Hello Katie,

Hey, so I need boy advice. I am a really happy, caring, funny and a kind person at least that’s what my friends tell me. And I get along with all of the girls in my grade (I go to an all-girl school) but the thing is I feel like boys don’t like me. I used to go to a co-ed school but then I just went to an all-girl one and yes it is hard to find boys but I still have guy friends.

Even though I do have guy friends, I feel like they actually don’t like me that much and I know that they don’t like me as more than a friend, and I try to seem appealing to them but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I know that I’m a good person, but I don’t think I’m pretty and I think that I’m kind of fat. What can I do to seem more appealing to guys? (this summer I am going to try and lose weight)

Hannah, 16

Dear Hannah,

It’s great that you are aware of your good qualities such as that you are funny, happy, caring, and kind. These qualities are very special and can be rare sometimes. I think the guys you are friends with right now are just not mature enough to see past your outer image. However, I do think you should continue to set goals for yourself to start eating healthier and exercising regularly. This will help your outside appearance match your inner beauty.

I can tell that you are confident in the inner qualities that you have and others will definitely see your confidence and feel good when they are around you. I have met people that are not extremely attractive on the outside but once I have gotten to know them and seen how kind and sweet they were, they actually became more attractive to me because they had such a great inner beauty. So keep embracing your inner qualities as you work on your outside appearance.

In the meantime, take a look at the beauty section, there are lots of great tips for makeup and beauty! So make sure that you are following all of the tips in order to look your best!

Hi Katie!

I have been going out with my boyfriend for a while now and can never do any more than kiss because I don’t want to undress – because I have plain white bras and granny pantys which my mom buys for me.

I really wanna go further so need some help with lingerie ideas so I feel sexy cute confident. Any help?

Alice, 16

Dear Alice,

Not sure where you live, but you should go to a Victoria’s Secret store if you have one or a similar store. Get something sexy and simple that you can still wear under your clothes. Everyone has a different style when it comes to lingere. Honestly I think your boyfriend would be happy to see your bra and panties no matter what they look like! Guys really don’t care too much, but I think you will feel sexier if you have some lingere that looks hot!

Definetly get a bra and panty set that are made to match. May lingere stores have the matching sets. For the bra, if you have smaller boobs, get a bra that has a little padding that pushes up your cleavage. If your breasts are on the larger size, a bra that is very thin and lacy is always sexy because it covers yet still reveals the shape and size of your boobs which guys love. As far as colors go, really anything can work. Go to the store to try on the different colors to see what looks best with your skin tone. If you have lighter colorings (pale and blonde) go for more pastel colors like pink and yellow, or light blue. If you have darker coloring (brown hair and tan) you wanna try black, red, or darker brighter colors.

Dear Katie,

Have you ever had a crush who liked you back, but did not give you full attention?
You see… I have always been second best no matter how beautiful I looked or acted when it came to boys! How do I bump up from number two to one?

Lacey, 13

Dear Lacey,

It starts with your own self confidence. What you think about yourself. Because right now, you are not thinking very highly of yourself. You have to BELIEVE you are number one. If you are always walking around thinking you are number two, guys are going to sense that. There is nothing sexier than a girl who is confident…and if you wanna increase your confidence here are some things you can try.

Remind yourself out loud how beautiful you are every day…Say “I’m Confident!” “I’m Number One!” “I’m a loving and caring person!” This may sound kinda corny at first, but over time you will start to believe it and feel that way about yourself! You will no longer feel like number two if you TRULY believe you are number one.

Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t…” Telling yourself this will stop you from ever trying. If you keep telling yourself you are NEVER going to be number one, you are just keeping yourself down. Be careful how you talk to yourself. We are our own worst enemies and talk to ourselves worst than anyone we know. So try and stop yourself from repeating put downs or negative comments you have been told about yourself. Stop telling yourself you are always number two.

Learn how to accept compliments! Next time someone says something nice about you, thank them and remember what they said and believe in it! If you stop focusing on the negative things people say and remember all the good things, you will feel much better about yourself!

Stay positive at all times! Try hard not to complain or talk negative to yourself or in conversations. When you start to be more aware of what you talk about, you may be surprised how much negativity that comes out of your mouth.

Now don’t be too hard on yourself, because changing your self perception and boosting your confidence is not going to happen over night. This may take a while, but it is totally possible to change and feel that you are number one!

Hi Katie,

So I’m what people call “over-weight” or “fat” and most of the time I just ignore them, but lately it’s been getting harder, and I’m starting to feel like it’s impossible to get this weight off and that I’ll never be at a normal weight.

