would make me melt. Then our parents announced that Chris, his dad, proposed to my mom. I was so speechless. I avoided Danny until the wedding. Oh he looked so cute as the best man. And they are two months into there marriage. Danny keeps trying to kiss me and get time alone with me. Sneaking into my room at night times.

The thing is, them married changes every view of Danny for me. It’s like I’m kissing my brother. I love him but I just can’t love him if they are married. But I can’t resist giving him a kiss every day. Do you think what I’m doing is right? Also I can’t tell mom about Danny she made me swear that I wouldn’t go out with a bad boy until I was old enough and she would never approve of Danny. She would send me to live across the world with my gran. That way she’d know I wasn’t seeing him. Am I doing the right thing IS THIS RIGHT please help and sorry for the long letter.

Love Nicole, 15

Dear Nicole,

Honestly there is NOTHING wrong with you liking him and being with him. He is not your REAL brother. Your parents just happened to get married to each other while you were already going out. It is perfectly fine if you wanna continue to have sex with him and date him since it sounds like you guys still really like each other.

Think about it this way. If your mom had found out about you two dating BEFORE she started dating his dad, do you think that would have stopped her? Probably not! She wouldn’t have thought twice about dating his dad. Try not to see it as him being your brother. He is still the same guy you feel in love with. He’s just the son of the guy your mom married.

However, your friends at school might think differently though. You may not wanna tell all your friends at school about him so that rumors don’t get spread. You don’t want people going around saying you are having sex with your brother. Kids in high school are VERY immature and won’t understand. They will twist it around and make it sound way worse.

Understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing to be with this guy. Just keep it to yourself, it is your private life and no one needs to know right now. They will only make you feel insecure about being with him, when there is no reason to feel that way.

Dear Katie,

Have you ever had a crush who liked you back, but did not give you full attention?
You see… I have always been second best no matter how beautiful I looked or acted when it came to boys! How do I bump up from number two to one?

Lacey, 13

Dear Lacey,

It starts with your own self confidence. What you think about yourself. Because right now, you are not thinking very highly of yourself. You have to BELIEVE you are number one. If you are always walking around thinking you are number two, guys are going to sense that. There is nothing sexier than a girl who is confident…and if you wanna increase your confidence here are some things you can try.

Remind yourself out loud how beautiful you are every day…Say “I’m Confident!” “I’m Number One!” “I’m a loving and caring person!” This may sound kinda corny at first, but over time you will start to believe it and feel that way about yourself! You will no longer feel like number two if you TRULY believe you are number one.

Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t…” Telling yourself this will stop you from ever trying. If you keep telling yourself you are NEVER going to be number one, you are just keeping yourself down. Be careful how you talk to yourself. We are our own worst enemies and talk to ourselves worst than anyone we know. So try and stop yourself from repeating put downs or negative comments you have been told about yourself. Stop telling yourself you are always number two.

Learn how to accept compliments! Next time someone says something nice about you, thank them and remember what they said and believe in it! If you stop focusing on the negative things people say and remember all the good things, you will feel much better about yourself!

Stay positive at all times! Try hard not to complain or talk negative to yourself or in conversations. When you start to be more aware of what you talk about, you may be surprised how much negativity that comes out of your mouth.

Now don’t be too hard on yourself, because changing your self perception and boosting your confidence is not going to happen over night. This may take a while, but it is totally possible to change and feel that you are number one!

Hi Katie,

I really like this guy but he barely talks to me! How do I get his attention or at least for him to talk to me?

Mckenna, 12

Dear Mckenna,

First, you should try to hang out in places where he hangs out. This could be at the mall, movies, or at the skate park or baseball field if he plays sports. But whatever you do, don’t stalk him! Just SUBTLY try to make yourself available to talk to him in person.

Then take the initiative to start up a conversation with him. A good way is to ask him some simple questions at first, like if he can help explain something from class or asking him what time it is. Jokes are also a good ice breaker. Say a funny comment to him about something current and witty. Getting him to laugh will put him at ease so that the conversation flows better.

Next, take initiative to ask him out! You would be surprised by how many guys are too afraid to ask out a girl they’re interested in. They are just as shy as you! Take matters into your own hands. Walk up to him smiling and introduce yourself. You can say, “Hi! I’ve seen you around but never got the chance to introduce myself, I’m Mckenna!” Try not to bug him if he is really busy, but at the same time, don’t let the opportunity to talk pass you by just because you are too nervous.

