Hey Girl to Girl,

My problem is that a boy at school likes me but I like someone else. I did go out with him for a while but that was ages ago. Since then he has been out with other people but he still likes me and he keeps talking to my friends and saying how he feels. How can I tell him that I’m not interested?

Thanks,
Izzy, 13

Dear Izzy,

Tell him the way you would want a guy to tell you. It’s not always an easy thing to hear when you like someone and they don’t like you back. So be kind to him yet clear on where you stand with him. Say something like, “I’m glad we can be friends!” That way he gets the hint that you just wanna be friends and nothing more. You may even want to casually mention the guy you have a crush on so he knows you have moved on. However, don’t rub it in too much that you are over him, he has feelings too.

You can also mention to your friends that when he says stuff to them like that he still has feelings for you, that it is OK for them to let him down easy and tell him that you like someone else now and don’t feel the same way back.

Hey Katie,

What should I have in my High School Girls Emergency kit?

Jenna, 14

Dear Jenna,

Great question! There are some things that every girl needs to have on hand when in high school in case of emergencies! Here is a list of what you should have in your High School Girl’s Emergency Kit:

Tampons and Pads! You never know sometimes when you might start your period or if one of your friends will need one. Have some extras on hand in your backpack and locker so that you never have any embarrassing accidents!

Extra Makeup! Bring some extra makeup like some lip gloss and a compact so that you can touch up your makeup throughout the day. When at school for 7-8 hours a day you will probably want to freshen up your makeup at some point throughout the day.

Hand Sanitizer! Great to have some hand sanitizer on hand to keep germs away. There are so many other kids sharing desks and opening the doors that you will want to occasionally sanitize your hands to keep yourself at less risk for getting a cold or the flu!

Gum or Breath Mints! You never know when your crush may approach you and wanna chat…so have some gum and breath mints on hand so that you never risk having embarrassing bad breath!

Hand Lotion! It’s always good to have some hand lotion for when you need to re-moisturize! Your hands can get pretty dried out after touching lots of papers and using the bathroom soaps throughout the day…so have a little bottle of your favorite scented lotion to keep your hands soft. Plus if its scented than it will keep you smelling fresh!

Hair Brush and Hair Tie! It’s always good to have your own hair brush and tie for when you need to touch up. Try not to depend on your friends for theirs or let them borrow yours if you can. Plus for gym class or towards the end of the day you might want to put your hair up and it’s nice to have a hair tie with you.

Extra Sweater! It’s always good to have an extra sweater in your locker for if you get cold and didn’t wear warm enough clothes. Also, if your school is strict about the dress code…you might wanna have the sweater to put on if you are wearing a shirt that they deem inappropriate. Cause some schools will make you change into an ugly oversized t-shirt to embarrass you from ever wearing anything inappropriate again.

Tissue! You never know when you will be needing a tissue. There is nothing worse than being stuck in class when your allergies kick in or if your nose starts to run! Have some extra tissue in your book bag so that you can grab it fast if you need it.

Deodorant! Bring a little travel size deodorant in your book bag or gym locker. You may want to reapply it once in a while especially after you exert yourself in gym class or if it is a really hot day.

Exactly what is it that makes someone a great girlfriend?

Besides possessing the obvious attributes of being faithful and honest here are 5 Key Traits Of How To Be A Great Girlfriend…

1.) She’s Independent!

A real man appreciates when his girlfriend has her own personality and opinions, and can stand on her own both financially and emotionally aside from him. She has her own friends and own interests outside of him. When a girl can maintain her identity separate from her boyfriend their relationship will begin to feel much more like an equal partnership.

2.) She’s Intelligent!

Having a girlfriend that is beautiful but dumb gets old pretty fast for guys. That’s why guys love to have a girlfriend that can meet them on an intellectual level. Her wit and intellect keep him on his toes, and deepens his attraction to her past the physical realm and into a deeper level.

3.) She Allows Him To Be A Man!

A great girlfriend understands the differences in men and women, and allows her guy to be who he is…a man. This means that she won’t force him to start using pink and lavender toilet paper, or sit through a “Desperate Housewives marathon. She knows that he is a man and doesn’t expect him to like everything she likes. A great girlfriend also doesn’t get bent out of shape if her guy tries to do guy things like watch a ball game or hang out with his buddies.

