Hey Katie,
I have been a vegetarian for a month and a week now. My family thinks its fine, their totally supporting me. But I’m the only one in my family who is a vegetarian. I’ve tried to persuade them, but they keep saying it’s not for me and all that stuff. So I’m ok with that now, since it’s their choice.

My actual question is that I’ve been dieting and not eating any junk food for a month now. And I plan on still doing it. And I’ve been doing vigorous exercises. All this is to lose weight. I’m 107 right now. I plan on going to 95.

My parents have found out I was on this diet, and they keep telling me I can get hurt, I know I can but I know my extremes. I don’t know if I should listen to them or do my own thing? Any help?

Andrea, 13

Dear Andrea,

Being a vegetarian is a perfectly fine decision to make if that’s what you want to do. Like you said, it’s a personal choice and you can’t convince your friends to want to become vegetarians too. But it sounds like you are becoming a vegetarian to lose weight too.

It’s really easy to start dieting and just want to lose a few pounds and then lose control and obsess over it. A simple diet can become a strict diet where you count every calorie and gram of fat in your food until suddenly that’s all you think about. So just be cautious and aware of what can happen, and that it is very hard to stop once you start thinking about food in this way.

My suggestion to you is if you want to be vegetarian, do it for health reasons, such as you want to be healthy and eat nutritious food. Don’t do it to lose pounds on the scale. The scale does not measure how healthy you are and it is easy to get attached to those numbers and not see that you are risking your health to be a few pounds lighter. If you are focusing on giving your body what it needs, no more and no less, then your body will find its healthy weight on its own.

Many friends of mine have had issues with food and dieting and have had obscured views of what they should and shouldn’t eat, and all of them who have gotten past it have all said they are much happier with their bodies when they aren’t trying count every calorie.

The truth is, if you starve your body, your metabolism will slow way down and you will gain weight more easily because your body wants to hold onto every calorie it can get! This is bad and in the long run you can end up becoming over weight because your body is storing food that it would normally burn because it is afraid of starving itself.

Realize that curves on a woman are beautiful and give her a womanly shape. Guys like this! Guys don’t like girls that are twigs and look like skeletons. So try not to look at your scale to determine what weight you should be…look in the mirror to see how your body proportions look.

And keep in mind that at your age of 14 you are at a vital time for developing into a woman and if you restrict yourself too much on this diet you may end up stunting your growth and not develop properly (i.e. your height and breasts). So give your body a chance to develop properly. Vegetables and exercise are great and healthy choices, just remember to nourish your body, and don’t deprive it.

Dear Katie,

I have a problem with two guys. One guy lives in my neiborhood and the other guy I met at my house because my dad and my mom had a party. Their names are Eddie and Stevan. I really like them both but I have no idea if they like me back. And they are Spanish like me and they come to my house a lot.

Stevan (the one that I like) was showing off in front of me trying to impress me, but I was playing with my friends outside. Then they came outside and Eddie started showing off too. I don’t know if they like me for sure. And if they do like me, I have no I idea who I should choose. I need help please.

Gabby

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Dear Gabby,

From what you have said, it sounds like they both might like you. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a guy really likes you or is just being friendly. You say they both come over a lot, are they there to see you or hang out at your parent’s parties? If they are coming over just to see you then they definitely like you.

Another sign is when Stevan was showing off (which guys do when they like a girl) it is quite possible that he was trying to impress you and your friends. And as far as you picking which guy to like, that is something you have to do for yourself. Which guy do you think about and like to hang out with and talk to better?

So over the next couple weeks, when they come over to your house, see which guy you feel more comfortable with and like to talk to and be around. This will help you decide which one you like best.

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Hello Katie! (:

Well lately, all of a sudden I started to break out. I uberly hate acne and epecially acne scars. The situation isn’t very bad. But you can tell even when I try to cover it with makeup.

I still want to get it solved before it gets worse because I don’t feel as pretty and confident about myself. So I was wondering if you have any home remedy for getting rid of acne and acne scars.

-Alexis, 14

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Dear Alexis,

There is definetly nothing worse then acne because there is no true cure for it. Sometimes no matter what you do it still happens so I can see your frustration. I have a friend who has always had really bad acne and she used to try and cover it up by using a lot of thick makeup and foundation…but it always ended up looking caked on and accentuated her acne making it more noticeable rather than covering it up!

So then she started using that all natural mineral makeup (like Bare Minerals) over the last year and her skin looks SO much better. She still has some acne when she washes off the makeup, but when she is wearing it, her skin looks amazing!

And as far as remedies you can do yourself, here are a few tips for keeping your skin clear and healthy:

Use a face wash and lotion for sensitive skin. Most people think they have to use creams with stonger ingredients which ends up irritating their skin even more! I love Oil of Olay face lotion for sensitive skin and their disposible mosturising face cloths! They make your skin feel amazing without any irritation.

Also avoid eating a lot of oily or greesy foods like fried foods, pizza, or chocolate. Your diet has a lot to do with your skin! So make sure to eat nutritious food, drink lots more water, and eat less greesy foods and your skin will clear up in no time!

