Hi Katie,

I am friends with this guy. I kinda met him through my other friends, but he is so nice and cute and just plain old AWESOME!

The first time we actually met was when we were at my guy friend’s house helping to film a movie for a school project. I think I might have flirted a little but I’m not sure. I found a toy sword and would poke him with it and we would continuously have “sword fights” on a trampoline. It was so fun and he let me win. After that we talked more and more.

One night I was having a sleep over with my friend and I asked her if she had any idea who I liked and she said either him or another person I used to like. So my question is how do I know if he knows I like him or not?

(P.S. today we had drama club together and we had to build fences together hehe. I was so happy because he asked if I wanted to help.)

Brianna, 13

Dear Brianna,

He probably doesn’t know for CERTAIN if you like him or not. He might have some clues, like that you are nice to him and fun to hang out with. But he is still probably wondering the same thing you are. The cool thing is, is that you both have lots of mutual friends and interests to keep you connected. Use this to your advantage and stay involved in your school projects with him and keep inviting him to hang out with you and your friends.

If you wanna make it a little more obvious you like him, you should start complimenting him occasionally. Make it a genuine compliment. Like how you told me you thought he was really nice and awesome. Tell that to him! I’m sure he would be more than flattered to hear them, plus he will see more clearly that you like him.

Hi Katie,

My crush just broke up with his girlfriend, he said that the relationship was too close, like she stayed at his house for days, they were always together driving around and stuff like that.

Now he broke up with her and I thought this was my chance and so I started flirting, and we started meeting. But it seems like he doesn’t see me as a potential new girlfriend. So how long will it takes until he’s ready for a new relationship again?

Farina, 17

Dear Farina,

There is no telling when exactly he will be ready. But he is showing interest in you. So here is what you can do. Don’t repeat the same mistakes as his last girlfriend. She sounded like she might have been a little too clingy for him. Some guys like when a girl always wants to hang out, but some guys don’t. They like their personal space and don’t need a girl hanging around them 24/7.

First of all, don’t become too available for him. Make yourself conveniently unavailable when he asks you out SOME of the times. Now I’m not saying to turn him down EVERY time, just don’t say yes to hanging out every single time he wants to. This was why his last relationship failed. She became too available for him and he got bored with her.

So keep him on his toes and keep him guessing. If he knows you aren’t sitting around waiting for him to call, he will gain more interest and be intrigued with you!

Hi Katie,

There is this guy I like and I think he likes me too but I can’t seem to figure out if he likes me or not. I read my friend and his journal (which I know was completly wrong of me) and found out he might ask me out.

I heard his brothers tell everyone he likes me. But he hangs out with other girls. My other friend said he does that to make girls he likes jealous. I’m pretty sure he likes me but I dont know why he doesn’t just ask me out already.

Is he just nervous? Should I ask him out?

Kennedy, 13

Dear Kennedy,

He has told his friends he likes you and written in a journal that he is going to ask you out, so I think he definetly likes you. He is just waiting for a the perfect opportunity to ask you out. Here are some things that you can do…

Make yourself available! When he asks you what your plans are for the weekend, don’t start rattling off a list of things you have to get done. Instead say that you are open still and don’t have any plans. This leave him with an opportunity to ask you out since you are not busy.

Find times when you can be alone with him! Guys don’t like to ask a girl out when she is with her friends or if he is with his friends in fear that if they are rejected other people will witness it. So try to find excuses to be one on one with him, like walk to class together, or at lunch don’t hang with your friends the entire time. Tell them you will be back and go near where he is hanging out and read a magazine or something. If he sees that you are alone, he will be much more comfortable approaching you than if you are with all your girlfriends.

And when he flirts with you flirt back! (So that he knows that you are interested too!) When it comes to asking girls out, guys are very scared of rejection. Esspecially when they are your age and just starting to ask girls out, they like to make 100% sure that the girl is into them too. A good way to flirt back is to laugh at his jokes, have some body contact like squeezing his arm or sholder, use good eye contact, and complement him!

When he is sure that you like him back, he will be WAY more confident that you will say “yes!” when he asks you out. So help boost his confidence and don’t be afraid to show him that you like him back.

Hi Katie,

Hey Katie, thanks for answering my last question about if a boy liked me or not and with your answer I think he does like me. But how am I going to tell him that I want to be more than just friends?

Rach, 13

Dear Rach,

When it comes being more than friends, there is a fine line and once you cross it there is no turning back. If you do tell him how you feel, just be prepared for if he doesn’t share your feelings. Things can get awkward, so to play it safe, maybe you can flirt more with him in hopes that he will get the hint and ask you out.

Take matters into your own hands by flirting with him! This can mean touching him lightly on the arm, for example, or laughing at his jokes. Just be playful and communicate that you’re interested. Compliment him! For example you could say something like, “I love your style!” This will differentiate you from a friend zone into the dating zone.