A great way to start conversation is to start small talk. Comment on something he’s wearing or saying something about the place or event you’re both at. Try to get him to feel comfortable around you. And keep a friendly positive attitude and smile a lot! It’s hard for anyone not to wanna keep talking to someone who is friendly and happy.

You should also flirt with him! This can mean touching him lightly on the arm, for example, or laughing at his jokes. Just be playful and communicate that you’re interested. Compliment him! For example you could say something like, “I love your shoes!”
To keep the conversation rolling, ask him some questions about himself, like what he likes to do, what his favorite place to eat is, or if he likes to play sports. Try to see if you have anything in common with him. Now that you have found some stuff you both have in common, ask if he’d like to do it together sometime.

Dear Katie,

I have a problem and I really need help. I really like this guy for three years. I have recently told my friends that I like him this year. And I think he likes me too because he always winks and smiles at me when ever we see each other. The only problem is my friends say he is a jerk. But they only see him when he is with the so called “popular” group with all the jocks.

I think he just acts like that when he is around his friends. Because when I talk to him he is so sweet and caring because were like best friends and always hang out. I’m just lost please help.

Elaine, 12

Dear Elaine,

It’s good to listen to your friends sometimes when they are trying to help you avoid something bad. But in this case it sounds like you know this guy a lot better than your friends. Go with your gut instinct. Deep down do you believe this guy is a good and honest guy like when he is with you?

If so, then tell your friends, “thank you for letting me know what you think about him but I really like him and I have seen a different side. I will take my chances” And don’t be mad at them or rude to them for trying to warn you. Be courtious and appriciative to them that they shared their opinion, but at the same time do what you feel is best for YOU. Afterall your friends are not the ones who would be dating him, YOU would be.

Hi Katie,

So I have been going out with my boyfriend for about six months and we have never been on any sort of “date”. My mom said she has to go with me… which I don’t get because it is only to the movies or whatever. I love my mom but she is being annoying and I don’t think she even wants me to see him outside of school help!

Kalianna, 13

Dear Kalianna,

I agree! A date would be no fun with your mom there. So here is what you can do. She doesn’t want you to be with him alone, right? So arrange a group date with some of your friends and your boyfriend to go to the movies or someplace. You will be in a public place and with other people, so what can really happen? That way you are allowed to go without your mom, and you get to see your boyfriend too outside of school.

Your mom is probably afraid of you guys being alone together and you getting pregnant. Reassure her that you will not be alone together and that you will be responsible and make good decisions. If worse comes to worse and she still doesn’t agree, you can always meet up with your friends and conveniently forget to tell your mom that you invited him to join you.

Hi Katie,

My crush just broke up with his girlfriend, he said that the relationship was too close, like she stayed at his house for days, they were always together driving around and stuff like that.

Now he broke up with her and I thought this was my chance and so I started flirting, and we started meeting. But it seems like he doesn’t see me as a potential new girlfriend. So how long will it takes until he’s ready for a new relationship again?

Farina, 17

Dear Farina,

There is no telling when exactly he will be ready. But he is showing interest in you. So here is what you can do. Don’t repeat the same mistakes as his last girlfriend. She sounded like she might have been a little too clingy for him. Some guys like when a girl always wants to hang out, but some guys don’t. They like their personal space and don’t need a girl hanging around them 24/7.

First of all, don’t become too available for him. Make yourself conveniently unavailable when he asks you out SOME of the times. Now I’m not saying to turn him down EVERY time, just don’t say yes to hanging out every single time he wants to. This was why his last relationship failed. She became too available for him and he got bored with her.

So keep him on his toes and keep him guessing. If he knows you aren’t sitting around waiting for him to call, he will gain more interest and be intrigued with you!

Hi Katie,

I’ve heard you are awesome at this stuff, and I have A huge PROBLEM!!!

So OK I’ve been going out with this guy for about two weeks and there is this good friend of mine (Lisa) who is going out with another guy. Lisa and my boyfriend hate each other and always have. But me and her boyfriend really like each other! He wants us to dump our partner and go out but that is kinda mean. But I don’t know what to do because I really really really like him!!! Help me!!!

My friend really likes him too but he hates her and was too nice to say no when she asked him out.
I don’t want to hurt her because I’m scared she wont want to be my friend anymore.

