Hi Katie,

I like a guy, but he doesn’t know that “me” Daniella exists. But he has seen me in the hallway and we have made eye contact but I don’t know how to get his attention. What should I do???

Daniella, 15

Dear Daniella,

Start out by smiling and saying hi when you see him in the hall and make eye contact. Do this a few times, and if he hasn’t come talk to you yet, then start up a conversation with him. Ask him if he could show you where something is, or what time is it. After that you will see if he is interested if he continues to want to talk to you or if he initiates any other conversations later.

But definitely start by smiling at him. You will most likely not even have to approach him cause he will come to you if you seem interested and friendly. Also dress cute when you go to school. Spend a little more time with your hair and makeup, and pick out a nice cordinated outfit so that you look extra nice when you are trying to get his attention.

Hey Girl to Girl,

My problem is that a boy at school likes me but I like someone else. I did go out with him for a while but that was ages ago. Since then he has been out with other people but he still likes me and he keeps talking to my friends and saying how he feels. How can I tell him that I’m not interested?

Thanks,
Izzy, 13

Dear Izzy,

Tell him the way you would want a guy to tell you. It’s not always an easy thing to hear when you like someone and they don’t like you back. So be kind to him yet clear on where you stand with him. Say something like, “I’m glad we can be friends!” That way he gets the hint that you just wanna be friends and nothing more. You may even want to casually mention the guy you have a crush on so he knows you have moved on. However, don’t rub it in too much that you are over him, he has feelings too.

You can also mention to your friends that when he says stuff to them like that he still has feelings for you, that it is OK for them to let him down easy and tell him that you like someone else now and don’t feel the same way back.

Hey Katie,

Dear Katie,

I went to camp in the morning for five days. I was the only girl there. I mostly hung out with this one guy there, Lance. I like him more than a friend, but it’s not like I totally love him. When we are alone, everything goes fine and we are a little flirty with each other, but not too much. He knows that I like him because he asked me if I liked Arnold and I said “no, I kinda like you.” He said “oh, in that case…” then he put his arm around me. I kind of pushed it off because the way he said “oh” I could tell that he was just exaggerating, but did have feelings. We both smiled and laughed.

The problem is, he has a friend there named Roger who ALWAYS makes some comment about me being a girl. For example, he will come up to me and be like “I cannot get this ring throught the tybe, I’m sure that you can help me [the ring] since you have the tube. He always has a rude comment like that. Sometimes he will come up to me and say stuff like “Nikolas over there told me that he wants to super glue himself to you.” Lance knows he does stuff like. Lance knows that stuff he says is false, but he doesn’t really make an effort to stop it. Also, Lance was telling me how this girl Hannah gave him her number, so I got the hint. I gave him my number and said “feel free not to use it,” I was kidding and he laughed too so I know he knew too.

What should I do, I want to keep in touch with Lance after camp, but I don’t want to present myself as a slut. Roger isn’t that big of a concern, but how can I keep him out of the way so I’ve noticed lately that Roger has rubbed of on Lance because Lance said “if he keeps bothering you just hit him in the balls,” that Lance I was getting to know wouldn’t say something like that. I want Lance to know the real me, not “Roger’s version.”

Love,
Natalie, 13

Dear Natalie,

You’re not always going to like your crush’s or boyfriend’s friends. And quite frankly you don’t HAVE to. However, you must still be polite and kind to them. Especially because this guy is still just your crush. His friends are very influential people in his life and if they don’t like you than that can have a strong impact on whether a guy decides to date you or not. Now I’m not saying you have to let this guy treat you poorly, but you have to be the bigger person and not be rude back. It will just make his friend look like an idiot if he is being crude to you and you handle it well by not being mean in response.

You also mentioned that the guy you like can often act like his rude friend at times. Guys often act differently when they are with their guy friends. Especially ones like Rodger. Try to find some time when you can be with Lance WITHOUT Rodger there. Remember it is the guy you want to date, not his friend…so give him a chance to show you who he really is away from his friends.

Dear Katie,

So I really like this guy… I’m pretty sure this is a typical thing…I really really like this boy in my class, and everybody says he likes me. (Everybody as in my friends and others in my class that know I like him). We’ve kept in touch over the summer and e-mailed each other like everyday. (He’s even invited me to his house a few times.)

Anyway, all of a sudden all his calls and e-mails have just stopped coming. He only sends me like chain letters and one-worded answers to questions if I ask any. I really wanna talk to him again but I don’t wanna seem desperate and don’t know what to say in an e-mail or on the phone! I just wanna know whats going on. Plz help. Thanks a bunch!

~Alexis, 13

P.S He’s known I like him ever since the 5th grade, I’m in 7th.

Dear Alexis,

There are SO many reasons why a guy just stops talking to a girl all of a sudden. He may have lost interest, met someone else or got really busy with something else…the list goes on and on. There is no point in you trying to figure it out in your own head. You may never really know exactly why he got distant so suddenly.

