Hey Girl to Girl,

My problem is that a boy at school likes me but I like someone else. I did go out with him for a while but that was ages ago. Since then he has been out with other people but he still likes me and he keeps talking to my friends and saying how he feels. How can I tell him that I’m not interested?

Thanks,
Izzy, 13

Dear Izzy,

Tell him the way you would want a guy to tell you. It’s not always an easy thing to hear when you like someone and they don’t like you back. So be kind to him yet clear on where you stand with him. Say something like, “I’m glad we can be friends!” That way he gets the hint that you just wanna be friends and nothing more. You may even want to casually mention the guy you have a crush on so he knows you have moved on. However, don’t rub it in too much that you are over him, he has feelings too.

You can also mention to your friends that when he says stuff to them like that he still has feelings for you, that it is OK for them to let him down easy and tell him that you like someone else now and don’t feel the same way back.

Dear Katie,

So I really like this guy… I’m pretty sure this is a typical thing…I really really like this boy in my class, and everybody says he likes me. (Everybody as in my friends and others in my class that know I like him). We’ve kept in touch over the summer and e-mailed each other like everyday. (He’s even invited me to his house a few times.)

Anyway, all of a sudden all his calls and e-mails have just stopped coming. He only sends me like chain letters and one-worded answers to questions if I ask any. I really wanna talk to him again but I don’t wanna seem desperate and don’t know what to say in an e-mail or on the phone! I just wanna know whats going on. Plz help. Thanks a bunch!

~Alexis, 13

P.S He’s known I like him ever since the 5th grade, I’m in 7th.

Dear Alexis,

There are SO many reasons why a guy just stops talking to a girl all of a sudden. He may have lost interest, met someone else or got really busy with something else…the list goes on and on. There is no point in you trying to figure it out in your own head. You may never really know exactly why he got distant so suddenly.

The only way to know for sure is to ask him directly, otherwise you need to let it go and just chalk it up to the unknown. Don’t try and assume that you know exactly why or create some crazy scenarios in your head of what you THINK may have happened. This will only get you feeling even worse. You don’t know the reason so don’t pretend you do. And it probably has NOTHING to do with you. Don’t start blaming yourself or thinking it is something you did. 99% of the time it is something HE is going through and has nothing to do with you personally.

This sort of thing happens to girls all the time, believe it or not! Guys just don’t want to be the ones to tell a girl they changed their minds for whatever reason. They would rather just avoid making a girl feel bad.

The least you can do is just try to talk to him like you always have and feel out the situation. If he still continues to blow you off, your best off just taking the hint and walking away so that you can move on and meet new boys. Don’t waste your time with a guy who doesn’t reciprocate your interest.

Hey Katie,

I really like this guy, but he is one of my best friends. So I finally got up the courage to tell him and he told me he doesn’t like me that way.

Now I feel awkward around him and I don’t know what to do! I feel like it was a huge mistake telling him because now we don’t even talk. What should I do?

Alli, 14

Dear Alli,

First, I would like to say that I think it was great that you had the courage to tell him how you feel! That takes a lot of confidence and courage. But now that he told you that he doesn’t share the same feelings you have to respect that. The only thing you can really do is accept his decision and try to continue as friends if that is what he wants too. Now that your feelings are out in the open, things between you can never go back to exactly how it was before. It’s different now, but that’s ok. Because before you secretly liked him and hoped he would like you back, and now you can stop wondering.

So try not to wish that everything would go back to how it was, because there is no way to go back in time…what happened, happened. If he doesn’t want to talk to you, you have to respect that and give him his space. Don’t force your friendship onto him…he is just as confused as you are right now. Think about it this way, if you had never said anything and then you would have never known his real feelings. You would look back and regret not telling him how you felt, and wonder if he would have felt the same. So that is great that you were able to overcome the fear of rejection and express your feelings.

Finding out the truth and knowing for sure is almost always better than not knowing and wondering what would have happened if you had only told him. So be glad that you don’t have to live with regret! And please try not to let this experience stop you from being open with your feelings next time you like a guy. Maybe the next guy will share your feelings and you will forget all about this one!

Hey Katie,

First I want to say all the advice you have given is very helpful, Thanks so much! My question is, how to make out with a boy?

I’m too embarrassed to ask my mom, and my sister is in college. Please help!!!