Jenna, 12

Dear Jenna,

It’s really not cool to date your friend’s boyfriends no matter how much he likes you or you like him. It will damage your friendship and she will be extremely hurt and feel backstabbed. If you are not happy with your current boyfriend and don’t like him that much, then break up with him. But don’t do it just so you can date your friends boyfriend.

Also, be careful of this guy because he might be playing games. He is telling you that the only reason he went out with your friend because he didn’t wanna hurt her feelings… but it is possible that he is just saying this to make you think he doesn’t like her and that he only likes you. Sometimes guys say these things like this because they like you both of you and want to convince both of you that you are special and are the only guy he likes!

Think about it, if he really didn’t like her at all he would have dumped her by now. Find out from Lisa how he talks to her…does he tell her he really likes her and compliments her? He could saying the same thing to her as he is to you…so beware!

However, if a considerable amount of time has passed (like a year or more), and you still like this guy, than it would be fine if you were to date him. If you and Lisa are still friends you definitely need to check with her first to make sure she is OK with you and him dating. She will most likely be fine with it since so much time has passed, but she will appreciate that you considered her feelings and asked her before you decided to date him. Always respect your friends and treat them well, and never dis them for a guy!

Hi Katie,

OK, Well I like this boy…but he’s younger than me. He’s in grade 6. I’m in grade 7. Well, we go to the same school and we met over FaceBook & mutual friends. We’re really good friends now, and he calls me about every three days or so. I don’t know if he likes me or if he just wants to be good friends!

Also, if he does like me… Should I ask him out? Or should we just start by hanging out together places?

Ella, 12 almost 13

Dear Ella,

When a guy calls you several times a week he definitely likes talking to you and getting to know you better. It can be hard to tell sometimes if he just wants to be friends or if he likes you more than friends. Don’t ask him out just yet since you are unsure of his feelings. Hang out with him and get to know him in person (not just through emails and phone). Once you guys hang out together you will be able to read him better and tell if he likes you or not.

Here are some signs you can look for to see if a guy likes you…Check them out to see if once you guys hang out he displays any of the signs listed. You may find that after you hang out with him he may end up asking you out so you wont have to!

Dear Katie,

Hi Katie!

Okay. I’m in a really sticky situation. I’m falling for a guy I can’t have. I mean he likes me just as much as I like him but he goes to a different high school, he is a Senior when I’m a Sophomore, and he’s a race that my mom feels oddly about. When we hang out together and when he kisses me… It’s incredible! I have butterflies and there are fireworks going off everywhere!

I really love him. And, I think about him all the time! It’s compulsive. But what do I do when I have to sneak out to be with him? (I’m not allowed to date until December) What if he’s not ready for a commitment? I don’t know what to do, please help.

Jade, 15

Dear Jade,

It’s great that you found a guy that you can experience that magical feeling of fireworks and butterflies with! I know how exciting it is! But right now you need to be patient while waiting for December to come. You can’t change your parents rules and it wouldn’t be fare to him if you ask him to commit to when you are not allowed to date him.

Talk to him about your situation and tell him that you will be able to date in December and that you are willing to wait until then when you will be able to spend more time together. Ask him how he feels about you being able to see him more and if he would want that. Seriously December will come faster than you think and then be allowed to date…and if you guys have as strong of feelings as you described, I’m sure they wont fade by December!

However, it is possible that by the time December comes you will have found a different guy that you like better and you will be glad that you didn’t commit to him. So for now it is probably best to just leave your relationship with him open and see each other when you can without having any major commitment or expectations.

Time is always a good test. If your feelings are still strong over time, than you know it is real love. By December if you DO still like each other than you will know that your connection with him is special and he worth pursuing a real relationship with!

Hi Katie,

I have a problem please help me! I love my cousin who is in the UK. I live far from him but my one cousin live there I told her all that I love him and my cousin to whom I love just talked to her about me that I am so cute and stuff like that … but now my cousin is changing that he never said anything like that and he said why would I love her she said he doesn’t love me.

It really hurts me. Last time when I go there in UK my brother always tease him about me because he spends most of his time with me. Does he love me too?Aand what should I do now I am going there in this month?

Emma, 16

Dear Emma,

The only way to find out how he feels about you is to ask him. Don’t ask your other cousins or brother anymore because it sounds to me like the message gets distorted as it goes from them to you. What he is telling them may not be what they are telling you. It’s like the game of telephone…by the time it reaches the last person, the message is completely different than what it originally was!

So clear up the lines of communication and talk directly with him when you go to visit. But don’t expect too much from him because you live far away and he IS your cousin, so the chances of having any kind of real relationship or future with him is pretty slim.