The only way to know for sure is to ask him directly, otherwise you need to let it go and just chalk it up to the unknown. Don’t try and assume that you know exactly why or create some crazy scenarios in your head of what you THINK may have happened. This will only get you feeling even worse. You don’t know the reason so don’t pretend you do. And it probably has NOTHING to do with you. Don’t start blaming yourself or thinking it is something you did. 99% of the time it is something HE is going through and has nothing to do with you personally.

This sort of thing happens to girls all the time, believe it or not! Guys just don’t want to be the ones to tell a girl they changed their minds for whatever reason. They would rather just avoid making a girl feel bad.

The least you can do is just try to talk to him like you always have and feel out the situation. If he still continues to blow you off, your best off just taking the hint and walking away so that you can move on and meet new boys. Don’t waste your time with a guy who doesn’t reciprocate your interest.

Hi Katie,

How do you get over a crush that went wrong?

Madison, 13

Dear Madison,

When a crush goes wrong, it doesn’t matter who dumped who, it still hurts! So here are some tips on how to get over him fast!

Make The Break-up Clear! An unclear break-up can be very messy, rumor-filled, and confusing. Make it clear (don’t TXT message or phone break-up!) that you don’t want to see each other anymore. That way each of you knows that it is over for good.

Remember The Good Times You Had! Smile at cute photos, hug that teddy bear he won you at the fair. Remember that you DID like him, and even though its over now, your memories will last forever. And you learn from your mistakes.

Spend Time With Your Girlfriends! Now, don’t rant on and on about him to long when you’re with your friends. FORGET about him! Your life DOESN’T revolve around him! And your friends probably don’t want to talk about him all night. So take your mind off of the situation and have a little fun!

Talk To Someone You Trust. Your mom, your sister, your cousin or your bff. Just talk to someone about the break-up who you feel you can trust. Sometimes just venting your feeling helps!

Forget About Him! Don’t relive every argument, every rumor, and every tear.
Get Over Him Fast! Delete his phone number, email address, EVERYTHING! That way you don’t call him when you are lonely and then regret it!

Dear Katie,

I like this boy…a lot. He acts like he likes me…a lot. He walks me home from the bus a lot. He is shy. Not when he walks me home but when we are talking at school. I don’t know why.

I say hi to him and he says hi and then turns to talk to someone else. I do not know what is going on when he does that. But then he is so sweet when he walks me home. I don’t know if I should ask him out or if I should just let it stay a friendship. I don’t want it to get awkward between us, so I don’t know what to do.

Sarah, 13

Dear Sarah,

Some guys are just better one on one then when they are with a group of their friends or people. It sounds like he is more himself when he is just one on one with you walking home from the bus.
You wanna know if you should ask him out or not. I think it may be a little too soon to ask him out since you are not really sure of how he feels. If you do ask him out, just be prepared for if he doesn’t share your feelings. Like you said, things can get awkward, so wait a little longer to see if he shows any signs that he likes you back.

If I were you, I would remain friends and occasionlly flirt with him and hint at liking him and find reasons to hang out with him more. This would help set up opportunities for him to ask me out and for him to flirt back too if he likes me.

So suggest to him that you really wanna see a new movie playing or that you wanna learn a new video game he plays or something. See if he suggests you guys see the movie together or if he offers to teach you the game. This way you are not putting him on the spot by asking straight out if he likes you back. You are giving him a chance to show you that he is interested without having to come out and say it.

Hey Katie,

I really like this guy, but he is one of my best friends. So I finally got up the courage to tell him and he told me he doesn’t like me that way.

Now I feel awkward around him and I don’t know what to do! I feel like it was a huge mistake telling him because now we don’t even talk. What should I do?

Alli, 14

Dear Alli,

First, I would like to say that I think it was great that you had the courage to tell him how you feel! That takes a lot of confidence and courage. But now that he told you that he doesn’t share the same feelings you have to respect that. The only thing you can really do is accept his decision and try to continue as friends if that is what he wants too. Now that your feelings are out in the open, things between you can never go back to exactly how it was before. It’s different now, but that’s ok. Because before you secretly liked him and hoped he would like you back, and now you can stop wondering.

So try not to wish that everything would go back to how it was, because there is no way to go back in time…what happened, happened. If he doesn’t want to talk to you, you have to respect that and give him his space. Don’t force your friendship onto him…he is just as confused as you are right now. Think about it this way, if you had never said anything and then you would have never known his real feelings. You would look back and regret not telling him how you felt, and wonder if he would have felt the same. So that is great that you were able to overcome the fear of rejection and express your feelings.

Finding out the truth and knowing for sure is almost always better than not knowing and wondering what would have happened if you had only told him. So be glad that you don’t have to live with regret! And please try not to let this experience stop you from being open with your feelings next time you like a guy. Maybe the next guy will share your feelings and you will forget all about this one!