~ Morgan

Dear Morgan,

Great question! It’s scary thinking about the first time you are going to kiss a guy or make out with him. Wondering what to do and hope you are doing it right. But here’s the thing…he is even MORE nervous than you! The pressure is really on him to kiss well…not you! So now that I have hopefully eased your nerves about it, here are some simple tips to help your first kiss go smoothly!

Once your lips touch keep your mouth slightly open, just as you would when you are popping a grape into your mouth. You don’t wanna open it too wide then it is like your trying to swallow his face or something…which is not very sexy! Then let him lead and you follow. Meaning let him move his lips and you just try to follow his lips. As you do it more you will get more comfortable with the way he kisses. All guys kiss differently so it can take several times of making out to get in sync with each other’s kiss.

And since you are just starting to make out and kiss guys, a great tip for you is LESS is MORE! Meaning that don’t try too hard at first. Like don’t use your tongue or start moving your lips all fast and hard. You are new to this so ease into it and let him do all the work, you just try to follow along with him.

Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four years now and I just started noticing that he likes blondes, which upsets me because I have black hair. All the celebrities that he notices and points out are blonde and people who he used to have crushes on in the past are blonde.

My self-esteem and self-confidence have disappeared because having black hair is something I can’t change. He won’t admit that he likes blondes but how can I gain my self-esteem back if all the girls he likes are blonde and none of them look like me?

Nancy, 19

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Dear Nancy,

People often think they have a “type” but then they meet someone completely different and find that they like that type better than the type they once thought they liked! I always dated blonde hair, blue eyed, all-American looking guys. But then I met a guy that was ethnic looking with black hair and I ended up falling for him! I didn’t think he was my type at first but I ended up liking him MORE than any of the blonde guys I dated in the past.

Just because he admires blonde hair on celebrities, doesn’t mean that it is the only quality in a girlfriend that he wants. You may have ALL of the other qualities he is looking for…such as your heart, personality and sense of humor! Which in my opinion is WAY more important than a person’s hair color!

So before you get the urge to turn blonde(lol) take a look at how he treats you and the other qualities that he loves about you. That will give you a much better view of the whole picture and you will see all the other positive qualities you bring to the table in your relationship.

If your boyfriend is good to you and treats you with love, respect and admiration than try to focus on those aspects of the relationship. He probably doesn’t wanna say that his “type” was blonds in the past because that would obviously hurt your feelings since you have black hair…and he doesn’t want to make you feel bad.

So try to recognize that he does see beauty in you…if not he wouldn’t have been with you for four years now!

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“A guy in my class likes me and he is asking all of these very personal questions what should I do? Tell him or ignore him?”

~Vanessa, 14

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Dear Vanessa,

You definitely don’t need to tell him ANYTHING that you don’t want him to know. That is rude of him to ask you personal questions. And it’s OK for you to tell him that! Just say “your getting a little too personal don’t ya think?” You don’t have to be mean or rude, say it nice but firm. He might not realize he is being too personal, so don’t get mad at him, just help him see that his questions are inappropriate.

If he still doesn’t get it and continues, you can try ignoring him, but if that doesn’t work and he keeps bugging you…start asking him REALLY personal questions (in a funny way, not mean) and maybe he will realize how invasive his questions are and leave you alone.

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“So I really really like this guy and I just met him like a month ago. He seems like Mr. Perfect and we talk to each other a lot but he goes to another school and me and his mom don’t really like each other. But I really want to ask him out what do I do?”

~ Liza, 16

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Dear Liza,

If you really like this guy, like you say you do, you should make an honest effort to get along with his mom. Luckily you’ll be dating HIM…and not his MOM! Meaning, you don’t have to LIKE his mom, in fact you may date many guys in the future that you don’t really like their mom or other family members…but you shouldn’t let that reason stop you from going out with them. And that also doesn’t give you any right to be rude or mean to their moms or family either.

So the fact that you don’t like her is not a big issue…If you like this guy you need to respect his mother, no matter how she treats you. You might not like her, but you need to make an effort to get along with her and show respect…even if she doesn’t reciprocate your effort. Because if you DON’T get along with his mom and this guy sees that you don’t like his mother or treat her kindly he is going to have a hard time liking you back. Think about if a guy started talking smack about your mom or saying he doesn’t like her….no matter how YOU feel about your mom, you are going to get protective and see this guy as being a real jerk.