Hey Katie,

So, there’s this guy, and in the beginning of the year (Sept. 2008ish), I knew he liked me. He asked me to dance at homecoming, but I kind of said no indirectly. Now it’s June 2009, and I have gotten head over heels for him. He had a girlfriend January but broke up with her around March…which I didn’t know about until recently.

When I was crying on Monday (because of my poor grades), he helped me up and let me cry on his shoulder. Then we talked again the next day, and there were some people passing by joking around asking “Did you ask her yet?” and my crush replied with “We have been going out for three months. I’m dating everyone: you, etc” After that, I was kind of confused.

I don’t know if he’s a shy kind of person or anything like that, but unless there’s actually something to talk about we only talk about that particular thing, and then our conversation’s over…which sucks because I want to talk to him more.
What’s happening?!

Christina, 14

Dear Christina,

Sounds like he was being a little sarcastic when telling those people that he was dating everyone. It is possible that he does like you and may be wondering if you like him or not. Since you turned him down at the dance, he may have interpreted that as you not being interested in him.

When you talk to him try and keep the conversation rolling by asking him questions to get him talking about himself and stuff that he is into. For example, if he likes to read ask him about what books he has been reading lately. You can also bring up current issues that you read in a magazine or saw on TV… “Did you see that girl American Idol last week?” Keep yourself informed on what is going on in the world and your community and you will have lots to talk about!

Here are some more of my tips on how you can start up a conversation with a guy and keep the conversation going! Guys are usually not that good at long conversations because girls develop their social skills much earlier than boys. You just need to help keep the conversation flowing and it will be fine.

 

Hi Katie,

Hey, I like this guy. He is really cute and were friends and his family likes me and I like his family so there is no problem there…but the problem is, I don’t know if he likes me or not. Half the time I think he likes me but then the other half I’m confused. I think he flirts with me sometimes, I mean he has done the whole Tease,Touch (flirty touch),Questions thing.

Lately he has been acting different torwds me though, he has really been trying to get to know me more. But idk if he is just being a flirt or if he really likes me. He is one of the sweetest, funniest guys, but I wanna ask him if he likes me like I like him.

I don’t want to ruin our friendship and get embarrassed if he doesn’t like me back though. Help! PLEASE!!!

Elizabeth, 13

Dear Elizabeth,

That is a great question! Sometimes it can be really hard to tell how a guy is feeling and you don’t want to jeopardize your friendship. It can be a very fine line sometimes and once you cross it there is no turning back. One good rule of thumb is that if a guy likes you he will eventually make a move as long as he thinks you like him too.

If you do tell him how you feel, just be prepared for if he doesn’t share your feelings. Like you said, things can get awkward, so wait a little longer to see if he shows any signs that he likes you back.
If I were you, I would remain friends and occasionally flirt with him and hint at liking him and find reasons to hang out with him more. This would help set up opportunities for him to ask you out and for him to flirt back if he likes you too.

So suggest to him that you really wanna see a new movie playing or that you wanna learn a new computer game. See if he suggests you guys see the movie together or if he offers to teach you the game. This way you are not putting him on the spot by asking straight out if he likes you back. You are giving him a chance to show you that he is interested without having to come out and say it.

Hi Katie,

There is this guy I like and I think he likes me too but I can’t seem to figure out if he likes me or not. I read my friend and his journal (which I know was completly wrong of me) and found out he might ask me out.

I heard his brothers tell everyone he likes me. But he hangs out with other girls. My other friend said he does that to make girls he likes jealous. I’m pretty sure he likes me but I dont know why he doesn’t just ask me out already.

Is he just nervous? Should I ask him out?

Kennedy, 13

Dear Kennedy,

He has told his friends he likes you and written in a journal that he is going to ask you out, so I think he definetly likes you. He is just waiting for a the perfect opportunity to ask you out. Here are some things that you can do…

Make yourself available! When he asks you what your plans are for the weekend, don’t start rattling off a list of things you have to get done. Instead say that you are open still and don’t have any plans. This leave him with an opportunity to ask you out since you are not busy.

Find times when you can be alone with him! Guys don’t like to ask a girl out when she is with her friends or if he is with his friends in fear that if they are rejected other people will witness it. So try to find excuses to be one on one with him, like walk to class together, or at lunch don’t hang with your friends the entire time. Tell them you will be back and go near where he is hanging out and read a magazine or something. If he sees that you are alone, he will be much more comfortable approaching you than if you are with all your girlfriends.

