Hi Katie,

“I met this guy in 2005, when I was undergoing chemo & having numerous operations. I did, not really want the involvement of a relationship at the time & I felt weighed down by him so I ended it. In October 2008, we met up again we’ve been out a few times for drinks and pub lunches, but nothing more, because of the way I treated him last time I felt I needed to make an effort this time, so I invited him over to my home, for tea and drinks.

I sent him really nice texts to say I enjoyed his company and drinks, and would he like to do it again next week, I got no response, he stayed overnight over Christmas, and the relationship furthered. There was no fireworks on my side, in fact nothing, afterwards he asked me if I enjoyed it, this left me wondering what I was doing.

He makes me feel like he wants me to chase him, but gives nothing back, he texts me once or twice a day, just to tell me about work, and his family, I’ve tried to finish it, but he said he would change, by ringing me, but still the conversations are about work. He never asks or tells me that we are going out, he waits for me to do all the work.

I feel the relationship is doomed before it starts, also when I talk to him on the phone or face to face he has this irritating laugh that interrupts the conversation, he says it’s a nervous laugh, he is getting on my nerves and I’m finding the situation boring, how do I end this without tears, from him, please help”
~Angel

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Dear Angel,

It definetly sounds like you are not into this guy and there are no sparks. Since you are doing all of the work and calling him and making effort to hang out, then stop making the effort and see what happens. He might just drop it to and not pursue you further. But if he does start pursing you now that you stop (which is very likely) you may want to tell him you are just looking for friends right now.

I know that line is used a lot, but just use yourself as an excuse and tell him that with everything going on in your life you are not ready to be in a relationship or date right now. But try not to explain too much or go into too much detail….keep it short and sweet and be matter-of-fact about it so there is no room for him to doubt or question your decision. Let him know you want to be just friends and stand by your decision.

I have found that overall the best way to reject a guy is not to tell them about all their imperfections and make them see how bad they are for you (because they won’t change anyway) but to tell them that you are not ready to be in a relationship or date right now. It’s perfectly fine if you don’t like him, there is obviously no chemistry and he probably wont be too surprised. I’m sure he is sensing that you are not that into him.

xoxo

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I don’t want to break up with him just yet, I need to advice on how I should approach our issue?   I’m almost 17 and my boyfriend and I have been on again off again for almost a year now. He came over a month ago and my mom got mad because she was concerned that he was using me. Then, once again he left! I think that I love him a lot.. But it has now been over a month since we have seen each other!

Since last Wednesday our communication just stopped. I emailed him a lot over the past weekend and I do feel like I shouldn’t have! He finally responded me saying; that he was sorry that he didn’t write back, but I have to calm down. He said he was occupied at work and working out at the Gym. He said that I have to stop being so obsessive, and that his phone is getting fixed. (Sounds like a lot of excuses) But he’s sorry that he didn’t respond and said we’ll talk soon.

It’s been over a week since we’ve had an actual phone conversation and I feel so hurt. He did tell me previously that he loves me. I sent him back an email last Sunday that I was sorry and I’ll give him space. I want this to work out with him and I’m a very patient person, but I feel like my patience is running out.

I need your help please!! I want to call him and try to get him to work things out face to face. However, how do I tell him that over the phone?

I need your help how to approach this. Please help me!!

Thank you.  Mica

Dear Mica,

I honestly have to say that you should move on…this guy just doesn’t seem like he is that into you anymore.

You should find a guy who is emotionally and physically available for you and who wants to put forth effort to see you and call you and not make you wonder if he is still into you or not.

Sometimes we want what we cant have, and I think this may be a classic case of this. I don’t think you really love him, I think you just really desire him because he is inaccessable to you.

I have been there too, and its a lot easier said then done, but the best thing you can do is let this guy go and over time you will eventually forget about him.

Good luck sweetie!

xoxo

My boyfriend is really sweet but I kinda just want to be single and see other people.  I really like him and i dunno if he likes me back but i think he does coz he keeps kissing me all the time but sometimes i just wanna be free what do i do?                      ~ Shanin

Dear Shanin,

If you really want to be free, talk to your boyfriend about taking a break to see how you feel when you are not with him.

This will give you some time to get clarity on the whole situation and you will see if you do still have feelings for your boyfriend, or if it is time to move on.

You may realize that you do still really like your boyfriend and that you want to continue to see him….or on the other hand you may realize that there are other guys that fullfill your needs better and have a stronger connection with.

So I think it is always good to be true to yourself and explore all of your options and date different types of guys to see who you really mesh best with. Why settle for good when you can have GREAT!?

Good Luck Hun!

Katie