Also, here is a little tip on what NOT to do when asking a guy out. Don’t run up to him and say the words quickly. And defiantly DO NOT have a friend tell him that you like him! Guys HATE that! It is embarrassing and they will think you are immature.

Hey Girl to Girl,

My problem is that a boy at school likes me but I like someone else. I did go out with him for a while but that was ages ago. Since then he has been out with other people but he still likes me and he keeps talking to my friends and saying how he feels. How can I tell him that I’m not interested?

Thanks,
Izzy, 13

Dear Izzy,

Tell him the way you would want a guy to tell you. It’s not always an easy thing to hear when you like someone and they don’t like you back. So be kind to him yet clear on where you stand with him. Say something like, “I’m glad we can be friends!” That way he gets the hint that you just wanna be friends and nothing more. You may even want to casually mention the guy you have a crush on so he knows you have moved on. However, don’t rub it in too much that you are over him, he has feelings too.

You can also mention to your friends that when he says stuff to them like that he still has feelings for you, that it is OK for them to let him down easy and tell him that you like someone else now and don’t feel the same way back.

Hi Katie,

I like this guy, and I know he likes me back. But he also likes my best friend. He asked me out and I told him I would think about it. But I don’t want to hurt my best friend. But I cant stop thinking about this guy! He’s like on my mind 24/7. But I don’t wanna lose my best friend. What should I do?

Bailey, 16

Dear Bailey,

Talk to your best friend and be open wit her about how you feel about this guy. Tell her that you don’t want to jepordize your friendship with her and that you wouldn’t feel right about dating him if she wasn’t OK with it. She will be glad that you for considering her feelings before making your decision plus you will feel closer as friends!

Hey Katie,

There is this guy that always says he likes me and I really like him. He always acts like he really likes me and stuff. But then the tells a lot of other girls the same thing. But when I got my step sister to text him from her phone and act like someone else he said he only liked me and this girl named Darian. But now he is flirting with my step sister too, still not even knowing who she is! Do you think he really likes me or he is just playing me?

Andrea, 13

Dear Andrea,

Yes, this guy likes you, but your obviously not the only one he likes either. It is possible to like several people at the same time or have a crush on more than one person. Which is perfectly fine. He may be just waiting to see which one of the girls will like him back. But if he continues to be that flirtatious with other girls while you are dating, than that means he is not serious about your relationship.

If you really like this guy than date him, keep in mind that he does tend to play the field and flirt with girls a lot. You have already seen that side of him, so be aware that if he does continue flirting than he may not be ready for a one on one commitment.

Hey Katie,

I don’t know if I like my boyfriend anymore. When I’m with him and we are hanging out with other people I feel awkward and embarrassed and I’m not sure why.

I also feel like I can’t look him in the eye when I talk to him now. I was fine before and could look him in the eye before we started goin out. But now he makes me uncomfortable. I thought I wanted to go further with him but not as far as sex or anything like that, just a bit more than kissing, any ideas? please help!

Rach

Dear Rach,

Sounds like you don’t really like him. If you liked him you wouldn’t feel awkward or embarassed. You will feel good when you are with him and be able to look him in the eye.
You also wanted to know if you should go further with him, but you are definitly not ready for that. If you don’t even like to look him in the eye, you shouldn’t even be with him. Trust me, it’s not going to get any better, and you are only going to like him even less.
Move on sweetie! This guy is not the right guy for you! Find a guy that makes you feel happy to be with.

Hi Katie,

This guy told me he liked me, and a couple days later he was over me. Doesn’t text me, or even look at me at school. This happened a few times before with him, then he tells me he likes me. Should I just get over him?

Sierra, 14

Dear Sierra,

You say this guy keeps telling you he likes you and then acting like he doesn’t. Hes done it several times so there is definetly a patern developing. He may be trying to see your reaction to see if you like him too. When he says he likes you, and doesn’t get the reaction out of you he was expecting, like you saying you like him too…he might be withdrawing from you out of embarassment. Then later he gets the nerve again to tell you and the same thing happens again.

The thing is, we can speculate all day on why he might be doing this, but what is comes down to is what do you want? Do you want him to stop and leave you alone? Or do you like the fact that he likes you?

If you are annoyed with his behavior and just want him to stop telling you these things, you may want to forget about this guy. But if you really like him, next time he tells you he likes you, you should tell him how you feel too! This might be just what he is waiting to hear.

Dear Katie,

I have a problem with two guys. One guy lives in my neiborhood and the other guy I met at my house because my dad and my mom had a party. Their names are Eddie and Stevan. I really like them both but I have no idea if they like me back. And they are Spanish like me and they come to my house a lot.

Stevan (the one that I like) was showing off in front of me trying to impress me, but I was playing with my friends outside. Then they came outside and Eddie started showing off too. I don’t know if they like me for sure. And if they do like me, I have no I idea who I should choose. I need help please.