So go ahead and ask him out! But don’t give his mom any reasons not to like you…do your best to show his mom the best side of yourself and hopefully as time goes on she will find more and more reasons to like you.

Katie

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“Hi Katie,

Well I randomly came across your video yesterday. You seem really nice so I hope you can help me out with this.

Anyways I’ve bassically known this guy for about three years. We’re not exactly friends but we talk sometimes. He’s not exactly the best looking guy and a lot of the girls think he’s pretty dorky. He’s been turned down by every girl he’s ever asked out. Well for the entire time I’ve known him I’ve always just considered him a nice guy and nothing more. I couldn’t really picture myself ever being in a relationship with him.

The past two months though something has definately changed between us. I don’t really know when it happened but one day we just started having a conversation and I guess after that we just kept talking. I never really payed that much attention to him before, I always thought he was kind of plain but after talking to him I’ve begun to realize we have tons of things in common. We share the same interests, the same religious beliefs.

This guy is just charming, funny, can hold a decent conversation and extremely well mannered and he treats me with complete respect. He’s a guy that’s not afraid to stand out from the crowd. These are qualities that I deffinately like in a guy. Well ever since we’ve gotten close alot of people keep telling me the guy likes me and teasing me about how weird it would be if I liked him back. They think he’s not my type. When they bug me about it I just laugh it off but honestly I think I’m really falling hard for this guy.

So I really want to let him know how I feel about him but at the same time there’s this huge part of me that’s just scared about what everyone else might say. Do you think I should let him know or just remain friends with him.”

~ Rose, 18

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Dear Rose,

You should DEFINETLY let him know how you feel! Don’t let other people control who you DO and DON’T date. People are always going to judge you for what you do….like if you DON’T date him, people are going to think its cause your shallow and you didn’t date him because of his looks. And if you DO date him, people might think its ‘weird” or whatever. It’s really a lose lose situation!

So do what makes you happy….your friends are not the ones that are dating him…your are! If you decide to date him and not let your friends make up your mind for you….they will eventually get over it support your decision if they are true friends. Maybe if they got to know him better too they will see why you like him so much.

In highschool, I had a very similar situation. This guy liked me for a LONG time, and I wasn’t really attracted to him. I was afraid of what people would think! But we had a connection and I decided to go out with him anyway, and tried to ignore my friends comments. It was funny how after like a week or so they stopped making the comments and they really started to see why I liked him. I am really glad that I decided to date him cause he was a great boyfriend and treated my like a princess. He taught me how a real boyfriend should treat a girl and a learned how to have a healthy happy relationship.

If you find a TRUE connection with a guy, it is truely is RARE…so hold onto it…don’t let other people hold you back from having happiness in your own life!

xoxo

Katie

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“Hey, My boyfriend is 18 and my mum and sister found out after I fell asleep and left my msn on and he was talking to me- btw he wasn’t saying anything inappropriate, but it was obvious he’s my boyfriend as we have eachothe in our names and all that lol. At the time he thought I was 16 but my mum and sister spoke to him and told him I was 14 and to leave me alone and that. My mum went crazy at me, which btw I kinda expected and my sister sat down and had a chat with me (she thinks she knows everything about men) and told me all he wanted was sex etc. They told me to break up with him and everything so I lied and told them I would that night. Everything was ok for a few weeks and I secretly carried on talking to him on the phone and that.

Yesterday my mum went crazy at me again saying he knew I was still with him and that she was going to report us to the police- which I don’t understand as we do not have sex, because we’ve decided to wait til I’m legal, if I didn’t finish it with him that day, again I said I would, but I am in love with him, deeply and truly, I am very mature for my age and I don’t know what to do anymore. I can not break up with him, I really am in love with him and please don’t make judgements and tell me to break up with him or anything because I really can’t do that. I thought I could tell my sister anything but I really don’t know how to begin to tell her that I really do love him and I don’t care what they say, I’m not breaking up with him. please help girls”

xoxo Victoria, 14

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Dear Victoria,

This is definitely a tricky situation. If you continue to see this guy you are going against your mother’s wishes, but you really like this guy and don’t want to end it. So here is my advice. When I was 14, there was these two 18 year old guys that my friend and I met. We really liked them and thought it was sooo cool how they had cars and we could go places with them. It made me feel mature when I was with them. But looking back now….I see that they did not have a good intent for me or my friend. They were not interested in having a loving relationship, they just wanted to have sex!

