Hey Katie,

I am in serious need of help. In science my friend was texting this guy and then he sent her a picture she asked me my opinion I said he was hot. That night he asked for my msn and she gave it to him and me and him were really getting along, but I think she started to get jealous (I didn’t like him and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me back)

Anyways, I got his number he got mine but then people started telling me she was saying stuff about me and then she stopped talking to me for a while. Soon after we were friends again but then she started telling people I was a slut. Then she got over telling everyone AND NOW SHES STARTING AGAIN BUT IT’S ABOUT A DIFFERENT GUY! What do I do?

Tanya, 15

Dear Tanya,

If guys like you better than your friend (as it seems they do from what you wrote) than there is a very good chance she is just jealous of you. When girls get jealous of another girl, they try to tear her down and make themselves look better by making her look worse. Your friend might be doing this to you. She is trying to make you look bad because she feels that it will make her feel better about herself and maybe guys will like her more than you. Instead of getting angry with her, you should feel bad for her that she has to do those kinds of things to her friend because she wants to feel better about herself. She is insecure and probably sees confidence in you that she wishes she had. Try and ignore her comments…I’m sure others can see through her motives too. She is most likely not doing it to be mean to you and make you feel bad, she is acting out of jealousy and feeling that she is in competition with you.

If you wanna continue your friendship with her, you can try to help her boost her own confidence and point out to her positive things about herself that she can focus. Like for example, “Wow, you are so good at talking with guys, I wish I was that comfortable with flirting”. This way, if she feels that there are some qualities she has that you don’t, she wont feel that she has keep tearing you down to feel better. She will find confidence without being at your expense.

However, you can also choose to not be friends with her anymore. If she continues this pattern of destructive rumors with your dating life, you may wanna reconsider why you are even friends with this girl. You may find that you are better off without her.

A friend is being a “not so good friend” she likes someone that I hate soooooo much and the person I hate is a Tom boy… lol

Please help what should I do with my friend cuz I really like her but i feel invisable to her…this is cuz the girl i hate is steeling her from me but I knew her since first grade, so I am not ready to lose her as a friend.        Vallarie

Dear Vallarie,

The best thing you can do if you want to still keep this friend is to continue to be a good friend to her. One way you can do this is by maybe try and see what your friend sees in this other girl. Maybe if you got to know her you would like her too.

But what ever you do don’t get angry at your friend, if she sees your negative attitude and jealous she will most likely be drawn away from you.

So continue to be a positive and fun friend to be around and there will be no reason why she will not continue to be your friend.

Good Luck!

Katie

Girl to Girl Talk

My friend and I have been friends for a long time now. We are like sisters. But sometimes she can be a real jerk to me. Like when we are with other friends. Which is almost all the time.

Everyone keeps saying that were like the movie mean girls and shes Regina and I’m Gretchin. I kinda agree too. But not in a good way. Idk… she makes me mad sometimes. I’m just starting to about have it with her and starting to get really mad at how rude and controlling and just mean shes getting with me and all our other friends.

She asked me to go to with her to the mall today but instead I made up a lie that I was grounded and my mom wanted me to stay home. Then I told her bye and she gave me a really snobby “im the victom” bye back.

What should i do about her? shes really getting on my nerves and i don’t have the guts to stand up to her! If I even tried to stand up to her, that would be the biggest accomplishment of my life.  ~Shaina

Dear Shaina,

Good friends look out for your interests. If she is making you feel victimized, you may want to look at the reason you have allowed her to treat you that way.

If you want to continue being friends you need to set boundaries with her… this can be done in a nice non-confronting way. Just let her know how you feel and that your not ok with the way she treats you sometimes.

Remind her that you also love her sweet side and that is what draws you to her as a friend.

Maybe because she is so close to you she was able to reveil that side of herself….but if she sees how you are affected by it and if she truely cares about you as a friend she will take note of her actions and be more aware of your feelings.

xoxo

Katie

How would you define a TRUE FRIEND?

Sometimes you think someone is your good friend and then they turn around and backstab you. How can you tell if one of your friends is truely your friend and will not do anything to hurt you? – Lexis

Dear Lexis,

Great question! A true friend is loyal, they have your best interest in mind when giving you advice. They are someone you trust and can depend on, you know when you need them they will be there…no questions asked.

It’s really hard to tell sometimes, esspecially in a new friendship, if they will betray you. The only true test is time. Over time your friendship and trust will build and get stronger.

In the meantime, what you CAN do is watch out for any signs like them lying to you or doing anything negative towards you purposely. And don’t worry too much about it, there will be plenty of friends that come and go in your life, not all people are going to be loyal friends to you.

A true friend can be hard to find, but when you find them remember how special true friendship is and hold on to them! They will most likely be a friend for life.

Katie

Dear Kate,

My Ex-boyfriend has no life so he has decided to invent tales about me that are not true, so what should I do?

It seems like everyone is asking me about it like they believe what they are hearing and I am having to constantly prove that the rumors are not true?

How can I get him to stop? Peace & Luv, Chloe

.

Dear Chloe,

The best thing you can do is let it go…

What this guy wants is for you to get upset and hurt over this, so don’t let him. The more energy and attention you give it the more you are giving this guy what he wants.

So just let it go and even make light of it and joke about it, that will probably piss him off more than anything because he is trying to get you to react…and when you don’t react the way he anticipated you would, he will be frustrated and annoyed.

xoxo