Hey Katie,

How do I make a guy like me? Or why don’t guys like me? They say I’m pretty but they don’t like me

Sally, 14

Dear Sally,

All you can do is be yourself. Don’t start acting like someone else, because he may start to lose interest. Guys like girls who are comfortable in their own skin and who are confident in who they are as a person (not just her own looks)

Boys might be looking at you while your not looking, so ask your friends if they ever see boys looking at you. They might just be too intimidated to approach you. If you know a boy thinks your pretty, try talking to him with a happy and positive attitude. Compliment him. Just like girls, boys also like to be complemented!

Boys love pretty and well dressed girls. So always try to look your best when you know you will see him. Most of all be confident! Boys love a girl bursting with high self esteem.

Hi Katie,

This guy likes me and I like him a little bit too, but he goes to a different school and lives two towns away from me. I haven’t seen him in two years, but we are really good friends on MSN.
I am planning to meet up with him again with a few friends of mine.

He knows I liked him before, but he doesn’t know I still do. He told me he has given up trying to get me to like him. I think this means he is trying to stop liking me (Correct me if I’m wrong).

I don’t know what I should do, because my friend says I should tell him that I still like him…I agree but if we go out I would never see him because he is so far away. What do you think I should do?

Thanks!

Becca, 14

Dear Becca,

I agree with your friend, you should tell him you still like him! Just because it can’t go anywhere right now doesn’t mean in the future you wont be able to date or live closer. You are 14 now, but in a couple of years you will be driving and two villages away wont seem like very far at all!

Think about it this way, if you don’t tell him, you are going to always wish you had and wonder what would have happened. So don’t worry about the distance or what will happen, just tell him that you still like him and go with the flow. You really never know what will happen or how it will turn out!

Hi Katie,

I’ve got a problem… a boy that I like asked me to go out two weeks ago, he said he was going to call me …but he didn’t , I don’t know if it’s because he’s shy, he forgot…or he just don’t want to see me.

What should I do? Remember him? But I think if he likes me he wouldn’t forgot , So I don’t know what to do.

Thank You!

Josefina, 15

.

Dear Josefina,

Sometimes it’s really hard to tell why a guy doesn’t call. It really can be a number of different reasons, like you suggested, maybe he is shy, or he forgot, or he might not really like you.

A lot of guys don’t feel comfortable talking on the phone or calling girls. To be honest they really don’t know what to say and nervous they will say the wrong thing. Even if a guy isn’t shy in social settings, he still might be apprehensive to call a girl because he gets nervous on the phone.

So give him the benefit of the doubt and call him if you have his number. It will break the ice and you will find out if he still wants to go out. When you call just be really positive and happy and don’t bring up the fact that he hasn’t called. Just suggest a fun activity or movie to see and ask if he wants to join you.

If he doesn’t want to go, then maybe he really was just politely avoiding you. But if he says yes and wants to hang out with you then he is definitely into you and was just shy about calling.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hi Katie,

Ok hey there is this guy named Nik that I really like and he has been really friendly with me and kinda flirty but my friend says he has a girlfriend. But I do not know if I believe her cause he flirts with me a lot.

So what should I do? Listen to my friend and stop flirting with him or keep doing what I’m doing and see if we go out?

Shanna, 14

Dear Shanna,

Well your friend says that Nik has a girlfriend but you are not sure whether to believe her or not because he flirts a lot with you. But that doesn’t necessarily mean your friend is not correct…there are lots of guys that have girlfriends who flirt with other girls, mainly because the girl they are with is not who they really want to be with.

If you like him, there is no harm in flirting back, but if you wanna be sure that he is single the way to find out is to ask him. This is also a great way to hint to him that you are interested, if you are asking him about his single status he will see that you are into him and he will see an opportunity to ask you out!

But be warned, that if he DOES have a girlfriend and he is flirting with you, he may not fess up to you and tell you the truth about his relationship. So if he says he is single and you are still doubting his answer, find out from some of his friends or people who know him at school. And ask your friend to give you more details of how she heard he has a boyfriend.

Hi Katie,

Well, I have never ever been good with “boys”. I’m just not that confident to be the one to approach them. Well there is this boy named Richardo. And he is a bad kid. I really like him. And well my friend says he likes me also.

But I’m just not sure how to start up a conversation. I’ve actually have been knowing him for around three years, but never talked in person other than hi and byes. Could you pretty please help me. (:

<3 Nelly, 14
xoxoxo

.

Dear Nelly,

Since guys are traditionally the ones that are supposed to make the first move and ask us girls out, it can be hard for the a girl to be the one to make the first move. Here are some tips about what you can do to initiate some conversation between you and your crush:

First, you should try to hang out in places where he hangs out. This could be at the mall, movies, or at the baseball field if he plays sports. But whatever you do, don’t stalk him, just subtly try to make yourself conveniently available to talk to him in person.