Gabby

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Dear Gabby,

From what you have said, it sounds like they both might like you. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a guy really likes you or is just being friendly. You say they both come over a lot, are they there to see you or hang out at your parent’s parties? If they are coming over just to see you then they definitely like you.

Another sign is when Stevan was showing off (which guys do when they like a girl) it is quite possible that he was trying to impress you and your friends. And as far as you picking which guy to like, that is something you have to do for yourself. Which guy do you think about and like to hang out with and talk to better?

So over the next couple weeks, when they come over to your house, see which guy you feel more comfortable with and like to talk to and be around. This will help you decide which one you like best.

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Hi Katie!!

Well there is this guy at my school that I would always look at..but only because he’s hot. When he first noticed me looking at him he smiled but I was too shy to smile back so I turned away. But now that he has a gf I try not to look so much. But I think the only reason he’s going out with her is because she liked him and he was just desperate.

They have probably been going out for like a week now but all of a sudden he starts looking at me, and sometimes stares. Sometimes he’ll look at me and we’ll make eye contact for like 2-6 seconds.

If he has a girlfriend than why would he be looking at me??

~Kyya, 14

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Dear Kyya,

The reason that a guy with a girlfriend would check out another girl is because he is not completely satisfied with his current girlfriend and isn’t really that into her. He might be thinking of her as a temporary girlfriend mean while he is keeping his eyes pealed for the girl of his dreams.

Some guys settle for girls they don’t like a lot because they like to have someone to be with and make out with and stuff. Like you said, he is probably going out with her because he is a little desperate and just wants to have a girlfriend at the moment, not because he really likes her. He is definitely not “in love” with her or he wouldn’t be constantly starring at you.

Also, he is making you a little uncomfortable because he keeps starring at you still now that he has a girlfriend. However don’t feel guilty, it is not your fault that the guy can’t keep his eyes to himself! And if he takes it to the next step and flirts with you or asks you out, just remind him he has a girlfriend and he is being rude to her and you.

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Dear Katie,

Ok. Me and this guy have been going out for a while now I think its appropriate for us to kiss. But I’ve never kissed a boy I don’t know how.

There are good kissers in the world and bad ones what one am I? And should I make the move or wait for him to? help me out please!!

~Kelly, 14

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Dear Kelly,

Sounds like you are really curious and just want to experience your first kiss! I think you ARE ready to make the first move. And as far as the good kissers and bad kissers, I don’t think your either…how would anyone know until you’ve actually tried kissing!

So give yourself a break girl! You are still learning and it’s not fair to judge your kissing style that way. Plus with different guys you may kiss a little differently, depending on how they kiss. So one way of kissing is not necessarily “good” or “bad” its more about being able to kiss similar to the guy you are kissing.

You will find in time as you become more experienced that you will either like the way a guy is kissing or you wont, so pay attention to what the guys that you do like how they kiss are kissing and try to mimic them.

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Hey,

My cousin who is not by blood is into me and I was into him at first but then I thought about it and how weird it was but he asked me out and I said yes and I don’t know why I was so confused my family doesn’t know anything about it luckily anyways that was a while ago he holds my hand now and again but we never talk about ‘us’ and so we haven’t broken up.

But we haven’t talked about it its so weird I’m starting to have feelings for him again we talk on msn because he moved and I don’t see him he has a girlfriend well he says he does and its so confusing should I break up with him or are we already broken up please I need heaps of help!

P.S. I cant tell my family

Jesse, 13

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Dear Jesse,

I can see why you are confused, but it sounds like you guys are not together. He has another girlfriend now. So maybe he did like you at one time, but now he is with another girl so you need to respect that and not hold his hand anymore. And just cause you haven’t talked about it doesn’t necessarily mean you are still together. He may have never thought you were together in the first place.

I know it will be hard to just get over him cause you still have feelings, but I think it would be a good thing in the long run, because even though you are not blood related, he is still your cousin and things could get really messy if your parents found out. So next time you see him or talk to him just act as if you are friends, don’t flirt with him or kiss him or anything…that will only make your feelings for him grow stronger…plus you will be respecting his current relationship by not interfering with it.

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“Hi Katie,

There is a guy that me and my friend like and he asked me out in front of her.. and I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend to go out with me.

My friend says hes a jerk for doing that and his girlfriend was friends with my friend and she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore and we’re all good friends. What should I do??”

~Zaiah

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Dear Zaiah,

Well she is friends with the girl he broke up with, so I can see why she may think he is a jerk…plus she liked him and he asked YOU out instead…so of course she is not jumping for joy.

So try not to let her make you feel bad for dating him…as long as you are happy with him and he treats you well your friend will see that maybe he is an OK guy and start talking to him again. She is also probably looking out for you and doesn’t want him to do the same thing he did to her other friend, and dump you for someone else.

