I have been having my period for about a year now and I am seeing a boy who is 13. We were playing around and he put his penis in me, but not for very long. I am due to have my period in a week could I get pregnant from this or not?

Jenny, 14

Dear Jenny,

Yes you can definitely get pregnant when having sex at any time during the month. There are times during your menstruation that you are more prone to getting pregnant and that is during your ovulation (which is different than when you have your period). Your ovulation is when your body releases an egg and it usually happens one to two weeks before you get your actual period. If you don’t want to get pregnant you need to start using some form of protection such as birth control pill or condoms to be safe.

Hey Katie,

So me and this guy have been talking for about three weeks. He has a reputation for playing girls, but as always, I didn’t listen to any of the things people were telling me.

In school he and I always hang out together and a lot of people think he is my boyfriend cause they see us together, but he is not. Last night I went on his Myspace page and saw that he was talking to some other girl on the phone that night. He also never called me last night because he was talking to the other girl on the phone.

This isn’t the first time that he’s done something like this. I realize that I’m not his girlfriend but it still bothers me when he talks to other girls especially since he’s always saying how special and important I am to him. So my question is am I over-reacting or should it be bothering me? And what do I do about it?

Chelsea, 15

Dear Chelsea,

There is really not much you can do about him talking to other girls since you are not his girlfriend. You are still getting to know each other and it is probably not a good idea to say anything about it to him at this point. I think what is bothering you most is what other people are saying about him. You hear people talk about him being a player, and it seems like although you don’t want them to be right, part of you is just waiting for them to be right and for him to “play” you.

Stop looking at his myspace. When you only see partial conversations things can be extremely misinterpreted. I have guy friends that say stuff to me sometimes that if my boyfriend read he could easily get jealous and assume it meant something else when it means absolutely nothing. You are going to drive yourself crazy by going on his Myspace and looking at the girls he is talking to and their conversations. You are not seeing the whole picture and are assuming that he is having flirty conversations with other girls and it only upsetting you.

Since it sounds like you want to have more with him, just give him the opportunity to show you that he is into you and get to know him better. If you show him a jealous side of yourself right from the start and get upset that he is talking to other girls, he is going to get scared away and think that you are a jealous girl…no guy likes that because he will think that it will only get worse if you are actually his girlfriend.

Hi my name is Carley and my hair is so boring. I have brown hair that is wavy but I straighten it because it looks terrible wavy. I need some hair ideas that don’t invovle a lot of time and products. Like a hairstyle that takes like five minutess to do and you can do yourself.

I was also wondering what color eyeshadow I should wear. I have dark brown eyes and fair skin, what is a good color combination for me?

Thank you,

Carley, 14

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Dear Carley,

Sometimes the same hairstyle on several different girls looks totally different. It really depends on the shape and features of your face. A good hairstyle of one girl with brown hair may look bad on another girl with brown hair. So it is really about accentuating your best features and finding your own unique look.

A good way to find ideas for fresh new hair styles is to look at a famous actress, or model or singer who has similar colorings and facial features as you and see what they are doing with their hair to best flatter their face.

You say you have brown hair, and fair skin which is similar to actresses such as Penelope Cruz and Natalie Portman…take a look at pictures of them and what they are doing with their hair that makes them look their best. I think this will help give you great new ideas for hair styles.

And about your eyeshadow, I would say since you have light skin and dark features that you can pull off wearing dark color eyeshadow and light colors too since your skin is fair. It really depends on the event, if you are going out at night with friends or to movies darker colors will help make your eyes stand out. But for day to day eyeshadow for school and stuff, lighter taupes, browns, and coral colors will look great with your colorings.

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“I have shoulder length & relatively thick hair. It’s naturally straight but it looks best curly. I have curlers but when I curl my hair it never stays curled for the entire day so that by 5th period my hair is just a mess.

What can I do to keep my hair curled?”

Pauline, 15

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Dear Pauline,

To keep your hair curled you can do a couple of tricks. First spray your hair with hairspray before you curl it. Then use a really hot curling iron (either 1′ or 1.5′) and wrap your hair around it starting from one end of the iron and wrapping in a spiral pattern down the iron so that the entire strand of hair you are curling touches the iron.

When done curling spray all hair once again with hairspray to give them a longer lasting hold (I like the aerosol kind of hairspray).

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Dear Katie,

I was just wondering how to put eyeliner on the top eyelid.

I put it on the bottom, but I need to do it on the top because it doesn’t look right! (lol)

Could you show me how?

-Gabriella <3

Dear Gabriella,

When you put eyeliner on the top lid, you don’t want to do the entire lash line. Start just a little inside of the center of the lid and put the pencil right on the lash line. Then draw the line alone the lash line to the outer corner. The line should get a little thicker towards the outer corner of your eye.

One tip that I found VERY useful is to use a color that is not black…because black can be way too harsh for everyday use. Find a nice charcoal grey or taupe color (which goes with all eye colors) and it will really help define your eyes with out being too obvious that you are wearing eyeliner.