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Hi Katie,

Me and this guy both like each other and we want to go out but my bestfriend doesn’t want me to… she should be more understanding but the thing is she likes him too!

What should I do? Who should I pick, bestfriend or boyfriend?

~Zaiah, 13

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Dear Zaiah,

Well thats not really cool of your bestfriend to put you in that situation to where you would have to chose between her or him.

If the guy is obviously into you and not your friend, then there is really no reason for you not to date him. Just because your friend is jealous and disappointed that he doesn’t like her is not a good enough reason to not date him. If she is truley your best friend she will want what is best for you and what makes you happy.

Give her a week or two and she will get over it…she just got her ego hurt a little! So try not to rub it in that he picked you and not her. Be understanding and try to remember she just got rejected.

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Dear Girl Talk,

I’m in a bit of a mess, theres rumours going round school about how I have ‘hairy armpits’ and stuff.

Truth is i dont know how to get rid of it.

~Tamsin, 15

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Dear Tamsin,

The way to get rid of hairy underarms is SUPER easy! Just buy a razor and when you are in the shower shave your entire underarm! You are at the age where you should start making this part of your daily hygine routine…cause girl, hairy arm pits are definetly not sexy!

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Hi Katie,

Ok I went to a dance with this guy I like but then he had to leave early and then this other guy that was at the dance that I also like started dancing with me and from the looks of it, it looked like he likes me.

It’s been three days since then and he is always being so nice and flirty with me but I don’t know if he is just being friendly or is trying to give me a sign that he likes me. Please help.

~Shanna, 14

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Dear Shanna,

He totally likes you! Guys are really nice and flirty only when they are into a girl. It is very probable that both guys actually like you!

Guys wont approach a girl and dance with her if they don’t think shes attractive. So sounds like the guy that is still flirting with you is REALLY into you…so maybe the question you should be asking now is:

Do You Like Him Back?!

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To Katie,

I’m 14 and a half and I’m still almost completely flat chested, and obviously don’t have my period yet. I do have pubic hair, but I am still worried and embarrassed about my body all the time.

I know my mum didn’t get her period till she was 15, but I don’t know how to talk to her about this to ask when she got proper boobs or if I should be worried. Should I be? please help!

~Lauren, 14

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Dear Lauren,

I was a late developer too! So I totally understand your worries. All your girl friends are getting their periods and developing boobs.

I think that since your mom started late, it is a very good chance you will start late too due to your genetics. You wont start developing your boobs until you’ve had your period, and it is perfectly normal for you to not have started yet. I was 14 1/2 when I started mine. Usually your boobs will develop into a similar size to your mother’s.

You probably want to ask her to see when she started to develop to get a good idea of what you can expect to go through. And I know that can be an awkward conversation for sure! So one way is to mention that you want to get a bra and then she may start talking about girl stuff with you. You can just say, so were you my age when you got your first bra? Then once you are on the subject you can bring up your period too.

Plus, she is your mother and will be more than happy to help guide you through this stage of your life! So give her the opportunity to share her experience with you.

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“I have shoulder length & relatively thick hair. It’s naturally straight but it looks best curly. I have curlers but when I curl my hair it never stays curled for the entire day so that by 5th period my hair is just a mess.

What can I do to keep my hair curled?”

Pauline, 15

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Dear Pauline,

To keep your hair curled you can do a couple of tricks. First spray your hair with hairspray before you curl it. Then use a really hot curling iron (either 1′ or 1.5′) and wrap your hair around it starting from one end of the iron and wrapping in a spiral pattern down the iron so that the entire strand of hair you are curling touches the iron.

When done curling spray all hair once again with hairspray to give them a longer lasting hold (I like the aerosol kind of hairspray).

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Hey Katie,

First I want to say all the advice you have given is very helpful, Thanks so much! My question is, how to make out with a boy?

I’m too embarrassed to ask my mom, and my sister is in college. Please help!!!

~ Morgan

Dear Morgan,

Great question! It’s scary thinking about the first time you are going to kiss a guy or make out with him. Wondering what to do and hope you are doing it right. But here’s the thing…he is even MORE nervous than you! The pressure is really on him to kiss well…not you! So now that I have hopefully eased your nerves about it, here are some simple tips to help your first kiss go smoothly!

Once your lips touch keep your mouth slightly open, just as you would when you are popping a grape into your mouth. You don’t wanna open it too wide then it is like your trying to swallow his face or something…which is not very sexy! Then let him lead and you follow. Meaning let him move his lips and you just try to follow his lips. As you do it more you will get more comfortable with the way he kisses. All guys kiss differently so it can take several times of making out to get in sync with each other’s kiss.

And since you are just starting to make out and kiss guys, a great tip for you is LESS is MORE! Meaning that don’t try too hard at first. Like don’t use your tongue or start moving your lips all fast and hard. You are new to this so ease into it and let him do all the work, you just try to follow along with him.

“How can I feel pretty when I’m just so ugly?

I go to an all girl’s school and everybody there is skinny,athletic tall and really pretty.And I’m the complete opposite.

I’m short and ugly and flabby and no matter how hard i try i can’t lose weight.Everyone there has had multiple boyfriends and I haven’t even talked to a guy since primary school.if i had boobs it wouldn’t be as bad but everyone assumes that small boobs mean athletic body,except in my case. Can you Help? Thanks!