My advice to you is to proceed with caution with this guy, but be aware that your friend is just trying to be a friend to you and she may also be a little disappointed that he didn’t like her. So don’t be mad at her and when she doesn’t want to hang out or talk to this guy, try to understand her point of view and why she may not want to. When you hang out with her, just don’t bring him along or talk about him the whole time.

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“A guy in my class likes me and he is asking all of these very personal questions what should I do? Tell him or ignore him?”

~Vanessa, 14

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Dear Vanessa,

You definitely don’t need to tell him ANYTHING that you don’t want him to know. That is rude of him to ask you personal questions. And it’s OK for you to tell him that! Just say “your getting a little too personal don’t ya think?” You don’t have to be mean or rude, say it nice but firm. He might not realize he is being too personal, so don’t get mad at him, just help him see that his questions are inappropriate.

If he still doesn’t get it and continues, you can try ignoring him, but if that doesn’t work and he keeps bugging you…start asking him REALLY personal questions (in a funny way, not mean) and maybe he will realize how invasive his questions are and leave you alone.

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“”I like this guy in all of my classes. But every single friend I have hates him. And people say he likes one of my friends who especially hates him. We talk a lot, and yesterday we were in a computer lab and he was next to me, and we were sitting really close because he was on my computer.

We were playing a game, and two guys came to us and were like, ‘Dude, you’re hitting on her!’ And he looked at them, then at me and didn’t say anything. I’ll look at him, then he’ll turn around to look at me. He helps me when I pretend not to understand things, and we have real conversations,We talk a lot, and even though were only in 8th grade, I think we could make a relationship work.

I want to get his number but I’m not sure how. Should I even try or not?”

~Taylor, 13

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Dear Taylor,

Sounds like you may want to get to know him better and hang out with him (away from your friends) in order to get to know him a better. Because then you will be able to see if your friends are just being judgemental or if there is a reason that they don’t all like him. Try not to pay attention to your friends not liking him…if you like him that is what really maters. (unless they hate him because he is mean to them, then you may want to look into why your friends feel the way they do, they might be warning you about him). But that doesn’t really sound like the case….I will leave that up to you to judge for yourself.

And about exchanging numbers…If you get his number…just stay FRIENDS for a while…don’t rush into any type of relationship or anything. You are thinking too far ahead about having a working relationship with him because you are still getting to know this guy. A relationship will happen in time if you and him end up both really liking each other. Plus what if you get to know him better and don’t really like him…it will be much easier to stop hanging out with him if you are just FRIENDS.

Being friends first will also make it MUCH easier for you to get his number and get to know him better because you are just hanging out as FRIENDS. Plus you could always give him your number if you are afraid to ask him for his. And when you get his number or give him yours have a reason to do so. For example if you guys were going to his house to play video games or something that he would do with a FRIEND it wont be awkward to exchange numbers.

Katie

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“Hi Katie,
I mega like this guy and he will flirt but then when he is with his friends he acts like nothing happened. We have gone out before and it went really but he dumped me because he didn’t want a girlfriend over Christmas! grrr anyway…..

He likes my best friend and I have tried everything I can think of to get his attention, got any ideas??? Even his best friend has tired to convince him!! Should I just give up and take it he doesn’t like me???”

Laura, 13

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Dear Laura,

Sounds like you should move on. You can’t really MAKE anyone like you…and it sounds like he is not really worth your time and effort of trying to make him like you. You say he flirted with you and then acted like nothing happened…do you think you may have mistaken friendliness with flirting? This is common sometimes and can make it seem more complicated than it really is.

You also say that he likes you best mayte…then why are you trying to get his attention? Sounds like he is into your friend not you…so do yourself a favor and let him go. I’m sure there are other guys out there who would love to have you as a girlfriend….and those are the guys you want to put that kinda effort into! Trust me girl, it is no fun putting all that effort into someone who doesn’t appreciate it or want to return the same effort or feelings…it will only make you feel frustrated and sad.

Katie

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“So I really really like this guy and I just met him like a month ago. He seems like Mr. Perfect and we talk to each other a lot but he goes to another school and me and his mom don’t really like each other. But I really want to ask him out what do I do?”

~ Liza, 16

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Dear Liza,

If you really like this guy, like you say you do, you should make an honest effort to get along with his mom. Luckily you’ll be dating HIM…and not his MOM! Meaning, you don’t have to LIKE his mom, in fact you may date many guys in the future that you don’t really like their mom or other family members…but you shouldn’t let that reason stop you from going out with them. And that also doesn’t give you any right to be rude or mean to their moms or family either.

So the fact that you don’t like her is not a big issue…If you like this guy you need to respect his mother, no matter how she treats you. You might not like her, but you need to make an effort to get along with her and show respect…even if she doesn’t reciprocate your effort. Because if you DON’T get along with his mom and this guy sees that you don’t like his mother or treat her kindly he is going to have a hard time liking you back. Think about if a guy started talking smack about your mom or saying he doesn’t like her….no matter how YOU feel about your mom, you are going to get protective and see this guy as being a real jerk.