I was wondering in you had any tips or anything on how to get more self-confidence?

Thank you! <3

Ashlea, 13

Dear Ashlea,

It’s hard not to get discouraged and feel the way you do about never being able to be a normal weight. But I think you are on the right track when you asked about your confidence and losing some of the weight. You already realized that confidence plays a BIG part in being happy with yourself and feeling good about your weight.

And also you have a realistic outlook at losing weight, as you mentioned that you want tips to lose SOME of the weight. Sometimes girls start to think that there is a way to lose it over night, so they buy into the diet scams that sell bogus pills that claim to take pounds off overnight. So to answer your question, here are some tips on how to boost your confidence:

Remind Yourself Out Loud How Beautiful You Are Every Day…Say “I’m Confident!” “I’m Gorgeous” “I’m a loving and caring person!” And believe it! And if you don’t feel beautiful on the outside at first, try focusing on your beauty inside. This may sound kinda corny at first, but over time you will start to believe it and feel that way about yourself!

Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t…” Telling yourself this will stop you from ever trying. Substitute negative words with positive ones and your will see that you really can do it!

Be careful how you talk to yourself. We are our own worst enemies and talk to ourselves worst than anyone we know. So try and stop yourself from repeating put downs or negative comments you have been told about yourself.

Learn how to accept compliments! Next time someone says something nice about you, thank them and remember what they said and believe in it! If you stop focusing on the negative things people say and remember all the good things, you will feel much better about yourself!

Stay positive at all times! Try hard not to complain or talk negative to yourself or in conversations. When you start to be more aware of what you talk about, you may be surprised how much negativity that comes out of your mouth.

Hi Katie,

So I’m what people call “over-weight” or “fat” and most of the time I just ignore them, but lately it’s been getting harder, and I’m starting to feel like it’s impossible to get this weight off and that I’ll never be at a normal weight.

I was wondering in what are some simple ways to get SOME of the weight off?

Thank you!

Ashley, 13

Dear Ashley,

To lose some weight, here are some things you can start doing:

Start Excersising Every Day! Now you don’t have to run 10 miles a day, just pace yourself and do a little at a time. It is really easy to find excuses why you don’t have enough time to do it, so MAKE yourself! Even if it is just walking for half an hour…every little bit counts. So start off slow and work your way up. Who knows, maybe you will end up running 10 miles!

Start a Food Diary! Get a journal and start recording all the food you eat every day. And BE HONEST! There is something about putting it into writing that makes you see how much you really are eating. You might not even be realizing how much you are snaking until you write it down. So start monitoring your eating patterns and take a good honest look at it and what your should and shouldn’t be eating.

Eat More Fruits and Vegetables! If you start to eat more natural foods such as fruits and veggies you will still be full but you will have consumed less calories. And less calories equals less weight.

Stop Eating Out Of Boredom! Many girls eat for emotional reasons NOT because they are actually hungry. So next time you reach for the potato chips or ice cream ask yourself if you are really hungry or if you are just feeling bored or lonely. You will find 9 times out of 10 that you didn’t really need to eat them.

In addition, your confidence will also increase as you start to lose weight. And as your get more confident, you will start to treat yourself and your body better by eating right and exercising daily. So they really go hand in hand and if you get the right combination of confidence building and a healthy diet and exercise you will start to feel better and look better in no time!

Hi Katie,

I’m 14 and haven’t gotten my period yet. I’m starting to get worried because everyone in my family got it in 8th grade and now I’m going into 9th. Also I’m the only person I know who hasn’t gotten it.

I was also wondering if you get a growth spurt when you do get your period because I’m only 5 feet tall and one of the shortest in my grade. One last thing is it true you lose weight or “baby fat” when you get it because I used to be skinny and now for the last couple of years I’ve gone through a chubby stage.

Thanks,
Izzy, 14

Dear Izzy,

Don’t worry you are going to get your period within the next couple of years. I didn’t get mine until I was 14, and some girls don’t get theirs until they are 15 even 16 sometimes! Your family is always a good guideline for when you might get yours, but that’s all it is, is just a guideline…not an exact science. So just because you didn’t get yours exactly when your mom and sister got theirs does not mean that there is anything wrong with you.

And yes, you will experience some growth spurts, however don’t expect your height to go from 5′ to 5’11″. You may grow slightly taller and you will start to gain weight a little easier and start to get more womanly curves. At your age, whether you’ve started your period or not, your body is going through hormonal changes which could be why your body is filling out more now. This is perfectly normal and expected.