So, your mother does make a good point when she questions his intent for you. She could be right that he is just interested in sex, not a relationship. PLUS you say you lied to this boy about your age…so even you knew that you were too young for him. You should ask yourself if you had told him you were 14 from the start, would he have wanted to date you?!

I think at this point, you should move on, this situation with this guy is already bringing out a dishonest side of you….not only have you lied to your mom about him, but you’ve lied to the guy about your age. So my suggestion would be to drop this guy (it will be really hard I know) but it will save you a lot of heart ache in the future.

xoxo

Katie

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“Hey!

I need some good advice… Every time I think of what I want to do in the future, I get a really sick feeling in my stomach, because I don’t know if I would have a chance in what I want to do. My heart belongs to singing and acting. When I see people, I put myself into their feet, and when I do, it’s like so amazing how much I could feel into their situations.

Everyone in my family know that I have an amazing strong voice, and they know that I love to pretend to be something else, but since I haven’t been showing as much of my compassion for a loooong time( since I was way young), I kinda feel like they don’t care, and don’t know what I am dreaming and chasing of. I have been through a lot the past four years in my life, including my insecurities, my mind, my family, and people around me. So when I think of having the future I dream of, I get that sick feeling in my stomach, like I am obviously not good enough. I guess it’s bad when I feel like I could throw up when I think of what I would hope to do in the future!!!?!!!

I am always the one, no one bothers looking at, and if they do, it’s like such a “what are you doing, and who cares about you.” So when I dream of what I want, I feel like it’s not possible because of feeling insecure. (like the looks that everyone gives me) Maybe if I were to audition for something sometime, I feel like I could sooo do it, because if I didn’t feel so insecure, and were more confident, they could just see the earthly, lively, strong sensibility in me!!!!!

I really need help on feeling confident on who I am, and I really need help about my mood changing drastically( even when I listen to music), And I also need help on how to not let people getaway with stepping right over me (mentally and definitely verbally, like things to say or do)

Thank you sooooo much for reading my long letter,lololololol”

~ Tamara, 14

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Dear Tamara,

You are definitely NOT alone in feeling this way. I have come to find that WE are our OWN worst enemy! And this is true with ALL people, myself included. Usually the person holding us back most from our dreams is ourselves! This may sound crazy but it is SO true! Think about it, ddoubting yourself is the only thing standing between you and your dreams! And YOU are the only one who can change that! “How?!” you might ask…well this is the tricky part. Its hard to just tell yourself to be confident and then you will be confident, it just doesn’t happen that way.

So start with baby steps. If you start telling yourself negative things such as, “I am not good enough” or “my family doesn’t believe in me” etc. try to realize that they are not true. That you are lying to yourself and start telling yourself how beautiful your voice is and that you ARE good enough. Tell yourself you can be a singer…and BELIEVE it! You believe yourself when you tell yourself those negative things, so why not try to believe that good things you tell yourself?! And if you don’t want to get any input from your family, in fear that they may give you negative feedback, then hold back from singing around them until you feel confident enough to not care what they think.

Confidence is not something that happens over night. So give yourself a break! No one else thinks of you the way you think of yourself. No one would even talk to you the way you talk to yourself. (and this is true with EVERYONE!) We are the most critical or ourselves than anyone else in the world! And being aware of this is the first step. That way when you start having these negative thoughts and insecurities you will know that it is not REAL and that you are being WAY to hard on yourself.

The truth is, you can be ANYTHING you want to be. You have a talent when it comes to singing and that is NOT a talent that most of people have. You have been BLESSED with a beautiful voice now EMBRACE it! Go join a choir or singing group and get back into it. You will find that when you sing you will feel that passion again.

Singing makes you happy….so SING your heart out!
xoxo

Katie

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“Hey I am 15 and I am getting into a serious relationship. All my friends including my boyfriend want to go out to the movies or bowling or something but my parents are so protective! I never get to go do anything like that and when I ask my mom just tells me I am to young to date or I can only go if she goes! I don’t want her to go because that would be embarrassing!