So go ahead and ask him out! But don’t give his mom any reasons not to like you…do your best to show his mom the best side of yourself and hopefully as time goes on she will find more and more reasons to like you.

Katie

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“Hi Katie,

Well I randomly came across your video yesterday. You seem really nice so I hope you can help me out with this.

Anyways I’ve bassically known this guy for about three years. We’re not exactly friends but we talk sometimes. He’s not exactly the best looking guy and a lot of the girls think he’s pretty dorky. He’s been turned down by every girl he’s ever asked out. Well for the entire time I’ve known him I’ve always just considered him a nice guy and nothing more. I couldn’t really picture myself ever being in a relationship with him.

The past two months though something has definately changed between us. I don’t really know when it happened but one day we just started having a conversation and I guess after that we just kept talking. I never really payed that much attention to him before, I always thought he was kind of plain but after talking to him I’ve begun to realize we have tons of things in common. We share the same interests, the same religious beliefs.

This guy is just charming, funny, can hold a decent conversation and extremely well mannered and he treats me with complete respect. He’s a guy that’s not afraid to stand out from the crowd. These are qualities that I deffinately like in a guy. Well ever since we’ve gotten close alot of people keep telling me the guy likes me and teasing me about how weird it would be if I liked him back. They think he’s not my type. When they bug me about it I just laugh it off but honestly I think I’m really falling hard for this guy.

So I really want to let him know how I feel about him but at the same time there’s this huge part of me that’s just scared about what everyone else might say. Do you think I should let him know or just remain friends with him.”

~ Rose, 18

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Dear Rose,

You should DEFINETLY let him know how you feel! Don’t let other people control who you DO and DON’T date. People are always going to judge you for what you do….like if you DON’T date him, people are going to think its cause your shallow and you didn’t date him because of his looks. And if you DO date him, people might think its ‘weird” or whatever. It’s really a lose lose situation!

So do what makes you happy….your friends are not the ones that are dating him…your are! If you decide to date him and not let your friends make up your mind for you….they will eventually get over it support your decision if they are true friends. Maybe if they got to know him better too they will see why you like him so much.

In highschool, I had a very similar situation. This guy liked me for a LONG time, and I wasn’t really attracted to him. I was afraid of what people would think! But we had a connection and I decided to go out with him anyway, and tried to ignore my friends comments. It was funny how after like a week or so they stopped making the comments and they really started to see why I liked him. I am really glad that I decided to date him cause he was a great boyfriend and treated my like a princess. He taught me how a real boyfriend should treat a girl and a learned how to have a healthy happy relationship.

If you find a TRUE connection with a guy, it is truely is RARE…so hold onto it…don’t let other people hold you back from having happiness in your own life!

xoxo

Katie

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“Hey, My boyfriend is 18 and my mum and sister found out after I fell asleep and left my msn on and he was talking to me- btw he wasn’t saying anything inappropriate, but it was obvious he’s my boyfriend as we have eachothe in our names and all that lol. At the time he thought I was 16 but my mum and sister spoke to him and told him I was 14 and to leave me alone and that. My mum went crazy at me, which btw I kinda expected and my sister sat down and had a chat with me (she thinks she knows everything about men) and told me all he wanted was sex etc. They told me to break up with him and everything so I lied and told them I would that night. Everything was ok for a few weeks and I secretly carried on talking to him on the phone and that.

Yesterday my mum went crazy at me again saying he knew I was still with him and that she was going to report us to the police- which I don’t understand as we do not have sex, because we’ve decided to wait til I’m legal, if I didn’t finish it with him that day, again I said I would, but I am in love with him, deeply and truly, I am very mature for my age and I don’t know what to do anymore. I can not break up with him, I really am in love with him and please don’t make judgements and tell me to break up with him or anything because I really can’t do that. I thought I could tell my sister anything but I really don’t know how to begin to tell her that I really do love him and I don’t care what they say, I’m not breaking up with him. please help girls”

xoxo Victoria, 14

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Dear Victoria,

This is definitely a tricky situation. If you continue to see this guy you are going against your mother’s wishes, but you really like this guy and don’t want to end it. So here is my advice. When I was 14, there was these two 18 year old guys that my friend and I met. We really liked them and thought it was sooo cool how they had cars and we could go places with them. It made me feel mature when I was with them. But looking back now….I see that they did not have a good intent for me or my friend. They were not interested in having a loving relationship, they just wanted to have sex!

So, your mother does make a good point when she questions his intent for you. She could be right that he is just interested in sex, not a relationship. PLUS you say you lied to this boy about your age…so even you knew that you were too young for him. You should ask yourself if you had told him you were 14 from the start, would he have wanted to date you?!