Hi Katie,

I feel ugly and uncomfortable in my body, I always feel like there is somebody staring at me or that everyone is prettier than me. And please don’t give the everyone is beautiful no matter what line, if you want I could send u a picture of me for you to look at and be the judge, if not oh well but please help me. Thanks Katie.

DO YOU THINK I’M PRETTY?
I ATTACHED MY PICTURE

Vanessa, 13

Dear Vanessa,

Seriously I want you to know that I felt the same way when I was thirteen. We are our own worst critic and it can be hard see what other people see when they look at you. You see your own face in the mirror everyday, and after a while it’s had to have an objective view of your looks and what other people are seeing. We see ourselves through the filters of our own minds, which can be very murky and misleading. It’s super easy to spot the negatives in ourselves and then compare ourselves with other girls. I did it too. But I’ve learned, no matter how pretty you are…there will always be someone “prettier”. So you can’t keep measuring yourself up to other girls, you have to stop judging yourself so hard.

Trust me, no one is looking at you thinking any of those things…people are far to concerned with themselves, lol! I don’t think that EVERYONE is beautiful physically…but there is beauty in everything if you look deep enough. Sometimes people who are not necessarily beautiful on the outside, are so kind and loving that it radiates out of them and they become beautiful. I’m telling you this because I have found it to be very true. The more I have worked on myself inside, the more beautiful I feel on the outside. But you are already beautiful on the outside! So anything else on the inside is a bonus for you!

You are a beautiful girl, I got the picture you sent me. I wish you could see what I could see…
Just realize that you are not alone in feeling the way you do right now, there are lots of girls that feel just like you. Beautiful girls criticize themselves all the time and think they aren’t pretty enough.

I think confidence comes in time and with maturity. You are at a tricky age, where you are transforming from a girl to a woman. Learn to be patient with yourself and be fortunate that you are beautiful. Sometimes the easiest and fastest way to change your state of mind is to be grateful. Look at all the things you have to be grateful for…cause trust me there are girls who have it pretty bad. You have great skin (which many girls your age don’t have), your a healthy weight (which lots of girls struggle with but you don’t have to), you have gorgeous eyes, your hair is thick and beautiful (which some girls get extensions to have hair like yours). So are you starting to see that you have a lot going for you?!

Keep thinking about what you have to be grateful for and you will realize you have it much better than a lot of girls and you will start to see the beauty that I see when I look at your picture.

Hey Girl to Girl,

My problem is that a boy at school likes me but I like someone else. I did go out with him for a while but that was ages ago. Since then he has been out with other people but he still likes me and he keeps talking to my friends and saying how he feels. How can I tell him that I’m not interested?

Thanks,
Izzy, 13

Dear Izzy,

Tell him the way you would want a guy to tell you. It’s not always an easy thing to hear when you like someone and they don’t like you back. So be kind to him yet clear on where you stand with him. Say something like, “I’m glad we can be friends!” That way he gets the hint that you just wanna be friends and nothing more. You may even want to casually mention the guy you have a crush on so he knows you have moved on. However, don’t rub it in too much that you are over him, he has feelings too.

You can also mention to your friends that when he says stuff to them like that he still has feelings for you, that it is OK for them to let him down easy and tell him that you like someone else now and don’t feel the same way back.

Hey Katie,

I had my REAL period like 1 1/2 month ago. It hasn’t come back since then…what’s going on with my body?

Cara, 12

Dear Cara,

When you first start your period (and I’m assuming you just started yours since you are twelve)…sometimes it can take several cycles until it regulates itself to once a month. You may even skip some months or have a really light period. Your hormones and chemicals in your body are changing and your body is adjusting to them.

It is always wise to go see a gynecologist after you first start your period so that they can do an overall checkup and make sure that everything is normal. But don’t stress too much about it being a month and a half since you first started, it is very common for girls your age to experience irregularity with their periods.

Katie,

Help! Every Sunday for the past two weeks have been havoc for me and my head. Last Sunday before church, I got a really bad headache. The Sunday before, the head ache occured in the middle of church. It seems to settle down after I take a bath and have some soup. I am just wondering if there is a way I can prevent it. Thanks so much!

Tina, 12

Dear Tina,

Make sure you are drinking enough water. Especially if you are going out Friday and Saturday night. Headaches are usually a symptom of dehydration…which is lack of water. So keep yourself hydrated and drink lots of water over the weekend and you will feel a lot better by the time Sunday comes around.