Emily, 13

Dear Emily,

Here is the thing, at your age, you think that the way you look now is the way you are going to look like forever, but that is so NOT true! I look much prettier now than when I was your age! Some girls talk longer to develop and find their best look. Looking back now at some of the girls I grew up with it is funny to see how they turned out now that we are in our twenties. Many of the girls who were skinny and pretty are now HUGE, and many of the girls that were a little chunky have now lost weight and look amazing!

Now is not the time for you to be focusing on guys anyway. You are in an all girls school so use your time to focus on other things that you are good at and have fun! I think you need some sort of theme or hobby in your life. Something that makes you feel good when you do it. Like a sport, or art, or dance, or music, or even find your own unique style! This will really help you develop a confidence in yourself and your abilities that aren’t based solely on your looks (which don’t last anyways)
Over time, as you start eating better and exercising a little and as time goes by, by the time you are in your twenties you will have lost weight the healthy way and feel great about your looks and your inner self.

So try not to look at your situation like your doomed because over time as you work on you positive attitude and inner confidence (based on things other than your looks) everyone gets old and loses their looks anyway, so why not develop your confidence based on something that will last forever!? So find something you are really good at and put your energy into that rather than worrying about your looks. If you keep comparing yourself to other girls, you will never feel good enough, because there will always be a girl out there that is a little better looking.

Hey, I’m 12 and my parents hate it when I wear makeup but I never feel pretty without it and when I don’t have it on I feel self concsious.

I only wear compact powder and a little bit of natural coloured blush none of the colours are retro or anything their all natural and I wear the odd mascara even tho my folks don’t think I should I still do. And I feel bad but I cant help it do u think its ok or should I low down on the makeup I am in year 7 by the way so I am in high school if that makes a difference.

Jess, 12

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Dear Jess,

Your parents will ALWAYS think you are perfectly beautiful without any makeup and that you don’t need it. Mine are the same way! However, I can relate to what your saying, I feel much better about my looks when I have my makeup on than when I’m not wearing any. I didn’t start wearing makeup until I was 14, but I know girls are starting to wear it younger now at 12 and 13. It sounds like your makeup you are currently wearing is pretty natural and not overdone, which is great. You are on the right track. Your parents probably feel that you are too young to wear any, but they will have to accept the fact one day, as you grow up you are going to start wearing it at some point.

If your parents are really forbidding it and you will get in trouble for wearing it, then by all means DON’T wear it, I don’t want you to get into trouble. But, if they are somewhat flexible and just disapprove rather than forbid it…maybe you can ask your mom if you could get a makeup lesson to learn how to do your makeup the right way to enhance your looks rather than look like you are wearing makeup. Maybe your parents would be more open to something like this that way they know if you wear makeup it will look good. A lot of beauty salons offer this type of service.

You can also tell them that you know that they think your beautiful without it, but you really like how you look with it and that it makes you feel more confident with your looks. Be honest with them about your feeling insecure without it. If your mom wears makeup then she will be able to relate to what you are saying. Most women that wear makeup feel the EXACT same way as you do, and they feel prettier with makeup than without makeup. So your mom may understand best on how you feel and be able to see your point of view better if you talk to her openly about it.

Hope this helped! Good luck sweetie=)

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“Hey Katie,

I’m having a problem with guys. There is one that likes me and I don’t know how I feel about him. And the other I like and he said he likes me too! But he just got back together with his ex-girlfriend.

Both of them are really sweet and the second guy (the one that just got back together with his ex) I’ve known since 6th grade. I’m so confused about my feelings and I don’t know what to do! The first guy called me last night asking if I wanted to go to a movie on Saturday and I said I had to get back to him about it.

But I don’t know what to do! I’m just so confused on my feelings! What do I do? How do I figure it out? And all together with that… How do I Get my dad to stop being so in my face. He won’t give me space! Any advice?”

Madison, 15

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Dear Madison,

You should just date the first guy you are dating now. Don’t date the other guy that got back with his ex girlfriend. You don’t wanna get involved with him, he is working on his relationship with his ex girlfriend. The first guy asked you to them movies and is obviously interested in you, so go for him! He is definitely the better choice of the two.

And about your Dad, that is what Dads are best at! Sounds like he is all up in your business, but he really just cares. Sometimes Dads have a funny way of showing it though. Moms are more sensitive and loving, but Dads are usually less emotional and harsh when it comes to parenting, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. So just try to stay on his good side and try not to get into too much trouble, then he should back off a little.

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Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four years now and I just started noticing that he likes blondes, which upsets me because I have black hair. All the celebrities that he notices and points out are blonde and people who he used to have crushes on in the past are blonde.

My self-esteem and self-confidence have disappeared because having black hair is something I can’t change. He won’t admit that he likes blondes but how can I gain my self-esteem back if all the girls he likes are blonde and none of them look like me?

Nancy, 19

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Dear Nancy,

People often think they have a “type” but then they meet someone completely different and find that they like that type better than the type they once thought they liked! I always dated blonde hair, blue eyed, all-American looking guys. But then I met a guy that was ethnic looking with black hair and I ended up falling for him! I didn’t think he was my type at first but I ended up liking him MORE than any of the blonde guys I dated in the past.