What should I do? I read in another question kind of like this that you said to earn their trust! I believe I have their trust because I never lie to them about where I am going or what I am doing (when I get to go)…

I think most of the reason that I can’t go is because of my boyfriend but I have told them nothing is going to happen between me and him there will not be any sex or anything like that! But they just don’t understand and think that things are the same as when they were my age! Can you help?”

~Haelee, 15

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Dear Haelee,

I can see that your parents really care about you and are trying to protect you from what they went through at your age…but as a 15 year old, that can be a real drag! So here is what you can try doing… Your mom said you can’t go out with him unless she goes, maybe she is just scared of the two of you being alone together.

So arrange a group outing like maybe have several of your friends all go to the movies together that way it is a group of friends and he can go along too. This way it is not like a “date” and is more just a hang out and get to know each other thing. Your mom might be more comfortable knowing that you will be with other people and not just one on one with him.

xoxo

Katie

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“Hi Katie,

My boyfriend asked if I still love him? What sould I do?

~Abby, 15

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Dear Abbey,

Your boyfriend is asking you if you still love him because he may have sensed a change in how you feel about him. You should really try and think about how you honestly feel about him…and if you really have to think hard to figure out if you love him, you probably arn’t in love.

And thats ok! So be honest with him and with yourself and if you don’t have the same feelings discuss it with him and try to find out why your feelings changed.

Either way, if you want to still be with your boyfriend try to be as open and honest with him about your feelings for him. He is asking because he wants to know, so don’t be shy about sharing your feelings.

But if you no longer want to be with him, now is the time to end it if you don’t have the same feelings for him as he does for you. And if you do end it, go easy on the guy and try not to crush his heart.

xoxo

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“Hey! I’m almost sixteen my body changes have been up and down I’ve been getting pretty sick a lot lately and its affected my physical development a lot.

How do I cope with my insecurities when every girl my age is curvy yet help myself appear better.”

~ Steph, 15

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Dear Steph,

Yes, 16 can be a confusing age! Your body is going through so many changes it is hard not to get insecure about it. The best thing you can do is to embrace your curves and changes in your body, and not try to hide them. If you try to hide them by squishing down your boobs or wearing clothes that are too small or constrictive, it will only make your curves and boobs more obvious.

And you said you have been sick off and on, so I’m not sure what sickness you are referring to, but most of the time it wont interrupt your physical growth and development too much. If you continue to be concerned talk to your doctor about it and if there is anything he can do to help you develop properly.

So maybe it’s time for some new clothes that fit you better not that your body has changed. Since your sixteenth birthday is coming up, see if you mom will take you shopping for some cute bras and clothes that embrace your new beautiful body!?!

I hope this helps! Good luck sweetie!

xoxo

Katie

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“Hi Katie,

“I like this guy and his friends have asked him if he likes me and he says a little bit, yeah…But before they did when I texted him asking if he liked this other girl he is like a little bit and he kinda still likes me.

He says he doesn’t know who to date but he is leaning towards going out with her first because we will see each other more during lacrosse..And I told him I wasn’t going to just wait for him…and he said he doesn’t know for sure yet.

Then when I told my bff (whose a guy) like almost a week after it about it he asked him if he actually did like this girl and he said no..But my friend asked him like maybe a week after it all…So I don’t know!? This guy is also like really shy and acts so different around just me then he does when were with other people. My two girl bff’s say he is scared cause he has never had a girlfriend but I don’t know what to do..

Today in study hall he asked me if I was going to his game in Watertown at like noon. But I told him maybe and he said ok..But he like always stares at me and flirts(??),and punches me(that is good),I just don’t know for sure if he likes me or what…I really need help!!!”

~ Zendel, 13

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Dear Zendel,

Sounds like he likes you but doesn’t really know how to show it. Some guys can get really awkward when they are around girls they like and send mixed signals like this guy is doing to you. He asked you to come watch his game, so he is making some effort. Plus you say he is flirting with you.

So maybe try not asking him so directly “Do you like me?” Cause that is a blunt question that is hard for anyone to answer with out feeling really vulnerable after…ya know what I mean?! Like if a guy asked you, “Do you like me?” Would you be able to flat out say “Yes!’ even if you did really like him? I know I wouldn’t give a straight answer.

You should just keep hanging out with him, and when he invites you to go do something with him, GO! See where it leads, maybe once he gets to know you more he will open up more and not be so shy.

xoxo

Katie

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“There’s this boy I like at my school and he just broke up with my friend, but I think my friend only went out with him because she knew I liked him.