Hi Katie,

I’m kinda in a slump! I notice nothing but flaws in myself and I know I’m pretty in my own way but I just don’t have that confidence, I never have. My whole life has been nothing but put downs from people that wont stop or leave me alone!

How do I gain more confidence when I know I’m unique but don’t believe it? I’ve tried hair cuts, different makeup but I just don’t believe I’m pretty? Can you PLEASE help me I have so much on my mind and just need a load off!

Madison, 14

Dear Madison,

Great question! Confidence is something that I think everyone wishes they had, but most people lack. True and lasting confidence comes from within. And if it were easy, we would all have it! Many people try to derive confidence from their outer appearance, but then as soon as they have a bad hair day or begin aging, then their confidence flies out the window!

I think in your case, you have been listening to everyone’s negative comments. You say you’ve been dealing with people putting you down you entire life and that can be draining! You have heard these negative comments so much that now you believe they are true about yourself and that is why it is really hard for you to see that you really are a beautiful person.

Here are some tips you can use to boost your confidence:

Remind yourself out loud how beautiful you are every day…Say “I’m Confident!” “I’m Gorgeous” “I’m a loving and caring person!” This may sound kinda corny at first, but over time you will start to believe it and feel that way about yourself!

Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t…” Telling yourself this will stop you from ever trying.

Be careful how you talk to yourself. We are our own worst enemies and talk to ourselves worst than anyone we know. So try and stop yourself from repeating put downs or negative comments you have been told about yourself.

Learn how to accept compliments! Next time someone says something nice about you, thank them and remember what they said and believe in it! If you stop focusing on the negative things people say and remember all the good things, you will feel much better about yourself!

Stay positive at all times! Try hard not to complain or talk negative to yourself or in conversations. When you start to be more aware of what you talk about, you may be surprised how much negativity that comes out of your mouth.

Now don’t be too hard on yourself, because changing your self perception and boosting your confidence is not going to happen over night. This may take a while, but it is totally possible to change and feel good about yourself again!

Dear Katie,

I am 15, and I started my period last year I have been worrying about it. My Aunt said apparently if you bleed a lot that you may have cancer, and I bleed heavily all the time so I am quite worried. Was my Aunt right?

Lilly, 15

Dear Lilly,

Every girl is different and some girls get heavier periods than other girls. Also it can be heavy sometimes then lighter other times. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong. Heavy periods are often caused by your hormonal changes and fluctuations and it is very common in teenage girls.
It is always a good idea to get annual checkups with a gynecologist. They will monitor your period and make sure that everything looks OK.

If you are still worried, you can always ask them to do a biopsy to test your cervical cells for cancer. This may help to put your mind at ease and know for sure that you are fine and don’t have cancer.

Hi Katie,

I’m 7 1/2 stone (which is 105 pounds). I don’t look OVER weight, just a little belly, but when people talk about weight I get all embarrassed. I do have big thighs though. I want to know what I’m supposed to do about this. Thanks !

Ellie, 12

Dear Ellie,

There is nothing you can do about what people are saying. You are feeling uncomfortable because you are probably not 100% satisfied with your weight. But try not to let their comments get to you. You are twelve and your body is developing and growing. It is OK to have a little extra weight right now, I don’t think you should start focusing on any diets at your age. If you start worrying about your weight now, you will obsess over it as you get older.

Give yourself a break, don’t get too down on yourself for what others are saying to you. Just eat what your body needs for nourishment. Don’t get into a habit of eating for comfort or out of boredom. This will only set you up for a habit that will be harder to break later in life.

If you are eating normal and getting a normal amount of physical activity for your age then you are fine…don’t stress. You are probably just maturing earlier than other girls and getting hips and thighs (which is perfectly normal). Have fun and enjoy being young…you’ll have all the time in the world when you are older to worry about stuff like this.

Hey Katie,
I have been a vegetarian for a month and a week now. My family thinks its fine, their totally supporting me. But I’m the only one in my family who is a vegetarian. I’ve tried to persuade them, but they keep saying it’s not for me and all that stuff. So I’m ok with that now, since it’s their choice.

My actual question is that I’ve been dieting and not eating any junk food for a month now. And I plan on still doing it. And I’ve been doing vigorous exercises. All this is to lose weight. I’m 107 right now. I plan on going to 95.