Just because he admires blonde hair on celebrities, doesn’t mean that it is the only quality in a girlfriend that he wants. You may have ALL of the other qualities he is looking for…such as your heart, personality and sense of humor! Which in my opinion is WAY more important than a person’s hair color!

So before you get the urge to turn blonde(lol) take a look at how he treats you and the other qualities that he loves about you. That will give you a much better view of the whole picture and you will see all the other positive qualities you bring to the table in your relationship.

If your boyfriend is good to you and treats you with love, respect and admiration than try to focus on those aspects of the relationship. He probably doesn’t wanna say that his “type” was blonds in the past because that would obviously hurt your feelings since you have black hair…and he doesn’t want to make you feel bad.

So try to recognize that he does see beauty in you…if not he wouldn’t have been with you for four years now!

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“Hi Katie,

There is a guy that me and my friend like and he asked me out in front of her.. and I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend to go out with me.

My friend says hes a jerk for doing that and his girlfriend was friends with my friend and she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore and we’re all good friends. What should I do??”

~Zaiah

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Dear Zaiah,

Well she is friends with the girl he broke up with, so I can see why she may think he is a jerk…plus she liked him and he asked YOU out instead…so of course she is not jumping for joy.

So try not to let her make you feel bad for dating him…as long as you are happy with him and he treats you well your friend will see that maybe he is an OK guy and start talking to him again. She is also probably looking out for you and doesn’t want him to do the same thing he did to her other friend, and dump you for someone else.

My advice to you is to proceed with caution with this guy, but be aware that your friend is just trying to be a friend to you and she may also be a little disappointed that he didn’t like her. So don’t be mad at her and when she doesn’t want to hang out or talk to this guy, try to understand her point of view and why she may not want to. When you hang out with her, just don’t bring him along or talk about him the whole time.

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“”I like this guy in all of my classes. But every single friend I have hates him. And people say he likes one of my friends who especially hates him. We talk a lot, and yesterday we were in a computer lab and he was next to me, and we were sitting really close because he was on my computer.

We were playing a game, and two guys came to us and were like, ‘Dude, you’re hitting on her!’ And he looked at them, then at me and didn’t say anything. I’ll look at him, then he’ll turn around to look at me. He helps me when I pretend not to understand things, and we have real conversations,We talk a lot, and even though were only in 8th grade, I think we could make a relationship work.

I want to get his number but I’m not sure how. Should I even try or not?”

~Taylor, 13

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Dear Taylor,

Sounds like you may want to get to know him better and hang out with him (away from your friends) in order to get to know him a better. Because then you will be able to see if your friends are just being judgemental or if there is a reason that they don’t all like him. Try not to pay attention to your friends not liking him…if you like him that is what really maters. (unless they hate him because he is mean to them, then you may want to look into why your friends feel the way they do, they might be warning you about him). But that doesn’t really sound like the case….I will leave that up to you to judge for yourself.

And about exchanging numbers…If you get his number…just stay FRIENDS for a while…don’t rush into any type of relationship or anything. You are thinking too far ahead about having a working relationship with him because you are still getting to know this guy. A relationship will happen in time if you and him end up both really liking each other. Plus what if you get to know him better and don’t really like him…it will be much easier to stop hanging out with him if you are just FRIENDS.

Being friends first will also make it MUCH easier for you to get his number and get to know him better because you are just hanging out as FRIENDS. Plus you could always give him your number if you are afraid to ask him for his. And when you get his number or give him yours have a reason to do so. For example if you guys were going to his house to play video games or something that he would do with a FRIEND it wont be awkward to exchange numbers.

Katie

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“Hi Katie,
I mega like this guy and he will flirt but then when he is with his friends he acts like nothing happened. We have gone out before and it went really but he dumped me because he didn’t want a girlfriend over Christmas! grrr anyway…..

He likes my best friend and I have tried everything I can think of to get his attention, got any ideas??? Even his best friend has tired to convince him!! Should I just give up and take it he doesn’t like me???”

Laura, 13

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Dear Laura,

Sounds like you should move on. You can’t really MAKE anyone like you…and it sounds like he is not really worth your time and effort of trying to make him like you. You say he flirted with you and then acted like nothing happened…do you think you may have mistaken friendliness with flirting? This is common sometimes and can make it seem more complicated than it really is.

You also say that he likes you best mayte…then why are you trying to get his attention? Sounds like he is into your friend not you…so do yourself a favor and let him go. I’m sure there are other guys out there who would love to have you as a girlfriend….and those are the guys you want to put that kinda effort into! Trust me girl, it is no fun putting all that effort into someone who doesn’t appreciate it or want to return the same effort or feelings…it will only make you feel frustrated and sad.