I really like this boy and I want to ask him out. But I dont know how to. We dont even talk so that’s even worse. How should I go about asking him out?”

~ Aminah, 16

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Dear Aminah,

Since your friend just broke up with this guy it is probably not the best time to be asking him out. You don’t know for sure if she went out with him just because you liked him or not… it is very possible that you both just liked the same guy. So be a good friend to her and be there for her after her break up. If you just broke up with a guy, would you want your friend to ask him out right away?

So let some time go by and if you are still friends with this girl ask her if she would be ok with you going out with him. I’m not saying you need her permission, but if she is a good friend of yours you should take her feelings into consideration and make sure that she is over him before you ask him out. Otherwise you may end up losing a good friend.”

xoxo

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“Hi, My parents fight alot at home. When I was 11 I got really sick and the doctors said that I had a severe case of anxiety about my parents. (honestly, I don’t even remember worrying about it back then, but that’s beside the point). Anyway, they stopped for a while, but now they’re back at fighting.

They always insist that they won’t break-up, but the fights are so bad sometimes that I wonder wether or not the only reason they haven’t broken up is because they’re worried about something happening to me like when I was 11.

What do you think? What should I do?”

~ Samantha, 14

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“Dear Samantha,

I can totally relate to this question. My parents were the same way! They fought all the time but always told me they would never get divorced. I was almost kinda hoping they would get divorced just so they would stop fighting! Anyways, it is hard having to listen to them fight, I know. But the hardest thing for you to do is going to be realizing that there is noting you personally can do to stop them from actually fighting.

It is your parents relationship between each other and only they have control over their actions. I remember when I was 15, my sister and I finally sat my parents down and talked to them about their fighting and set bondaries with them. The bondaries were that they could not fight around us or any where that we could hear them. And that when they were mad at each other they couldn’t talk badly about each other. So maybe you can sit down with them and let them know that you are worried about them fighting. Just open up the doors to communication between you and your parents and set some boundaries so that you don’t have to be around the fighting anymore.

So I realize that this does not solve the problem of your parents fighting, I don’t think that is within your control and that you can actually make them stop. If they are going to fight, they’re going to fight. But at least if you set boundaries and make them aware of how their fighting effects you…then at least you will not have to listen to it or be around it.

Unfortunatly we can not control other people’s actions, so your parents may or may not respect these bondaries. All you can do is try.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to realize that you are not causing any of this and that their problems are separate from you. They want the best for you, they are just caught up in their own drama right now.”

xoxo

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Okay, so this boy is my ex and we talk all the time. He says he likes me and I sure do like him too. But he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now.

I dont know what to do. Should I wait for him to be ready? Or should i just move on? What should i do?

~ Maddy, 14

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Dear Maddy,

My motto is this:

Ex’s are Ex’s for a REASON!

So there is probably a reason he is your ex-boyfriend and not your current boyfriend.

If he’s not ready now, he may never be ready. So why waste your time waiting for him, that time may never come. Its ok to be friends with him but don’t invest anymore of your romantic feelings in him.

Move on to a fresh relationship with a guy who has mutually feelings for you! You will have a much more enjoyable experience rather than trying to figure this guy out or make him be your boyfriend again.

Good Luck Babe!

xoxo

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Hi Katie ~

I have been feeling really bad about myself lately, I feel like I am not pretty enough. My friends and parents tell me its not true, and that I am pretty.

But no matter how many times the reassure me I still feel ugly. What can I do to boost my self confidence?

Alyssa, 13

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Dear Alyssa,

You say that you have not been feeling good about yourself LATELY. This gives me a clue that you felt pretty before, and just recently have not been feeling so hot. Your family and friends are still seeing the same beautiful you as you used to see…but now for some reason your self confidence has dropped.

You may want to look at what has been going on in your life recently. Has something traumatic happened? Or is there something that you have done that is bothering you or that you feel guilty about? These are some questions to ask yourself.

I can relate, I know for myself that if I do something that goes against my conscience, I will feel guilty and not feel as good about myself.

Also, I see that you are 13, and I remember when I was 13 I was going through tons of physical changes. So maybe these changes are making you feel unpretty. Or maybe you are comparing yourself to other girls and seeing in them what you wish you could be. But rest assure…these changes are for the good, you will only become more beautiful as you grow into your teen years. And try not to compare yourself to other girls…there will always be someone more beautiful, or rich, or intelligent…so why beat ourselves up over it?!