4.) She Loves Him!

On the surface, such a trait would seem like a given. But allow me to dig a little deeper beyond the surface. A great girlfriend loves her man…flaws and all. To her, it’s okay that he isn’t the best dresser; or that his jokes fall flat. She just loves him for him, good and bad. She takes the time to show him how much she loves him and appreciates him each day.

5.) She Makes Her Guy Strive To Be Better!

Being a great girlfriend is about inspiring your guy to improve himself without even saying anything. Just being around you makes him want to better himself. Suddenly he begins to be cleaner or get his finances in order, he starts treating people better, and he even clips his toenails on the regular! It’s all because you are being great girlfriend and inspiring him! You just have that kind of effect on him.

Hi Katie,

I haven’t started my periods yet, but when i put my finger up my vagina the other day, and when i took it out, there was some blood on it, i put a thin pad on as i thought it was my period starting. there was a bit of dark brown stuff on the pad when i went to the loo, and then for the next day i had like lightish brown discharge. I thought it may have been my period but i haven’t had anything since.

Please help, as i’m a bit concerned about it.

Thank you

George
.

Dear George,

It sounds like you may have almost started your period. Sometimes in the begining that is what happens before you get your full blown period. If it went away, just monitor it, it is probably your body just getting ready for puberty. But if you keep getting unusual discharge you should tell your mom and have her take you to see a gynochologist.

xoxo

.


Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hi Katie,

I bleached my hair a few weeks ago and now it is a light yellow blonde. I really want white/platinum blonde hair. I have used a toner and that took a lot of the yellow out but it’s still not as light as i want it. What can I do? 

Please do not tell me to go to a salon. I went to a salon to get it bleached, spent $100 just to get bright orange/blonde that I had to fix myself. I’m not going to another salon.
Please Help!        Danica

 

.
Dear Danica,

Try using L’Oreal “Super Blonde” which will lighten your hair all the way…comb it through your strands evenly and make sure you leave it on long enough. (I leave it on for 45 mins to an hour, but since you have already bleached your hair you can skip this step.  But for everyone else, after using Super Blonde, wash it out thourghly and dry your hair. Once dry it will not be the exact color you want it.

It will look really pale and yellowish…this is normal, do not panic! This is the stage your hair is in right now.  So next you are going to use a semi permanent color that is light blonde or golden or ash blonde. Two of my favorites is by Revlon Colorist or Colorsilk

Comb through your hair thoughouly and leave this hair color on you hair for only 5-7 minutes and rinse.  Then, if your color is too brassy or yellow use a purple shampoo such as Shimmer Lights to tone it down…when using this shampoo, lather it really well and make sure not to leave it in too long. Only thirty seconds at a time.

If it is still too brassy or yellowish, use the purple shampoo again each day until you see the results you want. (but make sure not to over use…this will turn you hair a purplish or grayish color) If you use it in 30 second intervals you will achieve the “white or platinum” look you want.

I’ve been doing this now because to my own hair for a couple years now. I know what you mean, I could never get the salon to do it right either! Now I get it just how I want it.

If you have any trouble with using this technique, feel free to email me again and I will help you to get the results you are looking for!

xoxo

Hi Katie,

Me and this guy have been hooking up for 6 months now. At first it was just for fun, but now we like each other and we both know we like each other. He doesn’t want a relationship because he’s afraid when we fight one of us will just say ok, it’s over. Then it will really be over.

So were just staying the way we are. Of course we don’t let one another hook up with other girls. With our fighting it’s really confusing because we fight over the stupidest things. It’s just I’ve never had a guy who “likes me” treat me the way he does.

He jokes around, but it hurts me and when I give the signs of being annoyed or sad, he gets mad at me for acting that way. But then I’ll try to get over it, then he always ends up hooking up with me, and I don’t even notice the game he’s playing.

I don’t know if he likes me anymore or is just more concentrated on hooking up. It is hard because I feel the only way to make him happy anymore is to hook up with him…and that’s all I want to see: him happy. Please HELP me!

By the way it’s hard to just move on because I have been with him for 6 months now. So I obviously have strong feelings for him.

~ Cambria

.
Hi Cambria,

Sounds like when he jokes around you take it seriously rather than finding the humor in it.

You weren’t specific on what his jokes were, but if they really are hurtful you need to communicate that to him so he is aware of how his jokes are affecting you.