Katie

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“Hi..this is my first time on here and i have been reading all the question but I’m not sure this one has been covered, well if it has I’m sorry! anyway, I need help I have two problems: How do shape your eyebrows??? I can’t do it!
Also thanks for the help of periods, i have realised that i will start soon, but you shouldn’t be in a hurry!! I’m getting there and some of my mates have started and i know i will I’m just smaller then them so i will be later!!
Lora, 13

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Dear Lora,

One of the best tips for shaping eyebrows is LESS IS MORE! I remember trying to pluck mine when I was about your age and I didn’t ask anyone how…I just kinda winged it! And I ended up plucking way more than I should have…which is VERY easy to do!

So be conservative in how much you pluck. It also depends on your natural eyebrows…do you have bushy ones or small ones? A good thing to do would be to go to a professional salon and have them shape them the first time for you (most hair salons or nail salons do this). Then after that you can just maintain them by plucking the stray hairs that grow back. I really wish I had done this before trying it on my own!

BUT if you would rather do it on your own…here are some basic guidelines of what you want to do. But please be very cautious because it is very easy to mess them up! Since eyebrows “frame” our eyes, they are an important feature of your face that enhance your eyes and can make them more bright and open.

Beginning of Eyebrow: Hold a pencil parallel to your nose,straight up-and-down and this will show you where the brow should begin. (most of the time your brow naturally begins here and there is no adjustment needed!

Arch: This is the highest point of the eyebrow and by holding a pencil from the edge of your nostril past the outer edge of your iris (the colored part of the eye) and up to the eyebrow you can pin point where the arch should be.

End of Eyebrow: The brow should end at the outer corner of your eye.

Katie

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I’m a skinny person and everyone says I’m anorexic when I’m not! I eat and I’m really healthy and I could live on salad! Anyway, I explained to them I was born two months early and I’m very small so I’m gonna be skinny but they don’t understand, What shall I do??

Laura, 13

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Dear Laura,

I had the exact same problem when I was younger! Everyone always thought I was too skinny, but I ate what ever I wanted, I just had a fast metabolism. I was also born early and have always been small. It sounds like you are really frustrated by what people are thinking.

And since you can’t change the way they think about you (maybe they are jealous and wish they were skinny too so they put you down…who knows) the only thing you can really change is your attitude. When they say “wow you are skinny” smile and say cheerfully “thanks!” like you are taking a compliment. Stay positive about it even when they are not and soon they will see that you are happy the way you are.

When you get defensive and upset by their comments, it only confirms their negative thoughts and they will think that they are right about you being anorexic. So don’t let them ruffle your features, be glad that you got a great metabolism because there are a lot of girls who have the opposite problem…they wish they WERE skinny like you.

Also, I’m glad I was able to shed some light on your period situation!

Katie

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“Hey, My boyfriend is 18 and my mum and sister found out after I fell asleep and left my msn on and he was talking to me- btw he wasn’t saying anything inappropriate, but it was obvious he’s my boyfriend as we have eachothe in our names and all that lol. At the time he thought I was 16 but my mum and sister spoke to him and told him I was 14 and to leave me alone and that. My mum went crazy at me, which btw I kinda expected and my sister sat down and had a chat with me (she thinks she knows everything about men) and told me all he wanted was sex etc. They told me to break up with him and everything so I lied and told them I would that night. Everything was ok for a few weeks and I secretly carried on talking to him on the phone and that.

Yesterday my mum went crazy at me again saying he knew I was still with him and that she was going to report us to the police- which I don’t understand as we do not have sex, because we’ve decided to wait til I’m legal, if I didn’t finish it with him that day, again I said I would, but I am in love with him, deeply and truly, I am very mature for my age and I don’t know what to do anymore. I can not break up with him, I really am in love with him and please don’t make judgements and tell me to break up with him or anything because I really can’t do that. I thought I could tell my sister anything but I really don’t know how to begin to tell her that I really do love him and I don’t care what they say, I’m not breaking up with him. please help girls”

xoxo Victoria, 14

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Dear Victoria,

This is definitely a tricky situation. If you continue to see this guy you are going against your mother’s wishes, but you really like this guy and don’t want to end it. So here is my advice. When I was 14, there was these two 18 year old guys that my friend and I met. We really liked them and thought it was sooo cool how they had cars and we could go places with them. It made me feel mature when I was with them. But looking back now….I see that they did not have a good intent for me or my friend. They were not interested in having a loving relationship, they just wanted to have sex!

So, your mother does make a good point when she questions his intent for you. She could be right that he is just interested in sex, not a relationship. PLUS you say you lied to this boy about your age…so even you knew that you were too young for him. You should ask yourself if you had told him you were 14 from the start, would he have wanted to date you?!

I think at this point, you should move on, this situation with this guy is already bringing out a dishonest side of you….not only have you lied to your mom about him, but you’ve lied to the guy about your age. So my suggestion would be to drop this guy (it will be really hard I know) but it will save you a lot of heart ache in the future.

xoxo

Katie

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“Hey!

I need some good advice… Every time I think of what I want to do in the future, I get a really sick feeling in my stomach, because I don’t know if I would have a chance in what I want to do. My heart belongs to singing and acting. When I see people, I put myself into their feet, and when I do, it’s like so amazing how much I could feel into their situations.