Next, take initiative to ask him out! You would be surprised by how many guys are too afraid to ask out a girl they’re interested in. They are just as shy as you! Take matters into your own hands. Walk up to him smiling and introduce yourself. You can say, “Hi Ricardo! I’ve seen you around but never got the chance to introduce myself, I’m Nelly!” Try not to bug him if he is really busy, but at the same time, don’t let the opportunity to talk to him pass you up just because you are nervous.

A great way to start conversation is to start small talk. Comment on something he’s wearing or saying something about the place or event you’re both at. Try to get him to feel comfortable around you. And keep a friendly positive attitude and smile a lot! It’s hard for anyone not to wanna keep talking to someone who is friendly and happy.

Next, start flirting with him! This can mean touching him lightly on the arm, for example, or laughing at his jokes. Just be playful and communicate that you’re interested. Compliment him! For example you could say something like, “I love your style!”

To keep the conversation rolling, ask him some questions about himself, like what he likes to do, what his favorite place to eat is, or if he likes to play sports. Try to see if you have anything in common with him. Now that you have found some stuff you both have in common, ask if he’d like to do it together sometime.

Also, here is a little tip on what NOT to do when asking a guy out. Don’t run up to him and say the words quickly. And defiantly DO NOT have a friend ask him out for you! Guys HATE that! It is embarrassing and they will think you are immature.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Dear Katie,

Ok. Me and this guy have been going out for a while now I think its appropriate for us to kiss. But I’ve never kissed a boy I don’t know how.

There are good kissers in the world and bad ones what one am I? And should I make the move or wait for him to? help me out please!!

~Kelly, 14

.

Dear Kelly,

Sounds like you are really curious and just want to experience your first kiss! I think you ARE ready to make the first move. And as far as the good kissers and bad kissers, I don’t think your either…how would anyone know until you’ve actually tried kissing!

So give yourself a break girl! You are still learning and it’s not fair to judge your kissing style that way. Plus with different guys you may kiss a little differently, depending on how they kiss. So one way of kissing is not necessarily “good” or “bad” its more about being able to kiss similar to the guy you are kissing.

You will find in time as you become more experienced that you will either like the way a guy is kissing or you wont, so pay attention to what the guys that you do like how they kiss are kissing and try to mimic them.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hi Katie,

Ok I went to a dance with this guy I like but then he had to leave early and then this other guy that was at the dance that I also like started dancing with me and from the looks of it, it looked like he likes me.

It’s been three days since then and he is always being so nice and flirty with me but I don’t know if he is just being friendly or is trying to give me a sign that he likes me. Please help.

~Shanna, 14

.

Dear Shanna,

He totally likes you! Guys are really nice and flirty only when they are into a girl. It is very probable that both guys actually like you!

Guys wont approach a girl and dance with her if they don’t think shes attractive. So sounds like the guy that is still flirting with you is REALLY into you…so maybe the question you should be asking now is:

Do You Like Him Back?!

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hey Katie,

First I want to say all the advice you have given is very helpful, Thanks so much! My question is, how to make out with a boy?

I’m too embarrassed to ask my mom, and my sister is in college. Please help!!!

~ Morgan

Dear Morgan,

Great question! It’s scary thinking about the first time you are going to kiss a guy or make out with him. Wondering what to do and hope you are doing it right. But here’s the thing…he is even MORE nervous than you! The pressure is really on him to kiss well…not you! So now that I have hopefully eased your nerves about it, here are some simple tips to help your first kiss go smoothly!

Once your lips touch keep your mouth slightly open, just as you would when you are popping a grape into your mouth. You don’t wanna open it too wide then it is like your trying to swallow his face or something…which is not very sexy! Then let him lead and you follow. Meaning let him move his lips and you just try to follow his lips. As you do it more you will get more comfortable with the way he kisses. All guys kiss differently so it can take several times of making out to get in sync with each other’s kiss.

And since you are just starting to make out and kiss guys, a great tip for you is LESS is MORE! Meaning that don’t try too hard at first. Like don’t use your tongue or start moving your lips all fast and hard. You are new to this so ease into it and let him do all the work, you just try to follow along with him.

“Hey Katie,

I’m having a problem with guys. There is one that likes me and I don’t know how I feel about him. And the other I like and he said he likes me too! But he just got back together with his ex-girlfriend.

Both of them are really sweet and the second guy (the one that just got back together with his ex) I’ve known since 6th grade. I’m so confused about my feelings and I don’t know what to do! The first guy called me last night asking if I wanted to go to a movie on Saturday and I said I had to get back to him about it.

But I don’t know what to do! I’m just so confused on my feelings! What do I do? How do I figure it out? And all together with that… How do I Get my dad to stop being so in my face. He won’t give me space! Any advice?”