And when he flirts with you flirt back! (So that he knows that you are interested too!) When it comes to asking girls out, guys are very scared of rejection. Esspecially when they are your age and just starting to ask girls out, they like to make 100% sure that the girl is into them too. A good way to flirt back is to laugh at his jokes, have some body contact like squeezing his arm or sholder, use good eye contact, and complement him!

When he is sure that you like him back, he will be WAY more confident that you will say “yes!” when he asks you out. So help boost his confidence and don’t be afraid to show him that you like him back.

Hi Katie,

Okay there is this guy, I really like him and I think he likes me, and I really want to date him. I love him to pieces..he is the sweetest guy I have ever known. I told him my feelings when he was drunk and I told him everything and I ended up falling asleep next to him. I didnt have sex with him but I slept by him, and it was amazing it felt comforting. Please help!

Cassidy, 13

Dear Cassidy,

Hi sweetie! It sounds like you really like this guy and that everything is going great with him! Can you be more specific as to what your question/problem is? Did he not react the way you wanted him to when you told him your feelings? Let me know a little more details and I will help you best I can =)

Hi Katie,

Hey Katie, thanks for answering my last question about if a boy liked me or not and with your answer I think he does like me. But how am I going to tell him that I want to be more than just friends?

Rach, 13

Dear Rach,

When it comes being more than friends, there is a fine line and once you cross it there is no turning back. If you do tell him how you feel, just be prepared for if he doesn’t share your feelings. Things can get awkward, so to play it safe, maybe you can flirt more with him in hopes that he will get the hint and ask you out.

Take matters into your own hands by flirting with him! This can mean touching him lightly on the arm, for example, or laughing at his jokes. Just be playful and communicate that you’re interested. Compliment him! For example you could say something like, “I love your style!” This will differentiate you from a friend zone into the dating zone.

Also, here is a little tip on what NOT to do when asking a guy out. Don’t run up to him and say the words quickly. And defiantly DO NOT have a friend tell him that you like him! Guys HATE that! It is embarrassing and they will think you are immature.

Hey Katie!

Alright so I met this gut at the beginning of the school year and we became super close. Then he started liking me and I didn’t really like him back but we had a thing for about a week. Then we both dated different people but were still best friends. Then we both broke up with who we were dating and we realized that we liked eachother more than we thought.

He told me I gave him mixed signals and he couldnt tell if I really liked him or not so a few days ago he started dating his ex who is a complete slut! And I cried right in front of him when he told me. I was sooo sad! I really like this guy so what do I do? I’m super comfortable around him! Were like best friend so I tell him everything and at the amusement park the other day we rode a bunch of rides together ane I fell even more in love with him! What am I supposed to do since he has a stupid girlfriend?!

Kayla, 13

Dear Kayla,

In the begining, you weren’t sure if you liked him, and he picked up on the fact that you were not that interested so lost his interest too. He knew that you were not really that into him, so he went for a girl that liked him back. Now that he has a girlfriend you are realizing that you DO like him. It’s either a clasic case of bad timing…or now that he is with another girl he seems more attractive to you. Ask yourself which one it is.

If it is just a case of bad timing, you need to wait until he is single again and THEN you may proceed in flirting with him. But until then, you shouldn’t be telling him your feelings or flirting with him. This will only put him in an awkward situation and he will think you only want him now that he is taken.

Once he is single again, this time be more clear about your feelings with him and don’t be afraid to tell him you like him and wanna go out with him. That way there is no mixed signals again. Sometimes guys need us girls to be straight forward and tell them EXACTLY what we want! Otherwise they really have no clue…they cant read minds! lol!

Hi Katie,

I recently started going out with this guy, we just have two weeks of going out and we already have a lot of problems. See he wants me to be more controlling & to tell him who to talk to and who not to, he wants me to tell him not to go out with his friends & I really don’t want to do that because I’m afraid that he’s going to get tired of me later on! He asked me if I’m not afraid of losing him.

He also wants me to stop talking to this guy friend that I have because he doesn’t like him. I really don’t know what to do should I be more controlling & be the jealous type of girlfriend so he stays with me? I really don’t wanna lose him!

Sandy, 16

Dear Sandy,

It sounds like this guy is fishing for signs that you care about him and that you don’t want to lose him. Sometimes when a person in a relationship is acting jealous, the other person feels like they care. This is not a healthy way of expressing your feelings in a relationship, but can happen in some cases. Guys and girls both like to have some sort of validation of the other persons feelings in a relationship.

