“Hi Katie,

I find that a lot of the guy’s that I talk to, and try to get in a relationship with, always tend to want to do more then I feel comfortable with.

I don’t want to get pressured into anything I’m not ready for, but it’s hard when all your friends are doing it, and it’s all that the guy wants.

~Alyssa, 15

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Dear Alyssa,

Great question! Sometimes it is hard to watch your friends do things that you don’t approve of. I admire you for not giving in to the pressures you are facing. Guys especially will be trying to get you to do things with them that you may not want to do. They will try and make you feel guilty for not wanting to go further…this is VERY common at your age.

Holding out can actually be a GREAT test to see if he is really into you or just wanting to fool around. If the guy doesn’t want to date you because you won’t give him any action, then you don’t want to be dating that guy anyway! If a guy doesn’t mind waiting for you to be ready then he is worth having a relationship with. The truth is, most of those guys you probably wanted a relationship with that were pressuring you for more, were probably not into having a relationship anyway, they just wanted more physically.

Believe me I am 25 years old and guys always try to pressure me into doing more, and no matter what I never give in….and I have really gained a lot of self confidence from being able to resist these types of pressures. As a matter of fact, a majority of the time, guys respect me MORE for saying no, especially the guys that are actually worth my time. A lot of girls will give into a guy’s pressures, and I have had guys tell me later that they really liked that I didn’t give in like those other girls and they end up liking me more!

xoxo

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Dear Kate,

My Ex-boyfriend has no life so he has decided to invent tales about me that are not true, so what should I do?

It seems like everyone is asking me about it like they believe what they are hearing and I am having to constantly prove that the rumors are not true?

How can I get him to stop? Peace & Luv, Chloe

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Dear Chloe,

The best thing you can do is let it go…

What this guy wants is for you to get upset and hurt over this, so don’t let him. The more energy and attention you give it the more you are giving this guy what he wants.

So just let it go and even make light of it and joke about it, that will probably piss him off more than anything because he is trying to get you to react…and when you don’t react the way he anticipated you would, he will be frustrated and annoyed.

xoxo

Hi Katie,

I used to go on a message board and became close with a lot of the people. I don’t go on it anymore, but I still talk to a few of them. One of the girls recently added me on MySpace, and is constantly coping what I do.

Obviously she thinks because she doesn’t talk to me, she can copy me and get away with it. She reads my comments, obviously, too. I mentioned a movie and then the next day she goes crazy about it’s her favorite movie.

I have the word ‘scandalous’ after my name on MySpace; she puts the same word after hers. I put a picture of me with certain makeup on; she does it the same way and posts a picture a few days later.

I don’t mean to sound like one of those bitchy MySpace girls, but the only contact I have with her is through MySpace. I deleted her, but she can still see my MySpace page, obviously.

I need advice on what to do please?

~ Becca ~

Hi Becca!

Copying is truly a form of flattery…I know that sounds cliché but it sounds to me like she looks up to you and thinks highly of you.

She may be lost herself and sees something in you that she wishes she could be like.

Don’t let it get you angry, think of it as a compliment…plus now that you deleted her you don’t have to worry about her anymore, you can always put your page as “private” so only your friends can view your page.

You could also try doing something really funny by dressing ridiculos in your picture and see if she copies you. Then the joke is on her!

Just don’t take it so seriously and let it bother you so much. If making light of it will help you see the humor in the situation it might be your best bet!

xoxo