Madison, 15

.

.

Dear Madison,

You should just date the first guy you are dating now. Don’t date the other guy that got back with his ex girlfriend. You don’t wanna get involved with him, he is working on his relationship with his ex girlfriend. The first guy asked you to them movies and is obviously interested in you, so go for him! He is definitely the better choice of the two.

And about your Dad, that is what Dads are best at! Sounds like he is all up in your business, but he really just cares. Sometimes Dads have a funny way of showing it though. Moms are more sensitive and loving, but Dads are usually less emotional and harsh when it comes to parenting, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. So just try to stay on his good side and try not to get into too much trouble, then he should back off a little.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hey,

My cousin who is not by blood is into me and I was into him at first but then I thought about it and how weird it was but he asked me out and I said yes and I don’t know why I was so confused my family doesn’t know anything about it luckily anyways that was a while ago he holds my hand now and again but we never talk about ‘us’ and so we haven’t broken up.

But we haven’t talked about it its so weird I’m starting to have feelings for him again we talk on msn because he moved and I don’t see him he has a girlfriend well he says he does and its so confusing should I break up with him or are we already broken up please I need heaps of help!

P.S. I cant tell my family

Jesse, 13

.

.

Dear Jesse,

I can see why you are confused, but it sounds like you guys are not together. He has another girlfriend now. So maybe he did like you at one time, but now he is with another girl so you need to respect that and not hold his hand anymore. And just cause you haven’t talked about it doesn’t necessarily mean you are still together. He may have never thought you were together in the first place.

I know it will be hard to just get over him cause you still have feelings, but I think it would be a good thing in the long run, because even though you are not blood related, he is still your cousin and things could get really messy if your parents found out. So next time you see him or talk to him just act as if you are friends, don’t flirt with him or kiss him or anything…that will only make your feelings for him grow stronger…plus you will be respecting his current relationship by not interfering with it.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“Hi Katie,

There is a guy that me and my friend like and he asked me out in front of her.. and I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend to go out with me.

My friend says hes a jerk for doing that and his girlfriend was friends with my friend and she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore and we’re all good friends. What should I do??”

~Zaiah

.

.

Dear Zaiah,

Well she is friends with the girl he broke up with, so I can see why she may think he is a jerk…plus she liked him and he asked YOU out instead…so of course she is not jumping for joy.

So try not to let her make you feel bad for dating him…as long as you are happy with him and he treats you well your friend will see that maybe he is an OK guy and start talking to him again. She is also probably looking out for you and doesn’t want him to do the same thing he did to her other friend, and dump you for someone else.

My advice to you is to proceed with caution with this guy, but be aware that your friend is just trying to be a friend to you and she may also be a little disappointed that he didn’t like her. So don’t be mad at her and when she doesn’t want to hang out or talk to this guy, try to understand her point of view and why she may not want to. When you hang out with her, just don’t bring him along or talk about him the whole time.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“A guy in my class likes me and he is asking all of these very personal questions what should I do? Tell him or ignore him?”

~Vanessa, 14

.

.

Dear Vanessa,

You definitely don’t need to tell him ANYTHING that you don’t want him to know. That is rude of him to ask you personal questions. And it’s OK for you to tell him that! Just say “your getting a little too personal don’t ya think?” You don’t have to be mean or rude, say it nice but firm. He might not realize he is being too personal, so don’t get mad at him, just help him see that his questions are inappropriate.

If he still doesn’t get it and continues, you can try ignoring him, but if that doesn’t work and he keeps bugging you…start asking him REALLY personal questions (in a funny way, not mean) and maybe he will realize how invasive his questions are and leave you alone.

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“”I like this guy in all of my classes. But every single friend I have hates him. And people say he likes one of my friends who especially hates him. We talk a lot, and yesterday we were in a computer lab and he was next to me, and we were sitting really close because he was on my computer.

We were playing a game, and two guys came to us and were like, ‘Dude, you’re hitting on her!’ And he looked at them, then at me and didn’t say anything. I’ll look at him, then he’ll turn around to look at me. He helps me when I pretend not to understand things, and we have real conversations,We talk a lot, and even though were only in 8th grade, I think we could make a relationship work.

I want to get his number but I’m not sure how. Should I even try or not?”

~Taylor, 13

.

.

Dear Taylor,

Sounds like you may want to get to know him better and hang out with him (away from your friends) in order to get to know him a better. Because then you will be able to see if your friends are just being judgemental or if there is a reason that they don’t all like him. Try not to pay attention to your friends not liking him…if you like him that is what really maters. (unless they hate him because he is mean to them, then you may want to look into why your friends feel the way they do, they might be warning you about him). But that doesn’t really sound like the case….I will leave that up to you to judge for yourself.

