Hi Katie,

I really like this boy who is 14 and I’m not sure how to get him to ask me out. He admits that he likes me and that he WOULD go out with me. He’s single now and he calls me everyday and we talk for at least an hour. We also text and email.

The problem is that I haven’t had a boyfriend before and he has had several girlfriends. The other problem is that he seems to also like other girls and so what should I do? He is one of my best friends and he even calls me babe and sexy and he calls us friends with benefits.

Paloa, 13

Dear Paola,

Sounds like this guy is into you, but he may not wanna commit to one girl. It’s not necessarily a bad thing that he has been in other relationships and you haven’t. But it’s not a good thing that he says your his friend with benefits. Sounds like he wants all the benefits that comes with having a girlfriend, but without all the commitment and responsibility of an actual relationship. Maybe his past relationships were a lot of drama so he is afraid to get into one again.
Don’t let him take advantage of you…don’t give him any of the “benefits” if he wants to see other girls, say that you wouldn’t feel right about it and that you want a guy that wants to be with you and no one else. If he sees that you have respect for yourself, he will in turn have more respect for you and value what you have to offer him as a potential girlfriend.

Dear Katie,

I really want to get over this boy. We’ve never gone out but we’ve liked each other for a while. He went out with a few other girls and kind of forgot about me. Then he started flirting with me and he sent a email that said,”I think your awesome” I don’t know if he’s starting to like me again?

Mackenzie, 13

When you are friends with a guy and you both kinda like each other, sometimes it is hard for one another to be sure that the other likes them back. For example, in your case, you say you have liked each other for a while but never actually gone out. He may have thought that you didn’t like him back as much as he liked you so he gave up and dated some other girls. But now he is realizing he still likes you.

You say you want to get over him, but it sounds like you still like him…you only want to get over him because you think that he is being a player. Before you assume that he is just a player, my suggestion would be to be more flirtatious and open with him about how much you like him so that he knows his feelings are reciprocated.

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to confess your love or anything, just make him see that you are interested and are into him too!

Hey Katie,

So me and this guy have been talking for about three weeks. He has a reputation for playing girls, but as always, I didn’t listen to any of the things people were telling me.

In school he and I always hang out together and a lot of people think he is my boyfriend cause they see us together, but he is not. Last night I went on his Myspace page and saw that he was talking to some other girl on the phone that night. He also never called me last night because he was talking to the other girl on the phone.

This isn’t the first time that he’s done something like this. I realize that I’m not his girlfriend but it still bothers me when he talks to other girls especially since he’s always saying how special and important I am to him. So my question is am I over-reacting or should it be bothering me? And what do I do about it?

Chelsea, 15

Dear Chelsea,

There is really not much you can do about him talking to other girls since you are not his girlfriend. You are still getting to know each other and it is probably not a good idea to say anything about it to him at this point. I think what is bothering you most is what other people are saying about him. You hear people talk about him being a player, and it seems like although you don’t want them to be right, part of you is just waiting for them to be right and for him to “play” you.

Stop looking at his myspace. When you only see partial conversations things can be extremely misinterpreted. I have guy friends that say stuff to me sometimes that if my boyfriend read he could easily get jealous and assume it meant something else when it means absolutely nothing. You are going to drive yourself crazy by going on his Myspace and looking at the girls he is talking to and their conversations. You are not seeing the whole picture and are assuming that he is having flirty conversations with other girls and it only upsetting you.

Since it sounds like you want to have more with him, just give him the opportunity to show you that he is into you and get to know him better. If you show him a jealous side of yourself right from the start and get upset that he is talking to other girls, he is going to get scared away and think that you are a jealous girl…no guy likes that because he will think that it will only get worse if you are actually his girlfriend.

Hi Katie,

This guy likes me and I like him a little bit too, but he goes to a different school and lives two towns away from me. I haven’t seen him in two years, but we are really good friends on MSN.
I am planning to meet up with him again with a few friends of mine.

He knows I liked him before, but he doesn’t know I still do. He told me he has given up trying to get me to like him. I think this means he is trying to stop liking me (Correct me if I’m wrong).

I don’t know what I should do, because my friend says I should tell him that I still like him…I agree but if we go out I would never see him because he is so far away. What do you think I should do?

Thanks!

Becca, 14

Dear Becca,

I agree with your friend, you should tell him you still like him! Just because it can’t go anywhere right now doesn’t mean in the future you wont be able to date or live closer. You are 14 now, but in a couple of years you will be driving and two villages away wont seem like very far at all!

Think about it this way, if you don’t tell him, you are going to always wish you had and wonder what would have happened. So don’t worry about the distance or what will happen, just tell him that you still like him and go with the flow. You really never know what will happen or how it will turn out!

Hi Katie,

Me and this guy both like each other and we want to go out but my bestfriend doesn’t want me to… she should be more understanding but the thing is she likes him too!

What should I do? Who should I pick, bestfriend or boyfriend?

~Zaiah, 13

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Dear Zaiah,

Well thats not really cool of your bestfriend to put you in that situation to where you would have to chose between her or him.