But tell him in a calm and objective way; don’t tell him when you are all annoyed and mad at him, that could lead to another argument.

If all else fails, find a guy who will make you happy and you feel like you don’t have to try and change anything about yourself for.

Rather than feeling like you always have to please him, start thinking about how you can please yourself.

Best,

Katie

Girl to Girl Talk

~
Hi Katie,

I just turned 18 and am a senior in highschool. I have a crush on a teacher, but he is NOT currently my teacher, he teaches freshmen and I am a senior.

Is it okay to date a teacher if they’re not “your” professor?

How do I know if it’s against the school guidelines, or it’s the same in all schools? And if it is ok, how do I approach him?

He’s not married and there’s a little age difference, he is in his mid 20′s. ~Megan
.

Dear Megan,

Is he into you too? If you really like him and you think that he has similar feelings, you should follow your heart. But take it slow and get to know each other better before you rush into anything.

Just take it day by day and see what happens….if you start dating and it gets more serious you should discuss with him if there are any consequences for student/teacher dating in highschool. You don’t want to jeopardize his career or yours….so if you are a senior then you should be graduated soon and maybe then you can be in a more serious relationship then.

I do know a girl who dated one of her teachers in college (different than highschool but I think is relevant) and they have been together 3 years now and just got engaged (she just graduated last spring)…but their relationship is still kept very “hush, hush” and not a lot of people know, especially at the school, so that tells me that there are probably some rules that discourage or maybe even forbid it.

But if you really like this guy a lot, like I said before you should follow your heart, it may end up being love. Just don’t jeopordize his or your future careers…it may be best to wait a year until you graduate and see then if you still have the same feelings.

xoxo

Hi Katie,

I was just wondering how you and other girls feel about themselves without wearing any make-up. I feel like since I started wearing it a couple years ago, now I dont like myself without it.

I think Ive gotten so used to seeing myself with it on, that now I dont like myself without it.

What do you think about this topic?

Anna

Hi Anna,

This is a great topic, thanks for bringing it up! I wear makeup everyday but I put it on very naturally…so it looks as if I am wearing very little.

Recently I just got comfortable enough for my boyfriend to see me without makeup and he thinks I look naturally beautiful without it. I think I look better with makeup but I think I look good without it too.

I think this happens to most girls who are so used to seeing themselves with makeup on, and then once they wash it off it doesn’t seem like the same them. Maybe try to apply your makeup very natural and minimal so that when you do wash it off it wont be a drastic difference.

So I guess it is just a matter of being comfortable with yourself and accepting your natural beauty…makeup should enhance your beauty not disguise it, that way when you are not wearing any it won’t look so different.

Katie

Hi Katie,

I used to go on a message board and became close with a lot of the people. I don’t go on it anymore, but I still talk to a few of them. One of the girls recently added me on MySpace, and is constantly coping what I do.

Obviously she thinks because she doesn’t talk to me, she can copy me and get away with it. She reads my comments, obviously, too. I mentioned a movie and then the next day she goes crazy about it’s her favorite movie.

I have the word ‘scandalous’ after my name on MySpace; she puts the same word after hers. I put a picture of me with certain makeup on; she does it the same way and posts a picture a few days later.

I don’t mean to sound like one of those bitchy MySpace girls, but the only contact I have with her is through MySpace. I deleted her, but she can still see my MySpace page, obviously.

I need advice on what to do please?

~ Becca ~

Hi Becca!

Copying is truly a form of flattery…I know that sounds cliché but it sounds to me like she looks up to you and thinks highly of you.

She may be lost herself and sees something in you that she wishes she could be like.

Don’t let it get you angry, think of it as a compliment…plus now that you deleted her you don’t have to worry about her anymore, you can always put your page as “private” so only your friends can view your page.

You could also try doing something really funny by dressing ridiculos in your picture and see if she copies you. Then the joke is on her!

Just don’t take it so seriously and let it bother you so much. If making light of it will help you see the humor in the situation it might be your best bet!

xoxo

Hi Katie,

Just wondering if songs ever remind you of things? There are a few songs that everytime they come on remind me of a guy I really like.

Does the same thing happen to you?