And about exchanging numbers…If you get his number…just stay FRIENDS for a while…don’t rush into any type of relationship or anything. You are thinking too far ahead about having a working relationship with him because you are still getting to know this guy. A relationship will happen in time if you and him end up both really liking each other. Plus what if you get to know him better and don’t really like him…it will be much easier to stop hanging out with him if you are just FRIENDS.

Being friends first will also make it MUCH easier for you to get his number and get to know him better because you are just hanging out as FRIENDS. Plus you could always give him your number if you are afraid to ask him for his. And when you get his number or give him yours have a reason to do so. For example if you guys were going to his house to play video games or something that he would do with a FRIEND it wont be awkward to exchange numbers.

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“Hi Katie,
I mega like this guy and he will flirt but then when he is with his friends he acts like nothing happened. We have gone out before and it went really but he dumped me because he didn’t want a girlfriend over Christmas! grrr anyway…..

He likes my best friend and I have tried everything I can think of to get his attention, got any ideas??? Even his best friend has tired to convince him!! Should I just give up and take it he doesn’t like me???”

Laura, 13

.

.

Dear Laura,

Sounds like you should move on. You can’t really MAKE anyone like you…and it sounds like he is not really worth your time and effort of trying to make him like you. You say he flirted with you and then acted like nothing happened…do you think you may have mistaken friendliness with flirting? This is common sometimes and can make it seem more complicated than it really is.

You also say that he likes you best mayte…then why are you trying to get his attention? Sounds like he is into your friend not you…so do yourself a favor and let him go. I’m sure there are other guys out there who would love to have you as a girlfriend….and those are the guys you want to put that kinda effort into! Trust me girl, it is no fun putting all that effort into someone who doesn’t appreciate it or want to return the same effort or feelings…it will only make you feel frustrated and sad.

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“So I really really like this guy and I just met him like a month ago. He seems like Mr. Perfect and we talk to each other a lot but he goes to another school and me and his mom don’t really like each other. But I really want to ask him out what do I do?”

~ Liza, 16

.
.

Dear Liza,

If you really like this guy, like you say you do, you should make an honest effort to get along with his mom. Luckily you’ll be dating HIM…and not his MOM! Meaning, you don’t have to LIKE his mom, in fact you may date many guys in the future that you don’t really like their mom or other family members…but you shouldn’t let that reason stop you from going out with them. And that also doesn’t give you any right to be rude or mean to their moms or family either.

So the fact that you don’t like her is not a big issue…If you like this guy you need to respect his mother, no matter how she treats you. You might not like her, but you need to make an effort to get along with her and show respect…even if she doesn’t reciprocate your effort. Because if you DON’T get along with his mom and this guy sees that you don’t like his mother or treat her kindly he is going to have a hard time liking you back. Think about if a guy started talking smack about your mom or saying he doesn’t like her….no matter how YOU feel about your mom, you are going to get protective and see this guy as being a real jerk.

So go ahead and ask him out! But don’t give his mom any reasons not to like you…do your best to show his mom the best side of yourself and hopefully as time goes on she will find more and more reasons to like you.

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“Hi Katie,

Well I randomly came across your video yesterday. You seem really nice so I hope you can help me out with this.

Anyways I’ve bassically known this guy for about three years. We’re not exactly friends but we talk sometimes. He’s not exactly the best looking guy and a lot of the girls think he’s pretty dorky. He’s been turned down by every girl he’s ever asked out. Well for the entire time I’ve known him I’ve always just considered him a nice guy and nothing more. I couldn’t really picture myself ever being in a relationship with him.

The past two months though something has definately changed between us. I don’t really know when it happened but one day we just started having a conversation and I guess after that we just kept talking. I never really payed that much attention to him before, I always thought he was kind of plain but after talking to him I’ve begun to realize we have tons of things in common. We share the same interests, the same religious beliefs.

This guy is just charming, funny, can hold a decent conversation and extremely well mannered and he treats me with complete respect. He’s a guy that’s not afraid to stand out from the crowd. These are qualities that I deffinately like in a guy. Well ever since we’ve gotten close alot of people keep telling me the guy likes me and teasing me about how weird it would be if I liked him back. They think he’s not my type. When they bug me about it I just laugh it off but honestly I think I’m really falling hard for this guy.

So I really want to let him know how I feel about him but at the same time there’s this huge part of me that’s just scared about what everyone else might say. Do you think I should let him know or just remain friends with him.”

~ Rose, 18

.
.

Dear Rose,

You should DEFINETLY let him know how you feel! Don’t let other people control who you DO and DON’T date. People are always going to judge you for what you do….like if you DON’T date him, people are going to think its cause your shallow and you didn’t date him because of his looks. And if you DO date him, people might think its ‘weird” or whatever. It’s really a lose lose situation!