My parents have found out I was on this diet, and they keep telling me I can get hurt, I know I can but I know my extremes. I don’t know if I should listen to them or do my own thing? Any help?

Andrea, 13

Dear Andrea,

Being a vegetarian is a perfectly fine decision to make if that’s what you want to do. Like you said, it’s a personal choice and you can’t convince your friends to want to become vegetarians too. But it sounds like you are becoming a vegetarian to lose weight too.

It’s really easy to start dieting and just want to lose a few pounds and then lose control and obsess over it. A simple diet can become a strict diet where you count every calorie and gram of fat in your food until suddenly that’s all you think about. So just be cautious and aware of what can happen, and that it is very hard to stop once you start thinking about food in this way.

My suggestion to you is if you want to be vegetarian, do it for health reasons, such as you want to be healthy and eat nutritious food. Don’t do it to lose pounds on the scale. The scale does not measure how healthy you are and it is easy to get attached to those numbers and not see that you are risking your health to be a few pounds lighter. If you are focusing on giving your body what it needs, no more and no less, then your body will find its healthy weight on its own.

Many friends of mine have had issues with food and dieting and have had obscured views of what they should and shouldn’t eat, and all of them who have gotten past it have all said they are much happier with their bodies when they aren’t trying count every calorie.

The truth is, if you starve your body, your metabolism will slow way down and you will gain weight more easily because your body wants to hold onto every calorie it can get! This is bad and in the long run you can end up becoming over weight because your body is storing food that it would normally burn because it is afraid of starving itself.

Realize that curves on a woman are beautiful and give her a womanly shape. Guys like this! Guys don’t like girls that are twigs and look like skeletons. So try not to look at your scale to determine what weight you should be…look in the mirror to see how your body proportions look.

And keep in mind that at your age of 14 you are at a vital time for developing into a woman and if you restrict yourself too much on this diet you may end up stunting your growth and not develop properly (i.e. your height and breasts). So give your body a chance to develop properly. Vegetables and exercise are great and healthy choices, just remember to nourish your body, and don’t deprive it.

Hi Katie,

I havn’t had my period yet, what should I do?

Brittney, 12

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Dear Brittney,

You are twelve and are worried that you havn’t had your period. You are not alone! Many twelve year old girls are wondering when they are going to start theirs. But the truth is, most girls don’t start their period until they are 13 or 14, sometimes even 15!

So don’t worry you are perfectly fine, you will get it in the next few years. I didn’t get mine until after I was 14 and I remember wondering if I would ever get it! It felt like all my friends were getting theirs, and I still hadn’t.

So try to be patient, and don’t compare yourself to your friends who might be getting theirs before you. It means nothing that you start early or late, it’s just that your DNA is different than your friends.

You will still develop into a woman just as they will…at your own pace and in your own time.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Girl to Girl,

I started my period a while ago when I was 12. And the first time I had it it lasted for 7 days and then 5 and then 3 and then it repeated for about four weeks. And then my period STOPPED! I have know idea why.

I’m kind of worried about it because now I’m thirteen and I don’t have my period any more please help me. I would be very thankful and appreciative =)

Gabby, 13

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Dear Gabby,

Whats happening to you is perfectly normal, don’t worry. The lengths of most girls periods can vary anywhere from 1 days to 8 days…it is quite normal for it to fluctuate, especially during the first year or two that you have it. For some girls it can even take years to stabilize.

And in regards to your period stopping. If you are not sexually active then you know that it is not because you are pregnant. It is common for girls to have missed periods at your age when your hormones are still trying to stabilize. You shouldn’t worry too much, it could be something simple such as a change in your diet or exercise that caused it to stop too.

But even though it doesn’t sound like anything you should be alarmed about, it is always a good idea for a girl to start seeing a gynecologist once a year once she starts her period. Talk to your mom about scheduling a check up soon so you can know for sure that everything is normal and healthy in that area.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hello Katie! (:

Well lately, all of a sudden I started to break out. I uberly hate acne and epecially acne scars. The situation isn’t very bad. But you can tell even when I try to cover it with makeup.

I still want to get it solved before it gets worse because I don’t feel as pretty and confident about myself. So I was wondering if you have any home remedy for getting rid of acne and acne scars.

-Alexis, 14

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Dear Alexis,

There is definetly nothing worse then acne because there is no true cure for it. Sometimes no matter what you do it still happens so I can see your frustration. I have a friend who has always had really bad acne and she used to try and cover it up by using a lot of thick makeup and foundation…but it always ended up looking caked on and accentuated her acne making it more noticeable rather than covering it up!