There are so many ways that you can increase your self confidence, and by confronting the thoughts and actions that are bringing your self esteem down is one way. And telling yourself Always remember to remind yourself of your positive qualities that make you beautiful…embrace these and you will exude with confidence =)

Write back if you have any other questions!

xoxo

Girl to Girl Talk

I don’t want to break up with him just yet, I need to advice on how I should approach our issue?   I’m almost 17 and my boyfriend and I have been on again off again for almost a year now. He came over a month ago and my mom got mad because she was concerned that he was using me. Then, once again he left! I think that I love him a lot.. But it has now been over a month since we have seen each other!

Since last Wednesday our communication just stopped. I emailed him a lot over the past weekend and I do feel like I shouldn’t have! He finally responded me saying; that he was sorry that he didn’t write back, but I have to calm down. He said he was occupied at work and working out at the Gym. He said that I have to stop being so obsessive, and that his phone is getting fixed. (Sounds like a lot of excuses) But he’s sorry that he didn’t respond and said we’ll talk soon.

It’s been over a week since we’ve had an actual phone conversation and I feel so hurt. He did tell me previously that he loves me. I sent him back an email last Sunday that I was sorry and I’ll give him space. I want this to work out with him and I’m a very patient person, but I feel like my patience is running out.

I need your help please!! I want to call him and try to get him to work things out face to face. However, how do I tell him that over the phone?

I need your help how to approach this. Please help me!!

Thank you.  Mica

Dear Mica,

I honestly have to say that you should move on…this guy just doesn’t seem like he is that into you anymore.

You should find a guy who is emotionally and physically available for you and who wants to put forth effort to see you and call you and not make you wonder if he is still into you or not.

Sometimes we want what we cant have, and I think this may be a classic case of this. I don’t think you really love him, I think you just really desire him because he is inaccessable to you.

I have been there too, and its a lot easier said then done, but the best thing you can do is let this guy go and over time you will eventually forget about him.

Good luck sweetie!

xoxo

Dear Girl to Girl,

I’m dying my hair dark brown for Halloween its the temporary 10 day color.

Do u think it’s a good idea?? Does dark brown turn out different of dirty blonde hair?

Olivia

Dear Olivia,

Honestly I think it is a bad idea. The temporary hair color will not wash out completly in 10 days. When they say “10 days” they mean it will look like that brown color for 10 days before it starts to fade to a less brown color.

If I were you I wouldn’t risk ruining your hair color just for halloween. Instead you could get a cute brown synthetic wig or the hair paint that washes out when you take a shower.

Good luck!

Katie

Dear Kate,

My Ex-boyfriend has no life so he has decided to invent tales about me that are not true, so what should I do?

It seems like everyone is asking me about it like they believe what they are hearing and I am having to constantly prove that the rumors are not true?

How can I get him to stop? Peace & Luv, Chloe

.

Dear Chloe,

The best thing you can do is let it go…

What this guy wants is for you to get upset and hurt over this, so don’t let him. The more energy and attention you give it the more you are giving this guy what he wants.

So just let it go and even make light of it and joke about it, that will probably piss him off more than anything because he is trying to get you to react…and when you don’t react the way he anticipated you would, he will be frustrated and annoyed.

xoxo

Dear Girl to Girl Talk,

I need to know because I feel like I’m completely on my own and I’ve lost everything that was ever important to me. I’m not suicidal just so you know. All I ever want is to be alone and I shut everyone out. I’m failing most of my subjects and I can’t bring myself to actually bother anymore.

I’ve never had a boyfriend and I feel lonely. I’m not even ugly, it’s not fair. I’ve been picked on and bullied by my friends for no reason ever since I can remember and there’s nothing I can do about it.

If I don’t have them, I feel like I don’t have anyone.

My parents are divorced and I hate my dad for reasons I won’t go into. Please give me some advice. I’ve never told anyone this before as there isn’t anyone I know that I can trust. Please don’t tell me to call childline or anything like that.

I’ve tried to be strong and put on a brave face but I can’t do it anymore. I’m 14, nearly 15 and I don’t want to grow up not letting anyone in and hating everything and everyone.

~ Savannah
.