So do what makes you happy….your friends are not the ones that are dating him…your are! If you decide to date him and not let your friends make up your mind for you….they will eventually get over it support your decision if they are true friends. Maybe if they got to know him better too they will see why you like him so much.

In highschool, I had a very similar situation. This guy liked me for a LONG time, and I wasn’t really attracted to him. I was afraid of what people would think! But we had a connection and I decided to go out with him anyway, and tried to ignore my friends comments. It was funny how after like a week or so they stopped making the comments and they really started to see why I liked him. I am really glad that I decided to date him cause he was a great boyfriend and treated my like a princess. He taught me how a real boyfriend should treat a girl and a learned how to have a healthy happy relationship.

If you find a TRUE connection with a guy, it is truely is RARE…so hold onto it…don’t let other people hold you back from having happiness in your own life!

xoxo

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“I really like this boy but I don’t no how to get closer to him without going too far and we’ve been going out for three months. What should I do?”
~ Alexandria, 14

.
.

Dear Alexandria,

This is a great question! You may be confusing closeness with intimacy. Physical closeness does always transfer into emotional closeness. I think you want to get closer to him emotionally and are seeing going further physically is the only way to achieve that. But that is not what will happen. If you are not ready to go further….which by how you are talking I get the idea that you are not ready to go “too far” with him…you should definitely find other ways besides physical to get closer to your boyfriend.

You can get closer many other ways such as by talking more and sharing deeper stories. Talk about childhood stories and future goals. Talk about what you think love is and your views on life. Spend more time together and hang out one on one. Share your feelings for him. All of these things will bring you guys closer without having to go further physically.

A lot of times at your age, (and even at my age, 25!) guys will try to pressure you into thinking that sex is the next step of your relationship and they almost expect a girl to be ready after a few short months. If this is the case, and he is pressuring you and making you feel that that is the only way to get closer to him, then that is not cool and you should definitely not do it. Think about it this way…no girl ever pressures a guy into having sex to get “closer” to her. Girls just don’t view closeness this way…like I mentioned earlier, we see closeness as being emotionally connected with someone…not physically!

If you feel that you are being pressured into going too far with him….trust your instincts and don’t do it. Because if you do end up going further than you are comfortable with, you will only end up feeling further away from him…NOT closer!

xoxo

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Dear Katie,

I met this wonderful guy! His name is Cade, and we have so much in common. We are good friends, but I am madly in love with him. I want to ask him out on a date, but can’t come up with any good plans for one. Do you have any ideas that wouldn’t be too akward? Please answer ASAP!

xoxo Emily, 11

.

Dear Emily,

Great question! Here are some fun and cool ideas for dates that would be fun for you and Cade:

~If he plays sports go to one of his games and cheer him on!

~Go out to icecream together! Everyone loves ice cream, he wont be able to resist this sweet treat!

~ Go to the arcade! Games are always fun to play with a guy. If there is not an arcade where you live, ask him if he has any video games at his house and tell him you want play one and have him teach you to play it.

~ Bowling is always fun. You can bring some friends along too so that it is not too awkward if you are too shy to be one on one with him.

~ If you have a public pool or community pool somewhere near by you…invite him to go for a swim! It would be a fun way to get some sun and flirt a little too! (Not sure where you are located though…it might be too cold where you are)

~ Go to the Mall! You can cruse around the mall together and grab a sandwich or smoothie together.

~ Movies are always fun…especially if you are unsure of what to talk about for several hours…you don’t have to do much talking, just watch the movie and enjoy each others company.

xoxo

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hi!

I met a boy at work, I really really liked him…when the summer job finished I did not see him again until a few weeks ago in a library, I saw him like four times and he always talks to me for a long while …in one of the conversations I recommended him a book, I said I was going to take it to the library, but didn’t see him again.

A few weeks later he wrote an email and said he would have liked to read that book, so i told him that I was going to the library those days, and asked him to tell me if he was going…but he did not answer.

I really like this guy, I’m thinking about asking him out…but wanna know but he didn’t replied, he is quite distracted…I don’t know what to do…I’d really thank some advice. Thnx”

~ Josefina

.

Dear Josefina,

He emailed you about the book, so it sounds like he wanted to keep in contact with you. He could have easily just rented the book from the library without emailing you telling you he would have liked to read it.

Maybe he just doesn’t like hanging out in the library… you should suggest something outside of the library to do. Like mention a cool new movie and see if he wants to go see it or something.

xoxo

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“Hi Katie,

What do I do If I have a boyfriend that I like a lot, but also have an exboyfriend that I still like a lot?

Please write back :] thanks!!!!!!!”

~ Elizabeth, 13

.

Dear Elizabeth,

Liking two guys at the same time is a good problem to have, lol! But it can be complicated. It happens a lot to people because they like one guy and connect with him but then they meet another guy they really connect with too! This is why people (guys and girls) end up cheating. Because they couldn’t make a choice to be with the person they are with…and end up liking two guys at once.