So then she started using that all natural mineral makeup (like Bare Minerals) over the last year and her skin looks SO much better. She still has some acne when she washes off the makeup, but when she is wearing it, her skin looks amazing!

And as far as remedies you can do yourself, here are a few tips for keeping your skin clear and healthy:

Use a face wash and lotion for sensitive skin. Most people think they have to use creams with stonger ingredients which ends up irritating their skin even more! I love Oil of Olay face lotion for sensitive skin and their disposible mosturising face cloths! They make your skin feel amazing without any irritation.

Also avoid eating a lot of oily or greesy foods like fried foods, pizza, or chocolate. Your diet has a lot to do with your skin! So make sure to eat nutritious food, drink lots more water, and eat less greesy foods and your skin will clear up in no time!

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Dear Girl Talk,

I’m in a bit of a mess, theres rumours going round school about how I have ‘hairy armpits’ and stuff.

Truth is i dont know how to get rid of it.

~Tamsin, 15

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Dear Tamsin,

The way to get rid of hairy underarms is SUPER easy! Just buy a razor and when you are in the shower shave your entire underarm! You are at the age where you should start making this part of your daily hygine routine…cause girl, hairy arm pits are definetly not sexy!

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

To Katie,

I’m 14 and a half and I’m still almost completely flat chested, and obviously don’t have my period yet. I do have pubic hair, but I am still worried and embarrassed about my body all the time.

I know my mum didn’t get her period till she was 15, but I don’t know how to talk to her about this to ask when she got proper boobs or if I should be worried. Should I be? please help!

~Lauren, 14

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Dear Lauren,

I was a late developer too! So I totally understand your worries. All your girl friends are getting their periods and developing boobs.

I think that since your mom started late, it is a very good chance you will start late too due to your genetics. You wont start developing your boobs until you’ve had your period, and it is perfectly normal for you to not have started yet. I was 14 1/2 when I started mine. Usually your boobs will develop into a similar size to your mother’s.

You probably want to ask her to see when she started to develop to get a good idea of what you can expect to go through. And I know that can be an awkward conversation for sure! So one way is to mention that you want to get a bra and then she may start talking about girl stuff with you. You can just say, so were you my age when you got your first bra? Then once you are on the subject you can bring up your period too.

Plus, she is your mother and will be more than happy to help guide you through this stage of your life! So give her the opportunity to share her experience with you.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“How can I feel pretty when I’m just so ugly?

I go to an all girl’s school and everybody there is skinny,athletic tall and really pretty.And I’m the complete opposite.

I’m short and ugly and flabby and no matter how hard i try i can’t lose weight.Everyone there has had multiple boyfriends and I haven’t even talked to a guy since primary school.if i had boobs it wouldn’t be as bad but everyone assumes that small boobs mean athletic body,except in my case. Can you Help? Thanks!

Emily, 13

Dear Emily,

Here is the thing, at your age, you think that the way you look now is the way you are going to look like forever, but that is so NOT true! I look much prettier now than when I was your age! Some girls talk longer to develop and find their best look. Looking back now at some of the girls I grew up with it is funny to see how they turned out now that we are in our twenties. Many of the girls who were skinny and pretty are now HUGE, and many of the girls that were a little chunky have now lost weight and look amazing!

Now is not the time for you to be focusing on guys anyway. You are in an all girls school so use your time to focus on other things that you are good at and have fun! I think you need some sort of theme or hobby in your life. Something that makes you feel good when you do it. Like a sport, or art, or dance, or music, or even find your own unique style! This will really help you develop a confidence in yourself and your abilities that aren’t based solely on your looks (which don’t last anyways)
Over time, as you start eating better and exercising a little and as time goes by, by the time you are in your twenties you will have lost weight the healthy way and feel great about your looks and your inner self.

So try not to look at your situation like your doomed because over time as you work on you positive attitude and inner confidence (based on things other than your looks) everyone gets old and loses their looks anyway, so why not develop your confidence based on something that will last forever!? So find something you are really good at and put your energy into that rather than worrying about your looks. If you keep comparing yourself to other girls, you will never feel good enough, because there will always be a girl out there that is a little better looking.

Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four years now and I just started noticing that he likes blondes, which upsets me because I have black hair. All the celebrities that he notices and points out are blonde and people who he used to have crushes on in the past are blonde.

My self-esteem and self-confidence have disappeared because having black hair is something I can’t change. He won’t admit that he likes blondes but how can I gain my self-esteem back if all the girls he likes are blonde and none of them look like me?