Everyone in my family know that I have an amazing strong voice, and they know that I love to pretend to be something else, but since I haven’t been showing as much of my compassion for a loooong time( since I was way young), I kinda feel like they don’t care, and don’t know what I am dreaming and chasing of. I have been through a lot the past four years in my life, including my insecurities, my mind, my family, and people around me. So when I think of having the future I dream of, I get that sick feeling in my stomach, like I am obviously not good enough. I guess it’s bad when I feel like I could throw up when I think of what I would hope to do in the future!!!?!!!

I am always the one, no one bothers looking at, and if they do, it’s like such a “what are you doing, and who cares about you.” So when I dream of what I want, I feel like it’s not possible because of feeling insecure. (like the looks that everyone gives me) Maybe if I were to audition for something sometime, I feel like I could sooo do it, because if I didn’t feel so insecure, and were more confident, they could just see the earthly, lively, strong sensibility in me!!!!!

I really need help on feeling confident on who I am, and I really need help about my mood changing drastically( even when I listen to music), And I also need help on how to not let people getaway with stepping right over me (mentally and definitely verbally, like things to say or do)

Thank you sooooo much for reading my long letter,lololololol”

~ Tamara, 14

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Dear Tamara,

You are definitely NOT alone in feeling this way. I have come to find that WE are our OWN worst enemy! And this is true with ALL people, myself included. Usually the person holding us back most from our dreams is ourselves! This may sound crazy but it is SO true! Think about it, ddoubting yourself is the only thing standing between you and your dreams! And YOU are the only one who can change that! “How?!” you might ask…well this is the tricky part. Its hard to just tell yourself to be confident and then you will be confident, it just doesn’t happen that way.

So start with baby steps. If you start telling yourself negative things such as, “I am not good enough” or “my family doesn’t believe in me” etc. try to realize that they are not true. That you are lying to yourself and start telling yourself how beautiful your voice is and that you ARE good enough. Tell yourself you can be a singer…and BELIEVE it! You believe yourself when you tell yourself those negative things, so why not try to believe that good things you tell yourself?! And if you don’t want to get any input from your family, in fear that they may give you negative feedback, then hold back from singing around them until you feel confident enough to not care what they think.

Confidence is not something that happens over night. So give yourself a break! No one else thinks of you the way you think of yourself. No one would even talk to you the way you talk to yourself. (and this is true with EVERYONE!) We are the most critical or ourselves than anyone else in the world! And being aware of this is the first step. That way when you start having these negative thoughts and insecurities you will know that it is not REAL and that you are being WAY to hard on yourself.

The truth is, you can be ANYTHING you want to be. You have a talent when it comes to singing and that is NOT a talent that most of people have. You have been BLESSED with a beautiful voice now EMBRACE it! Go join a choir or singing group and get back into it. You will find that when you sing you will feel that passion again.

Singing makes you happy….so SING your heart out!
xoxo

Katie

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“Hi! Should I be worried because I didnt get my period yet? And I’m almost going to be 13 soon and I need some advice!”

~ Heather, 12

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Dear Heather,

Do not worry sweetie! That is perfectly normal! I did not get my period until I was 14! Some girls start earler than others, but it does not mean anything if you start later than other girls. I was really active and skinny which I have learned can make you start your period at a later age than girls who are heavier. Girls who have a lot of body fat will often start their period at a much younger age…such as 11 and 12. So don’t worry one bit! You are perfectly healthy and will start your period within the next few years! And trust me, when you do you will wish it had gone longer without it, lol!

xoxo

Katie

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“Dear Katie,

How do I use a period pad and how do I tell my mum I started my period ?

please help me!” ~Laura, 14

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Dear Laura,

It is no secret that all girls get their period. I know that it can be a bit embarassing to bring up to your mother, but she is probably anticipating you to get your period since you are 14 now. Thats the same age I was when I got mine. Getting your period is exciting because it means you are becoming a woman…plus you get tol start wearing a bra too if you haven’t already!

Anyway, when using a pad, just peel off the side parts and line it up to your panty and stick on to hold tight. The box the pads come in usually have great visual instructions. Make sure to change periodically through out the day, depending on how heavy your flow is.

But you definetly should tell your mom right away…and just act excited when you tell her. I’m sure she will be glad and all women have it too so it’s not like you are weird or anything for having it!

“Hi Katie,

What do I do If I have a boyfriend that I like a lot, but also have an exboyfriend that I still like a lot?

Please write back :] thanks!!!!!!!”

~ Elizabeth, 13

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Dear Elizabeth,

Liking two guys at the same time is a good problem to have, lol! But it can be complicated. It happens a lot to people because they like one guy and connect with him but then they meet another guy they really connect with too! This is why people (guys and girls) end up cheating. Because they couldn’t make a choice to be with the person they are with…and end up liking two guys at once.

In your case here is what you should do. If you like them both the SAME…give your current boyfriend a chance and try to forget about your ex. Sometimes girls reminess about their past relationship and all the good times and start to remember why they liked that guy…they seem to forget about the reasons why they broke up. So remember that ex’s are ex’s for a reason, and you should try to remember why didn’t work out before, ask yourself why it might work a second time with him?