Brooke
~

Hi Brooke,

Yes, it’s funny how a certain song can bring you back to a moment in your life and you can see that memory like it was yesterday, and it even makes you feel a certain way.

One song for me is “Hotel California” by the Eagles….for some reason that song always brings back a memory and feeling for me. I love how music can do that! So maybe you were with or thinking about the guy you like when that song came on and that is why you are reminded of him.

I took a psychology class in college and learned that is actually a type of hypnotism. The song is the trigger and the emotion and memory is the conditioned response. Very interesting topic!

xoxo

Katie
Girl to Girl Talk

Hello Girl to Girl,

I am good friends with him and I talk to him online all of the time. I also used to be good friends with her.

Recently I told him that I really like him. He said that he likes me too. But he also said that he was confused because he has a girlfriend and it’s not like he would dump her to be with me because he loves her. But at the same time she treats him poorly and he knows it.

He said that I am an incredible person and anyone would be lucky to have me. I honestly think that him and his girlfriend are not going to stay together for much longer ( they have been dating for about 2 years, but this past summer they were apart for a bit after she cheated on him).

Should I even bother?

Kelly

.

Hi Kelly,

That is funny because I have been in a very similar predicament! I liked this guy who I have been friends with in college for about a year and he has a girlfriend he has been with forever. I don’t know as much about their relationship as you know about your crush’s relationship, but in all reality that is not my place to judge.

I respect his choice to be with her and I don’t want to mess that up if he is happy. I just am friends with him and if that is all it can be than I am happy with that.

He seems like a very genuine and honest guy which is one reason I am attracted to him and I know that I would want a man that would leave another girl he supposedly loves because that would just be a sign of insincerity on his part.

So if I were you, I would just remain friends and keep him in your life and if his relationship is as bad as you are claiming than inevitably it will not work out between the two of them.

Just leave it up to fate and don’t try to break up the relationship that could just end up being bad karma for you!

Hope this helps!

Katie
Girl to Girl Talk

Hi Katie,

Ok well I went to homecoming with this guy I haven’t seen in years, and I literally had the BEST time! We danced all night, and I could tell he is totally into me cuz he didn’t take his eyes off me all night.

I know I really like him, and he’s a very respectful outgoing guy. The only thing is I’m usually only up for dating guys who are 19 or 20, with a job, a car, and more maturity.

This guy I currently like is only 16, but like I said …I really like him. So should I go for it? Is dating a guy the same age as you really that bad?

Luv Maddy

Hi Maddy,

At this time in your life you don’t need to be dating a 19 or 20 year old guy. You are not looking for a husband right now so who cares about his job and car right now.

I know from experience, most older guys dating 16 year old girls are losers who can’t get a girl their own age. Go for the 16 year old guy, you are more likely to find true love and a meaningful relationship that is not based on his job or car, because that won’t last.

Plus you really like this guy, go for it! My first love was in high school and he was my same age, 16, and I don’t regret it at all!!!

xoxo

Katie
Girl to Girl Talk

Hi Girl to Girl Talk,

There is a guy I want to go to home coming with but I don’t know how I should ask him and if he already has a date or would even want to go with me.

Anybody know any cute tips on how? Or any advice?

xoxo Alexa
.

Dear Alexa,

You should just flirt with him and start casual conversation. Then bring up the dance during your conversation. Maybe see if he is going with anyone yet…

Like ask him if he has a hot date yet…and if not, does he want one? Be flirtatious and sweet when asking him.

Or maybe in the midst of the conversation maybe he will suggest you both go together and you won’t even have to ask!

Good luck!

Katie

 Girl to Girl Talk

Hi Girls,

I definitely think it is better to be yourself than to not be yourself. And who says being yourself will make you any less popular?

I think if you are truly comfortable with whom you are and confident in being yourself you will attract far more people than if you are fake and trying to be someone you are not.

I think finding yourself and the comfort and inner peace that comes with knowing who you are and what you stand for is one of the greatest feelings, and know popularity contest will ever feel that great. I think it would just feel wrong because deep down you know that you are not being yourself.

Anyways, I think that being fake all the time just to find popularity and attract certain people as friends, I would have to stop and think about the types of friends I am attracting.

I would much rather have one really sincere friend rather than 30 superficial friends who like me for someone I am not.

Interesting topic, thanks for bringing that up!

xoxo

Katie
Girl to Girl Talk