Nancy, 19

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Dear Nancy,

People often think they have a “type” but then they meet someone completely different and find that they like that type better than the type they once thought they liked! I always dated blonde hair, blue eyed, all-American looking guys. But then I met a guy that was ethnic looking with black hair and I ended up falling for him! I didn’t think he was my type at first but I ended up liking him MORE than any of the blonde guys I dated in the past.

Just because he admires blonde hair on celebrities, doesn’t mean that it is the only quality in a girlfriend that he wants. You may have ALL of the other qualities he is looking for…such as your heart, personality and sense of humor! Which in my opinion is WAY more important than a person’s hair color!

So before you get the urge to turn blonde(lol) take a look at how he treats you and the other qualities that he loves about you. That will give you a much better view of the whole picture and you will see all the other positive qualities you bring to the table in your relationship.

If your boyfriend is good to you and treats you with love, respect and admiration than try to focus on those aspects of the relationship. He probably doesn’t wanna say that his “type” was blonds in the past because that would obviously hurt your feelings since you have black hair…and he doesn’t want to make you feel bad.

So try to recognize that he does see beauty in you…if not he wouldn’t have been with you for four years now!

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“Hi..this is my first time on here and i have been reading all the question but I’m not sure this one has been covered, well if it has I’m sorry! anyway, I need help I have two problems: How do shape your eyebrows??? I can’t do it!
Also thanks for the help of periods, i have realised that i will start soon, but you shouldn’t be in a hurry!! I’m getting there and some of my mates have started and i know i will I’m just smaller then them so i will be later!!
Lora, 13

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Dear Lora,

One of the best tips for shaping eyebrows is LESS IS MORE! I remember trying to pluck mine when I was about your age and I didn’t ask anyone how…I just kinda winged it! And I ended up plucking way more than I should have…which is VERY easy to do!

So be conservative in how much you pluck. It also depends on your natural eyebrows…do you have bushy ones or small ones? A good thing to do would be to go to a professional salon and have them shape them the first time for you (most hair salons or nail salons do this). Then after that you can just maintain them by plucking the stray hairs that grow back. I really wish I had done this before trying it on my own!

BUT if you would rather do it on your own…here are some basic guidelines of what you want to do. But please be very cautious because it is very easy to mess them up! Since eyebrows “frame” our eyes, they are an important feature of your face that enhance your eyes and can make them more bright and open.

Beginning of Eyebrow: Hold a pencil parallel to your nose,straight up-and-down and this will show you where the brow should begin. (most of the time your brow naturally begins here and there is no adjustment needed!

Arch: This is the highest point of the eyebrow and by holding a pencil from the edge of your nostril past the outer edge of your iris (the colored part of the eye) and up to the eyebrow you can pin point where the arch should be.

End of Eyebrow: The brow should end at the outer corner of your eye.

Katie

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I’m a skinny person and everyone says I’m anorexic when I’m not! I eat and I’m really healthy and I could live on salad! Anyway, I explained to them I was born two months early and I’m very small so I’m gonna be skinny but they don’t understand, What shall I do??

Laura, 13

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Dear Laura,

I had the exact same problem when I was younger! Everyone always thought I was too skinny, but I ate what ever I wanted, I just had a fast metabolism. I was also born early and have always been small. It sounds like you are really frustrated by what people are thinking.

And since you can’t change the way they think about you (maybe they are jealous and wish they were skinny too so they put you down…who knows) the only thing you can really change is your attitude. When they say “wow you are skinny” smile and say cheerfully “thanks!” like you are taking a compliment. Stay positive about it even when they are not and soon they will see that you are happy the way you are.

When you get defensive and upset by their comments, it only confirms their negative thoughts and they will think that they are right about you being anorexic. So don’t let them ruffle your features, be glad that you got a great metabolism because there are a lot of girls who have the opposite problem…they wish they WERE skinny like you.

Also, I’m glad I was able to shed some light on your period situation!

Katie

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“Hey!

I need some good advice… Every time I think of what I want to do in the future, I get a really sick feeling in my stomach, because I don’t know if I would have a chance in what I want to do. My heart belongs to singing and acting. When I see people, I put myself into their feet, and when I do, it’s like so amazing how much I could feel into their situations.