If the guy is obviously into you and not your friend, then there is really no reason for you not to date him. Just because your friend is jealous and disappointed that he doesn’t like her is not a good enough reason to not date him. If she is truley your best friend she will want what is best for you and what makes you happy.

Give her a week or two and she will get over it…she just got her ego hurt a little! So try not to rub it in that he picked you and not her. Be understanding and try to remember she just got rejected.

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“Hi Katie,

What do I do If I have a boyfriend that I like a lot, but also have an exboyfriend that I still like a lot?

Please write back :] thanks!!!!!!!”

~ Elizabeth, 13

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Dear Elizabeth,

Liking two guys at the same time is a good problem to have, lol! But it can be complicated. It happens a lot to people because they like one guy and connect with him but then they meet another guy they really connect with too! This is why people (guys and girls) end up cheating. Because they couldn’t make a choice to be with the person they are with…and end up liking two guys at once.

In your case here is what you should do. If you like them both the SAME…give your current boyfriend a chance and try to forget about your ex. Sometimes girls reminess about their past relationship and all the good times and start to remember why they liked that guy…they seem to forget about the reasons why they broke up. So remember that ex’s are ex’s for a reason, and you should try to remember why didn’t work out before, ask yourself why it might work a second time with him?

So here’s the thing, I’m sure you already know, but you need to make a decision. Decide which guy to like and put 100% effort into HIM. You said you really like your current boyfriend so stay with him and if it doesn’t work out you can always date your ex again!

xoxo

Katie

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Hi, I’m worried for my friend because she is only 15 and her boyfriend is 17-18? And he got his last girlfriend pregnant. I don’t understand why he’s interested in someone so young.

I don’t want to tell my friend what to do though or have her get mad at me for saying something. It’s also kind of weird talking to her on that level. I just don’t want the same thing happening to her.

~Corinne

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Dear Corinne,

I totally understand your concern for your friend. However, it is fairly common for guys to date girls a couple of years younger than them because girls tend to mature faster than guys, so don’t worry too much about why he is dating her.

So anyway, if you talk to your friend about this, just let her know your concerns with out putting her or her guy down. Like how you told me…just say because of what happened with his last girlfriend you are just concerned and don’t want to see her in that same predicament. If you approach the subject being a concerned friend that cares, there is no way she can get mad at you.

And if she doesn’t want to listen to your advice, thats OK…she is in control of her own life and can make her own decisions. Sometimes friends don’t make the best choices in life, but that doesn’t mean to stop being friends with them or put them down. Just stay a good friend like you are being and try to help when you can, and when it is out of your hands, just be there for her.

Plus, one way to look at it is since he already got his last girlfriend pregnant he is probably going to be A LOT more cautious now about getting any other girls pregnant! LOL!

xoxo

Katie

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“Hi Katie,

“I like this guy and his friends have asked him if he likes me and he says a little bit, yeah…But before they did when I texted him asking if he liked this other girl he is like a little bit and he kinda still likes me.

He says he doesn’t know who to date but he is leaning towards going out with her first because we will see each other more during lacrosse..And I told him I wasn’t going to just wait for him…and he said he doesn’t know for sure yet.

Then when I told my bff (whose a guy) like almost a week after it about it he asked him if he actually did like this girl and he said no..But my friend asked him like maybe a week after it all…So I don’t know!? This guy is also like really shy and acts so different around just me then he does when were with other people. My two girl bff’s say he is scared cause he has never had a girlfriend but I don’t know what to do..

Today in study hall he asked me if I was going to his game in Watertown at like noon. But I told him maybe and he said ok..But he like always stares at me and flirts(??),and punches me(that is good),I just don’t know for sure if he likes me or what…I really need help!!!”

~ Zendel, 13

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Dear Zendel,

Sounds like he likes you but doesn’t really know how to show it. Some guys can get really awkward when they are around girls they like and send mixed signals like this guy is doing to you. He asked you to come watch his game, so he is making some effort. Plus you say he is flirting with you.

So maybe try not asking him so directly “Do you like me?” Cause that is a blunt question that is hard for anyone to answer with out feeling really vulnerable after…ya know what I mean?! Like if a guy asked you, “Do you like me?” Would you be able to flat out say “Yes!’ even if you did really like him? I know I wouldn’t give a straight answer.

You should just keep hanging out with him, and when he invites you to go do something with him, GO! See where it leads, maybe once he gets to know you more he will open up more and not be so shy.

xoxo

Katie

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Dear Katie,

There is this boy named Austin and he is so sweet and we have hugged before but his bff hates me and I like Austin and I don’t know if he likes me, what should I do??

~ Morgan, 13

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Dear Morgan,

Well if you like Austin you should try to get along with his bff. If his best friend doesn’t like you, he may try to talk Austin into not liking you. So be nice to his bff and try to get on his good side. So be sweet and nice when you are around him…have you ever heard of the saying “kill him with kindness” ? Well it really does work! When you are being really nice (in a sincere way) it’s really hard for anyone to stay mad at you or not like you.

But overall, if you really like this guy and still can’t win his friend over, I guess it doesn’t really matter cause it’s Austin that you wanna date, not his friend! Just let Austin see that you are making an effort to get along with his friend, and will only make you look like a better person.

xoxo

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