I think at this point, you should move on, this situation with this guy is already bringing out a dishonest side of you….not only have you lied to your mom about him, but you’ve lied to the guy about your age. So my suggestion would be to drop this guy (it will be really hard I know) but it will save you a lot of heart ache in the future.

xoxo

Katie

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“I really like this boy but I don’t no how to get closer to him without going too far and we’ve been going out for three months. What should I do?”
~ Alexandria, 14

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Dear Alexandria,

This is a great question! You may be confusing closeness with intimacy. Physical closeness does always transfer into emotional closeness. I think you want to get closer to him emotionally and are seeing going further physically is the only way to achieve that. But that is not what will happen. If you are not ready to go further….which by how you are talking I get the idea that you are not ready to go “too far” with him…you should definitely find other ways besides physical to get closer to your boyfriend.

You can get closer many other ways such as by talking more and sharing deeper stories. Talk about childhood stories and future goals. Talk about what you think love is and your views on life. Spend more time together and hang out one on one. Share your feelings for him. All of these things will bring you guys closer without having to go further physically.

A lot of times at your age, (and even at my age, 25!) guys will try to pressure you into thinking that sex is the next step of your relationship and they almost expect a girl to be ready after a few short months. If this is the case, and he is pressuring you and making you feel that that is the only way to get closer to him, then that is not cool and you should definitely not do it. Think about it this way…no girl ever pressures a guy into having sex to get “closer” to her. Girls just don’t view closeness this way…like I mentioned earlier, we see closeness as being emotionally connected with someone…not physically!

If you feel that you are being pressured into going too far with him….trust your instincts and don’t do it. Because if you do end up going further than you are comfortable with, you will only end up feeling further away from him…NOT closer!

xoxo

Katie

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Hi!

I met a boy at work, I really really liked him…when the summer job finished I did not see him again until a few weeks ago in a library, I saw him like four times and he always talks to me for a long while …in one of the conversations I recommended him a book, I said I was going to take it to the library, but didn’t see him again.

A few weeks later he wrote an email and said he would have liked to read that book, so i told him that I was going to the library those days, and asked him to tell me if he was going…but he did not answer.

I really like this guy, I’m thinking about asking him out…but wanna know but he didn’t replied, he is quite distracted…I don’t know what to do…I’d really thank some advice. Thnx”

~ Josefina

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Dear Josefina,

He emailed you about the book, so it sounds like he wanted to keep in contact with you. He could have easily just rented the book from the library without emailing you telling you he would have liked to read it.

Maybe he just doesn’t like hanging out in the library… you should suggest something outside of the library to do. Like mention a cool new movie and see if he wants to go see it or something.

xoxo

Katie

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“Hey I am 15 and I am getting into a serious relationship. All my friends including my boyfriend want to go out to the movies or bowling or something but my parents are so protective! I never get to go do anything like that and when I ask my mom just tells me I am to young to date or I can only go if she goes! I don’t want her to go because that would be embarrassing!

What should I do? I read in another question kind of like this that you said to earn their trust! I believe I have their trust because I never lie to them about where I am going or what I am doing (when I get to go)…

I think most of the reason that I can’t go is because of my boyfriend but I have told them nothing is going to happen between me and him there will not be any sex or anything like that! But they just don’t understand and think that things are the same as when they were my age! Can you help?”

~Haelee, 15

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Dear Haelee,

I can see that your parents really care about you and are trying to protect you from what they went through at your age…but as a 15 year old, that can be a real drag! So here is what you can try doing… Your mom said you can’t go out with him unless she goes, maybe she is just scared of the two of you being alone together.

So arrange a group outing like maybe have several of your friends all go to the movies together that way it is a group of friends and he can go along too. This way it is not like a “date” and is more just a hang out and get to know each other thing. Your mom might be more comfortable knowing that you will be with other people and not just one on one with him.

xoxo

Katie

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“Hey!

So I would really like some advice…I know it may sound a bit stupid! So new years eve I met this guy and like we both were kind of drunk and like we started making out, anyways we didn’t talk or anything after the party. Two weeks later I saw him again at my friends sweet 16 and he was telling his friends that he really likes me and that he is too shy to come to speak to me!

Then one of his friends pushed me on him and he smiled and after like two minutes we started kissing and then he was like I’ll meet you later I gotta go talk to my friends and he gave me this flirty smile lol like after his friend was like I need to talk to you and we went to the bathroom and he was there and then his mate went away. We talked for a bit, we started kissing and stuff! Anyways then his friends came and I went to mine…he came and told me we need to talk and he started saying I don’t know how to be a boyfriend and things like that and to get to know each other…I was like ok…then I had to leave and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Three days later he sent me a message from his mate’s moblie saying sorry for not texting and saying that he does not have credit and he’ll speek to me soon but he didn’t…it’s been like two weeks or so…what should I do? I really like him should I text him? Saying what? Please help!

xoxo Denise , 15

P.S. Sorry that its long! I’m maltese and he is english he just moved to malta a year ago and he going back in summer!”