Make sure also that the line is blended in with your eyelashes, otherwise if there is a gap it will look funny. I will be posting your video soon on the website, so check back soon to watch your video about eyeliner!

“Hey Katie,

I’m having a problem with guys. There is one that likes me and I don’t know how I feel about him. And the other I like and he said he likes me too! But he just got back together with his ex-girlfriend.

Both of them are really sweet and the second guy (the one that just got back together with his ex) I’ve known since 6th grade. I’m so confused about my feelings and I don’t know what to do! The first guy called me last night asking if I wanted to go to a movie on Saturday and I said I had to get back to him about it.

But I don’t know what to do! I’m just so confused on my feelings! What do I do? How do I figure it out? And all together with that… How do I Get my dad to stop being so in my face. He won’t give me space! Any advice?”

Madison, 15

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Dear Madison,

You should just date the first guy you are dating now. Don’t date the other guy that got back with his ex girlfriend. You don’t wanna get involved with him, he is working on his relationship with his ex girlfriend. The first guy asked you to them movies and is obviously interested in you, so go for him! He is definitely the better choice of the two.

And about your Dad, that is what Dads are best at! Sounds like he is all up in your business, but he really just cares. Sometimes Dads have a funny way of showing it though. Moms are more sensitive and loving, but Dads are usually less emotional and harsh when it comes to parenting, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. So just try to stay on his good side and try not to get into too much trouble, then he should back off a little.

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“A guy in my class likes me and he is asking all of these very personal questions what should I do? Tell him or ignore him?”

~Vanessa, 14

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Dear Vanessa,

You definitely don’t need to tell him ANYTHING that you don’t want him to know. That is rude of him to ask you personal questions. And it’s OK for you to tell him that! Just say “your getting a little too personal don’t ya think?” You don’t have to be mean or rude, say it nice but firm. He might not realize he is being too personal, so don’t get mad at him, just help him see that his questions are inappropriate.

If he still doesn’t get it and continues, you can try ignoring him, but if that doesn’t work and he keeps bugging you…start asking him REALLY personal questions (in a funny way, not mean) and maybe he will realize how invasive his questions are and leave you alone.

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“”I like this guy in all of my classes. But every single friend I have hates him. And people say he likes one of my friends who especially hates him. We talk a lot, and yesterday we were in a computer lab and he was next to me, and we were sitting really close because he was on my computer.

We were playing a game, and two guys came to us and were like, ‘Dude, you’re hitting on her!’ And he looked at them, then at me and didn’t say anything. I’ll look at him, then he’ll turn around to look at me. He helps me when I pretend not to understand things, and we have real conversations,We talk a lot, and even though were only in 8th grade, I think we could make a relationship work.

I want to get his number but I’m not sure how. Should I even try or not?”

~Taylor, 13

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Dear Taylor,

Sounds like you may want to get to know him better and hang out with him (away from your friends) in order to get to know him a better. Because then you will be able to see if your friends are just being judgemental or if there is a reason that they don’t all like him. Try not to pay attention to your friends not liking him…if you like him that is what really maters. (unless they hate him because he is mean to them, then you may want to look into why your friends feel the way they do, they might be warning you about him). But that doesn’t really sound like the case….I will leave that up to you to judge for yourself.

And about exchanging numbers…If you get his number…just stay FRIENDS for a while…don’t rush into any type of relationship or anything. You are thinking too far ahead about having a working relationship with him because you are still getting to know this guy. A relationship will happen in time if you and him end up both really liking each other. Plus what if you get to know him better and don’t really like him…it will be much easier to stop hanging out with him if you are just FRIENDS.

Being friends first will also make it MUCH easier for you to get his number and get to know him better because you are just hanging out as FRIENDS. Plus you could always give him your number if you are afraid to ask him for his. And when you get his number or give him yours have a reason to do so. For example if you guys were going to his house to play video games or something that he would do with a FRIEND it wont be awkward to exchange numbers.

Katie

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“So I really really like this guy and I just met him like a month ago. He seems like Mr. Perfect and we talk to each other a lot but he goes to another school and me and his mom don’t really like each other. But I really want to ask him out what do I do?”

~ Liza, 16

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Dear Liza,

If you really like this guy, like you say you do, you should make an honest effort to get along with his mom. Luckily you’ll be dating HIM…and not his MOM! Meaning, you don’t have to LIKE his mom, in fact you may date many guys in the future that you don’t really like their mom or other family members…but you shouldn’t let that reason stop you from going out with them. And that also doesn’t give you any right to be rude or mean to their moms or family either.

So the fact that you don’t like her is not a big issue…If you like this guy you need to respect his mother, no matter how she treats you. You might not like her, but you need to make an effort to get along with her and show respect…even if she doesn’t reciprocate your effort. Because if you DON’T get along with his mom and this guy sees that you don’t like his mother or treat her kindly he is going to have a hard time liking you back. Think about if a guy started talking smack about your mom or saying he doesn’t like her….no matter how YOU feel about your mom, you are going to get protective and see this guy as being a real jerk.