Dear Savannah

A. I think that it starts with loving yourself and finding the good qualities that you have and focusing on them.

Someone once told me that you will only allow others to treat you as bad as you treat yourself. Which is so true!

If you begin treating yourself with love and kindness than that is all you will expect from others, and anything less you will not and should not tolerate.

My advice would be to find a hobby or sport that you really love and you will meet new people who have similar interests and who treat you better than the friends you have now who bully you.

Hope it gets better for you =)

Much Luv,

xoxo

~
Hi Katie,

I just turned 18 and am a senior in highschool. I have a crush on a teacher, but he is NOT currently my teacher, he teaches freshmen and I am a senior.

Is it okay to date a teacher if they’re not “your” professor?

How do I know if it’s against the school guidelines, or it’s the same in all schools? And if it is ok, how do I approach him?

He’s not married and there’s a little age difference, he is in his mid 20′s. ~Megan
.

Dear Megan,

Is he into you too? If you really like him and you think that he has similar feelings, you should follow your heart. But take it slow and get to know each other better before you rush into anything.

Just take it day by day and see what happens….if you start dating and it gets more serious you should discuss with him if there are any consequences for student/teacher dating in highschool. You don’t want to jeopardize his career or yours….so if you are a senior then you should be graduated soon and maybe then you can be in a more serious relationship then.

I do know a girl who dated one of her teachers in college (different than highschool but I think is relevant) and they have been together 3 years now and just got engaged (she just graduated last spring)…but their relationship is still kept very “hush, hush” and not a lot of people know, especially at the school, so that tells me that there are probably some rules that discourage or maybe even forbid it.

But if you really like this guy a lot, like I said before you should follow your heart, it may end up being love. Just don’t jeopordize his or your future careers…it may be best to wait a year until you graduate and see then if you still have the same feelings.

xoxo

Hi Katie,

So I am worried if I am fat..I am 13 and I weigh 130 pounds is that fat??? What is the best way to lose weight???

I have thought about going bulimic and anorexic but I know that’s really unhealthy.
And I want to go to the gym but I have no time. Any other ways I can lose weight? ~ Sydney
~

Dear Sydney

You are healthy and that is great! If you want to lose weight or just stay in shape join a fun class at the gym, or get active in sport you love.

Whatever you do, do not go to any drastic measures like bulimia or anorexia….these are diseases that can permanently damage your body and your mind. It will become an obsession and struggle for the rest of your life.

Your health will suffer severe consequences; you can develop heart problems, infertility, mal nutrition, osteoporosis, and many other problems.

You say you don’t have time to exercise, but even just incorporating activity into your day like going on a couple of short 15 minute walks, or joining a softball league and practice once a week you should be just fine.

Please take my advice and don’t get too obsessive over it…it will only be a really hard and long road ahead of you if you do.

Much love,

Katie

Hi Katie,

Just wondering if songs ever remind you of things? There are a few songs that everytime they come on remind me of a guy I really like.

Does the same thing happen to you?

Brooke
~

Hi Brooke,

Yes, it’s funny how a certain song can bring you back to a moment in your life and you can see that memory like it was yesterday, and it even makes you feel a certain way.

One song for me is “Hotel California” by the Eagles….for some reason that song always brings back a memory and feeling for me. I love how music can do that! So maybe you were with or thinking about the guy you like when that song came on and that is why you are reminded of him.

I took a psychology class in college and learned that is actually a type of hypnotism. The song is the trigger and the emotion and memory is the conditioned response. Very interesting topic!

xoxo

Katie
Girl to Girl Talk

Hi Girls,

I definitely think it is better to be yourself than to not be yourself. And who says being yourself will make you any less popular?

I think if you are truly comfortable with whom you are and confident in being yourself you will attract far more people than if you are fake and trying to be someone you are not.

I think finding yourself and the comfort and inner peace that comes with knowing who you are and what you stand for is one of the greatest feelings, and know popularity contest will ever feel that great. I think it would just feel wrong because deep down you know that you are not being yourself.

Anyways, I think that being fake all the time just to find popularity and attract certain people as friends, I would have to stop and think about the types of friends I am attracting.

I would much rather have one really sincere friend rather than 30 superficial friends who like me for someone I am not.

Interesting topic, thanks for bringing that up!

xoxo

Katie
Girl to Girl Talk