We all like to know that they are into us as much as we are into them! Tell him that you trust him and are not the jealous type of girlfriend that would do those things he is asking you to do. It is actually better that you trust him and aren’t telling him what he can and can’t do.

Instead, show him in other ways that you care and don’t want to lose him. For example, you can tell him how wonderful and special he is and that you think he is a great boyfriend. By giving him affection and confirmation of your feeling for him in these other ways, he might stop seeking that jealous behavior from you.

But if he continues to try and control you and who you hang out with, ask yourself if that is the kind of guy that YOU want to be with. Jealousy is usually a symptom of insecurity and it usually doesn’t get much better if the guy is already acting jealous in the first two weeks. Just monitor how you feel when he tells you that you can see certain friends, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Don’t go changing all your friends for him, cause if it doesn’t work out and you’ve abandoned all your friends, you will not have anyone to turn to.

Hi Kate,

Okay, so there’s this one boy, I’ve known him since the fifth grade. He was a new student at my school. I didn’t like him at first though. I had thought he liked me since he kept on following me around and staring at me. And since then I started to slowly like him, day by day, and like when I told him I liked him, he didn’t say anything. After that day, it was like an “awkward” moment for us. We didn’t talk as usual.

And six grade came… we started to talk a little bit more, but still awkwardness. So to make things right, I decided to tell him I didn’t like him anymore and it was so last year’s news, but deep inside I knew I still do. Then I had told one of my closest friends and like they started to embarrass me by saying, “Hey! She is asking you out” & stuff like that, it was very embarrassing. I kept on saying “eww, the f*ck I don’t” to try to defend our friendship. Anyhow, we graduated “elementary” and like now we are in different middle school/Jr.high school. I’m still thinking about him, I think about how he laughs and how he’s funny & stuff like that.

I sometimes got insomnia. I had many dreams about him. I sometimes even think he’s the one. But now, I don’t know what I should do, should I give up on him or should I wait ?

Lina, 13

Dear Lina,

Sometimes when you have liked a guy for a while and think about him a lot, the energy towards him builds up and it may seem like you are liking him more and more. But it is really just your feelings getting built up and more intense over time, until he seems like the only guy in the world. But that is not the case and it doesn’t mean your in love, it’s an infatuation.

You have been sending him some mixed signals, so he is probably pretty confused and doesn’t know what to think. You say he likes you, then you don’t, then your friends are saying you still do…you get the point. He doesn’t know how you feel for sure so he is probably playing it safe by giving you space.

If you want the awkwardness to go away, you have to start by acting as if you are comfortable around him (EVEN if you really aren’t!) If he is around you and you are feeling awkward about what happened in the past, then he will sense your awkwardness and he will feel it too. Feelings are contagious. When you are around happy people, it is much easier to be happy, right? So if you act like nothing is bothering you and that you are confident in yourself, he will feel good when he is around you too.

But if he still feels weird when you are around him after you attempt to hang out with him again, don’t worry, it’s not you. He might just be kinda shy and awkward around girls… especially the ones that like him. If that is the case you may want to focus your energy on something or someone other than him so that you can move on and realize that it was just an infatuation.

Hi Katie,

I really like this boy who is 14 and I’m not sure how to get him to ask me out. He admits that he likes me and that he WOULD go out with me. He’s single now and he calls me everyday and we talk for at least an hour. We also text and email.

The problem is that I haven’t had a boyfriend before and he has had several girlfriends. The other problem is that he seems to also like other girls and so what should I do? He is one of my best friends and he even calls me babe and sexy and he calls us friends with benefits.

Paloa, 13

Dear Paola,

Sounds like this guy is into you, but he may not wanna commit to one girl. It’s not necessarily a bad thing that he has been in other relationships and you haven’t. But it’s not a good thing that he says your his friend with benefits. Sounds like he wants all the benefits that comes with having a girlfriend, but without all the commitment and responsibility of an actual relationship. Maybe his past relationships were a lot of drama so he is afraid to get into one again.
Don’t let him take advantage of you…don’t give him any of the “benefits” if he wants to see other girls, say that you wouldn’t feel right about it and that you want a guy that wants to be with you and no one else. If he sees that you have respect for yourself, he will in turn have more respect for you and value what you have to offer him as a potential girlfriend.