So here’s the thing, I’m sure you already know, but you need to make a decision. Decide which guy to like and put 100% effort into HIM. You said you really like your current boyfriend so stay with him and if it doesn’t work out you can always date your ex again!

xoxo

Katie

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Dear Katie,

There is this boy named Austin and he is so sweet and we have hugged before but his bff hates me and I like Austin and I don’t know if he likes me, what should I do??

~ Morgan, 13

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Dear Morgan,

Well if you like Austin you should try to get along with his bff. If his best friend doesn’t like you, he may try to talk Austin into not liking you. So be nice to his bff and try to get on his good side. So be sweet and nice when you are around him…have you ever heard of the saying “kill him with kindness” ? Well it really does work! When you are being really nice (in a sincere way) it’s really hard for anyone to stay mad at you or not like you.

But overall, if you really like this guy and still can’t win his friend over, I guess it doesn’t really matter cause it’s Austin that you wanna date, not his friend! Just let Austin see that you are making an effort to get along with his friend, and will only make you look like a better person.

xoxo

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“Hi, My parents fight alot at home. When I was 11 I got really sick and the doctors said that I had a severe case of anxiety about my parents. (honestly, I don’t even remember worrying about it back then, but that’s beside the point). Anyway, they stopped for a while, but now they’re back at fighting.

They always insist that they won’t break-up, but the fights are so bad sometimes that I wonder wether or not the only reason they haven’t broken up is because they’re worried about something happening to me like when I was 11.

What do you think? What should I do?”

~ Samantha, 14

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“Dear Samantha,

I can totally relate to this question. My parents were the same way! They fought all the time but always told me they would never get divorced. I was almost kinda hoping they would get divorced just so they would stop fighting! Anyways, it is hard having to listen to them fight, I know. But the hardest thing for you to do is going to be realizing that there is noting you personally can do to stop them from actually fighting.

It is your parents relationship between each other and only they have control over their actions. I remember when I was 15, my sister and I finally sat my parents down and talked to them about their fighting and set bondaries with them. The bondaries were that they could not fight around us or any where that we could hear them. And that when they were mad at each other they couldn’t talk badly about each other. So maybe you can sit down with them and let them know that you are worried about them fighting. Just open up the doors to communication between you and your parents and set some boundaries so that you don’t have to be around the fighting anymore.

So I realize that this does not solve the problem of your parents fighting, I don’t think that is within your control and that you can actually make them stop. If they are going to fight, they’re going to fight. But at least if you set boundaries and make them aware of how their fighting effects you…then at least you will not have to listen to it or be around it.

Unfortunatly we can not control other people’s actions, so your parents may or may not respect these bondaries. All you can do is try.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to realize that you are not causing any of this and that their problems are separate from you. They want the best for you, they are just caught up in their own drama right now.”

xoxo

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Hi Katie, I have a problem with this guy. His name’s mike and I know him pretty well, we were sort of aquaintences/friends.

He kept holding doors and helping me up and stuff, and I though that was nice, but then on a bus ride home from a marching band thing (it’s required) he kept trying to hold my hand and hug me and stuff. I didn’t want to be rude, but it felt really weird.

I’ve been avoiding him for a week but it always feels really weird to see him. Am I being a jerk? What should I say to him, or should I just let our “friendship” thing continue to fade?

~ Samantha, 14

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Dear Samantha,

This is a great question! I know exactly the situation you are in…you think of him just as a friend and he likes you and thinks he has a chance of more than just friends. You are not being a jerk for avoiding him, but since you both go to school together you probably can’t avoid him forever…so here is what you do.

The best thing to do in this kind of situation is to let him down easy and don’t make it any more awkward than it has to be. For instance, in midst conversation he tries to grab your hand pull away but then in a super friendly tone say “hey silly! whatcha doin?! hehehe! I thought we were just friends?” You can say “Hey were friends, right? Can I get your advice on a guy I like?”

Eventually he will get the hint, and if he still doesn’t then it is ok for you to be straight forward and say you don’t have the same feelings. He may not realize that you don’t like him back…guys very often mistake a girl just being friendly as her liking him. So when dealing with him, there is no need to get nasty with the guy, you can’t blame him for tryin! Just let him down the way you would want someone to let you down if you were in his shoes.

xoxo

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Okay, so this boy is my ex and we talk all the time. He says he likes me and I sure do like him too. But he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now.

I dont know what to do. Should I wait for him to be ready? Or should i just move on? What should i do?

~ Maddy, 14

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Dear Maddy,

My motto is this:

Ex’s are Ex’s for a REASON!

So there is probably a reason he is your ex-boyfriend and not your current boyfriend.

If he’s not ready now, he may never be ready. So why waste your time waiting for him, that time may never come. Its ok to be friends with him but don’t invest anymore of your romantic feelings in him.

Move on to a fresh relationship with a guy who has mutually feelings for you! You will have a much more enjoyable experience rather than trying to figure this guy out or make him be your boyfriend again.

Good Luck Babe!

xoxo

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Hey, I saw your video and I was just wondering, there is this boy who like me and I think he likes me so I want to ask him out but there are so many reasons not to ask him out.

Like, he hangs around with geeky boys, my friends think he’s ugly, he’s super shy and he’s shorter than me.