Everyone in my family know that I have an amazing strong voice, and they know that I love to pretend to be something else, but since I haven’t been showing as much of my compassion for a loooong time( since I was way young), I kinda feel like they don’t care, and don’t know what I am dreaming and chasing of. I have been through a lot the past four years in my life, including my insecurities, my mind, my family, and people around me. So when I think of having the future I dream of, I get that sick feeling in my stomach, like I am obviously not good enough. I guess it’s bad when I feel like I could throw up when I think of what I would hope to do in the future!!!?!!!

I am always the one, no one bothers looking at, and if they do, it’s like such a “what are you doing, and who cares about you.” So when I dream of what I want, I feel like it’s not possible because of feeling insecure. (like the looks that everyone gives me) Maybe if I were to audition for something sometime, I feel like I could sooo do it, because if I didn’t feel so insecure, and were more confident, they could just see the earthly, lively, strong sensibility in me!!!!!

I really need help on feeling confident on who I am, and I really need help about my mood changing drastically( even when I listen to music), And I also need help on how to not let people getaway with stepping right over me (mentally and definitely verbally, like things to say or do)

Thank you sooooo much for reading my long letter,lololololol”

~ Tamara, 14

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Dear Tamara,

You are definitely NOT alone in feeling this way. I have come to find that WE are our OWN worst enemy! And this is true with ALL people, myself included. Usually the person holding us back most from our dreams is ourselves! This may sound crazy but it is SO true! Think about it, ddoubting yourself is the only thing standing between you and your dreams! And YOU are the only one who can change that! “How?!” you might ask…well this is the tricky part. Its hard to just tell yourself to be confident and then you will be confident, it just doesn’t happen that way.

So start with baby steps. If you start telling yourself negative things such as, “I am not good enough” or “my family doesn’t believe in me” etc. try to realize that they are not true. That you are lying to yourself and start telling yourself how beautiful your voice is and that you ARE good enough. Tell yourself you can be a singer…and BELIEVE it! You believe yourself when you tell yourself those negative things, so why not try to believe that good things you tell yourself?! And if you don’t want to get any input from your family, in fear that they may give you negative feedback, then hold back from singing around them until you feel confident enough to not care what they think.

Confidence is not something that happens over night. So give yourself a break! No one else thinks of you the way you think of yourself. No one would even talk to you the way you talk to yourself. (and this is true with EVERYONE!) We are the most critical or ourselves than anyone else in the world! And being aware of this is the first step. That way when you start having these negative thoughts and insecurities you will know that it is not REAL and that you are being WAY to hard on yourself.

The truth is, you can be ANYTHING you want to be. You have a talent when it comes to singing and that is NOT a talent that most of people have. You have been BLESSED with a beautiful voice now EMBRACE it! Go join a choir or singing group and get back into it. You will find that when you sing you will feel that passion again.

Singing makes you happy….so SING your heart out!
xoxo

Katie

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Hi Katie,

So I am worried if I am fat..I am 13 and I weigh 130 pounds is that fat??? What is the best way to lose weight???

I have thought about going bulimic and anorexic but I know that’s really unhealthy.
And I want to go to the gym but I have no time. Any other ways I can lose weight? ~ Sydney
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Dear Sydney

You are healthy and that is great! If you want to lose weight or just stay in shape join a fun class at the gym, or get active in sport you love.

Whatever you do, do not go to any drastic measures like bulimia or anorexia….these are diseases that can permanently damage your body and your mind. It will become an obsession and struggle for the rest of your life.

Your health will suffer severe consequences; you can develop heart problems, infertility, mal nutrition, osteoporosis, and many other problems.

You say you don’t have time to exercise, but even just incorporating activity into your day like going on a couple of short 15 minute walks, or joining a softball league and practice once a week you should be just fine.

Please take my advice and don’t get too obsessive over it…it will only be a really hard and long road ahead of you if you do.

Much love,

Katie

Hi Katie,

Just wondering if songs ever remind you of things? There are a few songs that everytime they come on remind me of a guy I really like.

Does the same thing happen to you?

Brooke
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Hi Brooke,

Yes, it’s funny how a certain song can bring you back to a moment in your life and you can see that memory like it was yesterday, and it even makes you feel a certain way.

One song for me is “Hotel California” by the Eagles….for some reason that song always brings back a memory and feeling for me. I love how music can do that! So maybe you were with or thinking about the guy you like when that song came on and that is why you are reminded of him.

I took a psychology class in college and learned that is actually a type of hypnotism. The song is the trigger and the emotion and memory is the conditioned response. Very interesting topic!

xoxo

Katie
Girl to Girl Talk