So go ahead and ask him out! But don’t give his mom any reasons not to like you…do your best to show his mom the best side of yourself and hopefully as time goes on she will find more and more reasons to like you.

Katie

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“Dear Katie,

How do I use a period pad and how do I tell my mum I started my period ?

please help me!” ~Laura, 14

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Dear Laura,

It is no secret that all girls get their period. I know that it can be a bit embarassing to bring up to your mother, but she is probably anticipating you to get your period since you are 14 now. Thats the same age I was when I got mine. Getting your period is exciting because it means you are becoming a woman…plus you get tol start wearing a bra too if you haven’t already!

Anyway, when using a pad, just peel off the side parts and line it up to your panty and stick on to hold tight. The box the pads come in usually have great visual instructions. Make sure to change periodically through out the day, depending on how heavy your flow is.

But you definetly should tell your mom right away…and just act excited when you tell her. I’m sure she will be glad and all women have it too so it’s not like you are weird or anything for having it!

Hey Katie,

It’s me again and I wanted to ask you something. So my friend likes this boy, but then they had stopped talking for like a month. Now he wants to start talking to her again. He always does this too. Like they will talk for a while and everything, but they’re not really getting anywhere. How should she handle this?

Oh yeah and do you remember how I asked you about my ex boyfriend and how I should tell him that I like him again, but you told me to wait because he has a girlfriend. He keeps telling me to call him should I give him a call? ~ Mira

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Dear Mira,

Nice to hear from you again sweetie! Ok, so about your friend, you can tell her that is ok to keep talking to this guy…just cause its not “going anywhere” doesn’t mean that they can’t stay in touch and be friends. For now its probably best if she just keep it casual with him and if another guy comes along that she likes, she shouldn’t pass him up just because she likes this guy who sounds kinda flakey. So basically let her know not to pass up other opportunities to get to know other cool guys just because she kinda likes this guy. It’s ok to keep talking to this guy for now…just tell her not to get too attached to him if she were to meet someone else that she connects with.

And about your ex boyfriend, sure go ahead and give him a call, but if he still has a girlfriend keep it just friends. As soon as he wants to get flirtatious and more than friends, tell him that your flattered but that it is not ok for him to flirt with you when he has a girlfriend. If he asks you if you still like him, just say you have some feelings but that you don’t want to interfere with his current relationship.

xoxo

Hello Katie,

I often feel that I’m not good enough for my current boyfriend (whom I have been with for a little over a year now). He comes from a very intelligent family and is respectably intelligent himself.

Though I feel confident that I am intelligent and level-headed, it is obvious that my boyfriend is much more academically inclined than me. A lot of it has to do with how we were raised, as it was very different.

Now he is hinting at an engagement and my concern is that I am not the best person for him due to our intellectual differences. (Albeit everything else is very compatible.)

I’m not sure how to reconcile with this issue or feeling and have lately thought of taking some time apart to give him the opportunity to assess our capacity for happiness in light of our differences. I’m not quite sure what to do but now that the holidays are over and life is settling down, a discussion is in order.

Carol

Dear Carol,

When one person has more intelecutal intelligence than you, it can seem intimidating. But you have to remember that having book smarts is not everything, there are tons of stuff you are better at than him. But instead of trying to be just like him, or out do him in other areas to prove you are better, try to see it as you both having good qualities to bring to the relationship and that you can learn from each other.

It seems like you guys are on the same page and in-sink with all other aspects of the relationship. Is it only you that is bothered by the difference in intelligence, or is he? If it is just you, and he is ok with it, it may just be an insecurity of some sort on your part. So remember that you are a very intelligent person…i can tell by the way you write that you are intelligent, so just because he may know more about one subject does not make you any less worthy than him.

He is talking about marrage so he sees something in you that is of great value to him…there are qualities you have that are far more impacting to him than having the same intelligect. This is a good thing because it means he is not with you for what you know but for who you are. Having a special connection to someone who has a great heart and is fun to be with, is far greater quality than having book smarts. Explore that connection you have with him. You are bringing to him something that he loves. Be confident in your value.

xoxo

What should I do? Me and my friend called this guy and pranked called him saying that were this girl from school and pretended to ask him out, but he could tell it was us.

I kinda of pursaded her, well i think. but then anyway he called back like a week later playing the same trick on us but my friend’s sister answered it.

Then their dad found out and called this guy’s parents and eachother appoligeized. But now my friend lost her phone and cant go out for a while. And she is probaly mad at me so what should I do or tell her??? HELP!!”

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Dear Carley

You may just want to ask her if straight up if she is upset at you or not. She may not even be mad at all seeing how she participated in the call with you. But if she is, then just let her know you are sorry that she got in trouble for the call and that you didn’t mean for her to get into trouble…that’s really all you can do. It’s up to her whether or not she accepts your apology.

She is probably just not allowed to talk on the phone which is why you have not heard from her. So when you do talk to her just keep the conversation fun and happy and make a joke about it if you can…after all that was pretty funny that he did the same joke back to you guys. She will get over it as soon as she gets off of restriction!