In your case here is what you should do. If you like them both the SAME…give your current boyfriend a chance and try to forget about your ex. Sometimes girls reminess about their past relationship and all the good times and start to remember why they liked that guy…they seem to forget about the reasons why they broke up. So remember that ex’s are ex’s for a reason, and you should try to remember why didn’t work out before, ask yourself why it might work a second time with him?

So here’s the thing, I’m sure you already know, but you need to make a decision. Decide which guy to like and put 100% effort into HIM. You said you really like your current boyfriend so stay with him and if it doesn’t work out you can always date your ex again!

xoxo

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

“Hi Katie,

“I like this guy and his friends have asked him if he likes me and he says a little bit, yeah…But before they did when I texted him asking if he liked this other girl he is like a little bit and he kinda still likes me.

He says he doesn’t know who to date but he is leaning towards going out with her first because we will see each other more during lacrosse..And I told him I wasn’t going to just wait for him…and he said he doesn’t know for sure yet.

Then when I told my bff (whose a guy) like almost a week after it about it he asked him if he actually did like this girl and he said no..But my friend asked him like maybe a week after it all…So I don’t know!? This guy is also like really shy and acts so different around just me then he does when were with other people. My two girl bff’s say he is scared cause he has never had a girlfriend but I don’t know what to do..

Today in study hall he asked me if I was going to his game in Watertown at like noon. But I told him maybe and he said ok..But he like always stares at me and flirts(??),and punches me(that is good),I just don’t know for sure if he likes me or what…I really need help!!!”

~ Zendel, 13

.

Dear Zendel,

Sounds like he likes you but doesn’t really know how to show it. Some guys can get really awkward when they are around girls they like and send mixed signals like this guy is doing to you. He asked you to come watch his game, so he is making some effort. Plus you say he is flirting with you.

So maybe try not asking him so directly “Do you like me?” Cause that is a blunt question that is hard for anyone to answer with out feeling really vulnerable after…ya know what I mean?! Like if a guy asked you, “Do you like me?” Would you be able to flat out say “Yes!’ even if you did really like him? I know I wouldn’t give a straight answer.

You should just keep hanging out with him, and when he invites you to go do something with him, GO! See where it leads, maybe once he gets to know you more he will open up more and not be so shy.

xoxo

Katie

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Dear Katie,

There is this boy named Austin and he is so sweet and we have hugged before but his bff hates me and I like Austin and I don’t know if he likes me, what should I do??

~ Morgan, 13

.

Dear Morgan,

Well if you like Austin you should try to get along with his bff. If his best friend doesn’t like you, he may try to talk Austin into not liking you. So be nice to his bff and try to get on his good side. So be sweet and nice when you are around him…have you ever heard of the saying “kill him with kindness” ? Well it really does work! When you are being really nice (in a sincere way) it’s really hard for anyone to stay mad at you or not like you.

But overall, if you really like this guy and still can’t win his friend over, I guess it doesn’t really matter cause it’s Austin that you wanna date, not his friend! Just let Austin see that you are making an effort to get along with his friend, and will only make you look like a better person.

xoxo

.


Click Here For More Advice for Teens!

Hi, I don’t know how to get close to this guy. You see, we only get to see each other twice a week, in an after-school learning program…whenever he finishes his work, he goes over to me and we talk (or rather, whisper) about nothing in particular, until one of us has to leave.

Problem is, I hardly see him otherwise, and my mother is the chief instructor in the center, so no flirting. lol! I like him, but do you think he likes me? (I looked up from my table once and I saw him looking at me; he winked).

Should I ask for his cellphone number? Or should I wait until he asks me for mine?…” ~Sakura

.

Dear Sakura,

Good question! Sometimes it is hard to tell if you should wait for him to ask for your number or if you should ask him for his. He may not have asked you for your number yet because your mother is there and he doesn’t want to make you feel awkward.

So if I were you I would do one of two things. You can think of something to do together outside of the program, like talk about a cool movie that is playing in the theater and if he seems like he is interested suggest going to see it together. Then you guys will have to exchange numbers.

Or you could just straight out offer your number to him, like when you guys are chatting at the end of the learning program just say “hey I have a lot of fun chatting with you, here is my cell number, we should hang out some time”. If you sound confident and are sure of yourself he will definetly take you up on your offer.

You asked if he likes you or not…it is kinda hard to tell just from the info you gave me, but you will know once you hang out with him one on one outside of the learning program how he acts around you. If you do give him your number and he calls you and wants to spend time with you that is a good sign that he likes you.

But if he doesn’t pursue you right away that doesn’t always mean that he doesn’t like you. Some guys can be kinda shy or play hard to get when it comes to girls they have a crush on, so feel it out and just be yourself with him, thats all you can do, the rest is up to him.

xoxo

.

Click Here For More Advice for Teens!