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Dear Denise,

So it sounds like his phone doesn’t have any credit left, so maybe he can’t call you. If you text you wont know if his phone works or not or if he could actually receive your text. The only way to know for sure is to call his phone and see if it rings and if he answers.

If he doesn’t answer leave him a message and tell him you had a good time hanging out with him and that you wanna hang out again before he leaves back to England. Leave your number too just in case. After that if he is really into you and wants to get a hold of you he will find a way to call you back.

If he doesn’t call don’t take it personal, he may not have access to his voicemail. Next time exchange emails too =)

xoxo

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Hi Katie,

I met Chris with the help of my friend, Angela, and after a while of getting over some other guy, I started to like him. I went to his house with his friends, and 2 of mine, and we had a lot of fun-we swam around in his pool, I beat his team of him and his friends up at racquetball, and he laughed at almost everything I said. His friends were nice to me, and it was probably the most favorite time of mine that I’ve hung out with him. I don’t remember much of it, sadly, but I remember playing rock band and just having an overall great time.

Another time, I partied with him at some other girls house, and I put ice down his back a bit, during an ice fight (which honestly, I bet he really hated, and it kinda showed), and swam around whenever he got in the pool-I had a pretty great time. We sat around on the outdoor couches by the pool, and we talked a bit, and then he decided to lay down on the burning hot (from the sun beating down on it), wrought iron coffee table, and covers himself with a towel. Naturally, I’m not content with talking to him through a blanket, so I ran over, grabbed a glass of lemonade, and laughing like a maniac, I went over and dumped it in the direction of his face. It was hilarious!

Last week, I went on a bike ride with my friend, Lana-the other best friend I go to school with-. We had a lot of fun, and acted like dorks. We stop by everybody that lived nearby (everybody we had the party with), and totally ruin our reputation, but we have some fun. Now, Chris lives right across from Lana, so we decide to stop by, but we have an argument on who should knock, talk, et cetera, but we end up being too giggly to make up our minds, and we head over to his house too fast. We knock, and his little sister races to the door to pick up. We giggle awkwardly, and I manage to choke out for her to get her brother, and she races off, and also much too fast, Chris comes to the door. We stutter and stammer and whatever else you aren’t supposed to do, and neither of us can say anything, and so we both start laughing super loudly and obnoxiously to kill the silence. We end up staring at each other, and I start fake-yelling at my friend to tell her we should have ditched faster. The whole experience is mortifyingly embarrassing. Throughout this, he is as depressed as ever, which makes up half of the awkwardness. Now, I’m sure he thinks for sure I am totally in love with him, and I’m not sure myself! We end up just awkwardly saying bye and running away as fast as we could, and I stick a popsicle down my friends shirt, I feel so horrified. Lana tells me that he never acts like this whenever they talk. Yikes.

You’re now up to date. Answer these questions, please; Do I like him? Maybe I do. What should I do? What would be smart? Why is he depressed, and why do I feel so bad? I don’t care if it’s not my fault; I feel bad for everyone, and I don’t care if he’s making me feel like I’m the cause of all this-it’s clearly not his intention to make me blame myself, but he doesn’t cover it up very well-if he was trying to in the first place. Tell me anything else you can, please, thanks, bye, I guess.

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Dear Gigi,

If you really liked this guy, you would not be asking if you do or not. It sounds like you just feel bad for him and don’t want to hurt his feelings. Maybe you like that he likes you and you don’t wanna reject him cause you would feel even worse.

And from his point of view he probably thinks you do not really like him because you and your friends are always playing and messing with him. I don’t think that he is depressed and if he is sad it is not you…maybe it is just that you are sending him mixed signals and he is just confused, he can’t tell if you like him or just like messing with him.

You wanna know what to do….I think you should just stay friends with him and maybe after you get more comfortable hanging out around him you might get less silly and be able to tell if you were getting butterflies around him because you liked him or cause you were just nervous about making him feel ok.

xoxo

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Dear Katie,

“How do you know if your boyfriend loves you?” ~Shanice

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Dear Shanice,

Great question! I think this is the ultimate question all girls want to know and are constantly trying to figure out about their boyfriends!

Everyone thinks of love in a different way…there is no ONE concrete definition of what love is…we all have our own. Some people think of love as giving…like my dad expresses love to me through giving and providing. Other people think of love as affection, and they express love to people throught being affectionate.

So a good way to understand your boyfriend better is to find out what his definition of love is. Once you know how he expresses love, you will better understand him as a person and it may give you a better clue as to his love for you.

xoxo

Katie

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Hi Katie, I have a problem with this guy. His name’s mike and I know him pretty well, we were sort of aquaintences/friends.

He kept holding doors and helping me up and stuff, and I though that was nice, but then on a bus ride home from a marching band thing (it’s required) he kept trying to hold my hand and hug me and stuff. I didn’t want to be rude, but it felt really weird.

I’ve been avoiding him for a week but it always feels really weird to see him. Am I being a jerk? What should I say to him, or should I just let our “friendship” thing continue to fade?

