Hello Katie,

Hey, so I need boy advice. I am a really happy, caring, funny and a kind person at least that’s what my friends tell me. And I get along with all of the girls in my grade (I go to an all-girl school) but the thing is I feel like boys don’t like me. I used to go to a co-ed school but then I just went to an all-girl one and yes it is hard to find boys but I still have guy friends.

Even though I do have guy friends, I feel like they actually don’t like me that much and I know that they don’t like me as more than a friend, and I try to seem appealing to them but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I know that I’m a good person, but I don’t think I’m pretty and I think that I’m kind of fat. What can I do to seem more appealing to guys? (this summer I am going to try and lose weight)

Hannah, 16

Dear Hannah,

It’s great that you are aware of your good qualities such as that you are funny, happy, caring, and kind. These qualities are very special and can be rare sometimes. I think the guys you are friends with right now are just not mature enough to see past your outer image. However, I do think you should continue to set goals for yourself to start eating healthier and exercising regularly. This will help your outside appearance match your inner beauty.

I can tell that you are confident in the inner qualities that you have and others will definitely see your confidence and feel good when they are around you. I have met people that are not extremely attractive on the outside but once I have gotten to know them and seen how kind and sweet they were, they actually became more attractive to me because they had such a great inner beauty. So keep embracing your inner qualities as you work on your outside appearance.

In the meantime, take a look at the beauty section, there are lots of great tips for makeup and beauty! So make sure that you are following all of the tips in order to look your best!

Dear Katie,

Have you ever had a crush who liked you back, but did not give you full attention?
You see… I have always been second best no matter how beautiful I looked or acted when it came to boys! How do I bump up from number two to one?

Lacey, 13

Dear Lacey,

It starts with your own self confidence. What you think about yourself. Because right now, you are not thinking very highly of yourself. You have to BELIEVE you are number one. If you are always walking around thinking you are number two, guys are going to sense that. There is nothing sexier than a girl who is confident…and if you wanna increase your confidence here are some things you can try.

Remind yourself out loud how beautiful you are every day…Say “I’m Confident!” “I’m Number One!” “I’m a loving and caring person!” This may sound kinda corny at first, but over time you will start to believe it and feel that way about yourself! You will no longer feel like number two if you TRULY believe you are number one.

Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t…” Telling yourself this will stop you from ever trying. If you keep telling yourself you are NEVER going to be number one, you are just keeping yourself down. Be careful how you talk to yourself. We are our own worst enemies and talk to ourselves worst than anyone we know. So try and stop yourself from repeating put downs or negative comments you have been told about yourself. Stop telling yourself you are always number two.

Learn how to accept compliments! Next time someone says something nice about you, thank them and remember what they said and believe in it! If you stop focusing on the negative things people say and remember all the good things, you will feel much better about yourself!

Stay positive at all times! Try hard not to complain or talk negative to yourself or in conversations. When you start to be more aware of what you talk about, you may be surprised how much negativity that comes out of your mouth.

Now don’t be too hard on yourself, because changing your self perception and boosting your confidence is not going to happen over night. This may take a while, but it is totally possible to change and feel that you are number one!

Hi Katie,

So I’m what people call “over-weight” or “fat” and most of the time I just ignore them, but lately it’s been getting harder, and I’m starting to feel like it’s impossible to get this weight off and that I’ll never be at a normal weight.

I was wondering in you had any tips or anything on how to get more self-confidence?

Thank you! <3

Ashlea, 13

Dear Ashlea,

It’s hard not to get discouraged and feel the way you do about never being able to be a normal weight. But I think you are on the right track when you asked about your confidence and losing some of the weight. You already realized that confidence plays a BIG part in being happy with yourself and feeling good about your weight.

And also you have a realistic outlook at losing weight, as you mentioned that you want tips to lose SOME of the weight. Sometimes girls start to think that there is a way to lose it over night, so they buy into the diet scams that sell bogus pills that claim to take pounds off overnight. So to answer your question, here are some tips on how to boost your confidence:

Remind Yourself Out Loud How Beautiful You Are Every Day…Say “I’m Confident!” “I’m Gorgeous” “I’m a loving and caring person!” And believe it! And if you don’t feel beautiful on the outside at first, try focusing on your beauty inside. This may sound kinda corny at first, but over time you will start to believe it and feel that way about yourself!

Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t…” Telling yourself this will stop you from ever trying. Substitute negative words with positive ones and your will see that you really can do it!

Be careful how you talk to yourself. We are our own worst enemies and talk to ourselves worst than anyone we know. So try and stop yourself from repeating put downs or negative comments you have been told about yourself.

Learn how to accept compliments! Next time someone says something nice about you, thank them and remember what they said and believe in it! If you stop focusing on the negative things people say and remember all the good things, you will feel much better about yourself!

Stay positive at all times! Try hard not to complain or talk negative to yourself or in conversations. When you start to be more aware of what you talk about, you may be surprised how much negativity that comes out of your mouth.

“Hey!

I need some good advice… Every time I think of what I want to do in the future, I get a really sick feeling in my stomach, because I don’t know if I would have a chance in what I want to do. My heart belongs to singing and acting. When I see people, I put myself into their feet, and when I do, it’s like so amazing how much I could feel into their situations.

Everyone in my family know that I have an amazing strong voice, and they know that I love to pretend to be something else, but since I haven’t been showing as much of my compassion for a loooong time( since I was way young), I kinda feel like they don’t care, and don’t know what I am dreaming and chasing of. I have been through a lot the past four years in my life, including my insecurities, my mind, my family, and people around me. So when I think of having the future I dream of, I get that sick feeling in my stomach, like I am obviously not good enough. I guess it’s bad when I feel like I could throw up when I think of what I would hope to do in the future!!!?!!!

I am always the one, no one bothers looking at, and if they do, it’s like such a “what are you doing, and who cares about you.” So when I dream of what I want, I feel like it’s not possible because of feeling insecure. (like the looks that everyone gives me) Maybe if I were to audition for something sometime, I feel like I could sooo do it, because if I didn’t feel so insecure, and were more confident, they could just see the earthly, lively, strong sensibility in me!!!!!

I really need help on feeling confident on who I am, and I really need help about my mood changing drastically( even when I listen to music), And I also need help on how to not let people getaway with stepping right over me (mentally and definitely verbally, like things to say or do)

Thank you sooooo much for reading my long letter,lololololol”

~ Tamara, 14

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Dear Tamara,

You are definitely NOT alone in feeling this way. I have come to find that WE are our OWN worst enemy! And this is true with ALL people, myself included. Usually the person holding us back most from our dreams is ourselves! This may sound crazy but it is SO true! Think about it, ddoubting yourself is the only thing standing between you and your dreams! And YOU are the only one who can change that! “How?!” you might ask…well this is the tricky part. Its hard to just tell yourself to be confident and then you will be confident, it just doesn’t happen that way.

So start with baby steps. If you start telling yourself negative things such as, “I am not good enough” or “my family doesn’t believe in me” etc. try to realize that they are not true. That you are lying to yourself and start telling yourself how beautiful your voice is and that you ARE good enough. Tell yourself you can be a singer…and BELIEVE it! You believe yourself when you tell yourself those negative things, so why not try to believe that good things you tell yourself?! And if you don’t want to get any input from your family, in fear that they may give you negative feedback, then hold back from singing around them until you feel confident enough to not care what they think.

Confidence is not something that happens over night. So give yourself a break! No one else thinks of you the way you think of yourself. No one would even talk to you the way you talk to yourself. (and this is true with EVERYONE!) We are the most critical or ourselves than anyone else in the world! And being aware of this is the first step. That way when you start having these negative thoughts and insecurities you will know that it is not REAL and that you are being WAY to hard on yourself.

The truth is, you can be ANYTHING you want to be. You have a talent when it comes to singing and that is NOT a talent that most of people have. You have been BLESSED with a beautiful voice now EMBRACE it! Go join a choir or singing group and get back into it. You will find that when you sing you will feel that passion again.

Singing makes you happy….so SING your heart out!
xoxo

Katie

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