~ Samantha, 14

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Dear Samantha,

This is a great question! I know exactly the situation you are in…you think of him just as a friend and he likes you and thinks he has a chance of more than just friends. You are not being a jerk for avoiding him, but since you both go to school together you probably can’t avoid him forever…so here is what you do.

The best thing to do in this kind of situation is to let him down easy and don’t make it any more awkward than it has to be. For instance, in midst conversation he tries to grab your hand pull away but then in a super friendly tone say “hey silly! whatcha doin?! hehehe! I thought we were just friends?” You can say “Hey were friends, right? Can I get your advice on a guy I like?”

Eventually he will get the hint, and if he still doesn’t then it is ok for you to be straight forward and say you don’t have the same feelings. He may not realize that you don’t like him back…guys very often mistake a girl just being friendly as her liking him. So when dealing with him, there is no need to get nasty with the guy, you can’t blame him for tryin! Just let him down the way you would want someone to let you down if you were in his shoes.

xoxo

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I was wondering what the best way to get a boy to notice you was. (I’m in Middle School)              ~  Becca, 13

Dear Becca,

I think there are many ways a girl can get attention from guys….but the real question you should ask is what kind of attention do you want? Sometimes girls seek attention from guys and end up getting a lot of negative sexual attention rather than the fun and loving kind. So before you go to school with bright red lipstick and a push up bra, try to think of what you are really looking for.

If you are looking for fun and positive guys that will have good intentions for you, they will notice you most if you just enhance your natural beauty with subtle makeup and cute clothes that are still tasteful and stylish, yet not too revealing. And the most attractive quality you can have is to be confident in yourself and also by having a kind and sincere attitude that is pleasant to be around.
A combination of all of these things will get you noticed…but in all the right ways!

Good luck sweetie!

Katie

Hi Katie,

So. Everyone goes to the schools high school football game, and I was planning on going.   And I know my boyfriend will be there… and I am not sure… like.

I really want to hold hands with him. But.. it feels really awkward for me to just grab his hand. Like.. we have held hands two other times before. But he always grabbed my hand. AHH! HELP PLEASE!
Thanks, Amanda.

P.S. Please answer this as soon as possible. Because the game is tomorrow. (Friday)

Hi Amanda!

So, you are meeting boyfriend at the game and wanna hold hands with him but you say it feels awkward to make the first move. I think it feels awkward for you to be the one to grab his hand because maybe you are not used to being the one to initiate anything.

I can totally relate! Us girls are so used to the guys initiating everything and being the one to always make the first move, that it feels weird when we are the ones to do it. When in all reality guys love when girls initiate stuff or make the first move…it shows that the girl is confidant and that she is into the guy, which are two of the most attractive qualities a girl can have.

So don’t be shy…if you feel the timing is right…like you guys are walking side by side go ahead, reach out grab his hand! He will definitely be glad you did!

Only one word of caution though….if he is hanging in a group of all his guy friends and football players….it may not be the right time to hold hands….don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to, its just that many guys don’t like a lot public affection…especially around all their guy friends. So wait until you guys are walking together and all his attention is on you, and make your move =)

Have fun tonight!

Katie

Girl to Girl Talk

I don’t want to break up with him just yet, I need to advice on how I should approach our issue?   I’m almost 17 and my boyfriend and I have been on again off again for almost a year now. He came over a month ago and my mom got mad because she was concerned that he was using me. Then, once again he left! I think that I love him a lot.. But it has now been over a month since we have seen each other!

Since last Wednesday our communication just stopped. I emailed him a lot over the past weekend and I do feel like I shouldn’t have! He finally responded me saying; that he was sorry that he didn’t write back, but I have to calm down. He said he was occupied at work and working out at the Gym. He said that I have to stop being so obsessive, and that his phone is getting fixed. (Sounds like a lot of excuses) But he’s sorry that he didn’t respond and said we’ll talk soon.

It’s been over a week since we’ve had an actual phone conversation and I feel so hurt. He did tell me previously that he loves me. I sent him back an email last Sunday that I was sorry and I’ll give him space. I want this to work out with him and I’m a very patient person, but I feel like my patience is running out.

I need your help please!! I want to call him and try to get him to work things out face to face. However, how do I tell him that over the phone?

I need your help how to approach this. Please help me!!

Thank you.  Mica

Dear Mica,

I honestly have to say that you should move on…this guy just doesn’t seem like he is that into you anymore.

You should find a guy who is emotionally and physically available for you and who wants to put forth effort to see you and call you and not make you wonder if he is still into you or not.

Sometimes we want what we cant have, and I think this may be a classic case of this. I don’t think you really love him, I think you just really desire him because he is inaccessable to you.

I have been there too, and its a lot easier said then done, but the best thing you can do is let this guy go and over time you will eventually forget about him.

Good luck sweetie!

xoxo