I realy don’t know what to do will you make a video on it please? Thank you ~Abby

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Dear Abby,

Sounds like you really like this guy for who he is. Think about it this way…you are the one dating him, not your friends. So if I were you, I would just not tell my friends I was dating him so that I didn’t have to listen to all their negative comments about why I shouldn’t be dating him. If there is no way to avoid your friends knowing that you are going out with him, then just tell them about all the good things that you like about him so that maybe they will see the positive side of him. If you are afraid they will tease you more for liking him, then maybe just hang out with him after school in the beginning and see if you really do like him. That way, if you do end up liking him a lot you can just tell your friends that you are with him.

Who you go out with is your business, don’t let your friends taste in guys effect who you do or don’t date. If there is still something about this guy you like, regardless of all the things you mentioned that weren’t great about him, then there must be something that is still intriguing you about this guy. So I think it would definitely be worth it to see where it goes!

xoxo

Okay, I just began 6th grade like 12 weeks ago. Everything has changed! It’s totally different! So I have a question about these two guys that I like. Okay, one guy’s name is Jordan. He’s really cute and super sweet and he’s also like my best friend. Well I’ve been out with him a few times and I was the one always breaking up with him.

Well Jordan has a friend named Alex. Alex is on the same travel team as Jordan. The afternoon at school before the dance, I broke up with Jordan because I knew that his friend Alex liked me and I really liked him too. Alex told me that he did but he said it was okay if I didn’t like him back because I was going out with Jordan. So that’s why I broke up with him.

But I rather just have broken up with Jordan than cheating on him because I would NEVER do that! So when I got to the dance with my friends, I saw Alex and Jordan fighting. They were like cussing each other out and all this mess. But they were not “physically” fighting. Anyway, I told Jordan that I was sorry but it’s really not worth fighting for. Well a few minutes before it was over, Alex asked me out. And I said yes. I felt kind of stupid when I said yes because I really didn’t know him that well because it was at the beginning of the school year.

Well we never really talked to each other. A few times he would call me on the phone and I would have NOTHING to say. It was so embarrassing! I had to make up something every time I called just so I could get off the phone because it was just so awkward! Well even though I broke up with Jordan, he’s still my best friend. So I called him for advice because he knew Alex more than I did at the time. Well then I’ve just been talking to Jordan on the phone a lot for advice but I never seemed to have the courage enough to call him back and have a conversation with him.

Well now, it’s been 9 weeks and Alex broke up with me about a month ago because he thought that I was cheating on him with Jordan- since I was on the phone with him so much. So, I really still like Alex. ALOT. Yesterday, Jordan came over with a bunch of friends and me to go trick-or-treating with us. And every single time I’m with Alex or Jordan alone, I seem to like them more and more. I can’t help but to flirt with both of them.

So now, I am going out with Jordan again. I know what you are thinking; she has too many of the same boyfriends! I know, I know. But I don’t know why I keep saying yes to Jordan when I still have a lot of feelings left for Alex. A few weeks ago, Alex told me that he still liked me and I told him that I still liked him too. (That is not when I’m going out w/ Jordan.) Well, ever since that- me and Alex keep flirting and everybody says that he is going to ask me out- even Jordan.

So now that I’m going out with Jordan, and me and Alex still have feeling for each other, what do I do? Do I break up with Jordan? Do I tell both of them how I feel?

I NEED YOUR ADVICE. QUICKLY. PLEASE HELP ME.” ~ Katlin

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Dear Katlin,

When it comes to boys one thing I have come to find is that no good comes from dating boys who are friends with each other. When you date guys who are friends….it almost always turns into drama. Especially if you date them back to back! You know how girls talk to each other…guys are just as bad and they gossip about girls all the time!
The only time dating guys who are friends is not so tricky is when a lot of time has gone by and feelings have faded between you and your ex.

It is not fair to either one of them to keep changing your mind and switching back and forth. You have already left Jordan once for Alex…..if you do it again you may destroy your friendship with Jordan for good. So if you want to break up with Jordan, do it because you don’t want to be with him anymore…not because you want to be with Alex instead. If after a couple of months go by and you still have feelings for Alex then it might be ok to start dating him. So don’t break up with a guy for another guy….

If you cherish Jordan’s friendship and feelings, you wont break up with him just cause you like Alex again.
Think of how you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed and Jordan liked your friend…How would you feel if he broke up with you twice to date your friend? It wouldn’t feel so good would it? You would probably lose all trust and respect for him.

Remember that these guys have feelings too and to take their feelings into consideration before you keep dumping them for each other. So either give Jordan a chance, or if you break up with him, wait a while before you start dating Alex again. Give Jordan and yourself time to get over the breakup before you get back with Alex.

xoxo

Ok well I have trouble with my makeup. There is always something wrong =( Like if I put mascara on it looks like to much, but I do have long eyelashes.

Also I have brown eyes and don’t know what eyeshadow to wear. Should I wear my eyeshadow by what color I’m wearing that day or my skin tone???

Finally my lip color what color should I wear, I have thin, medium lips. Thank you!!! Carley, 13

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Dear Carley,

I have found the best beauty trick out there is when you stick to natural colors and use makeup to enhance your own colors. This ALWAYS turns out looking the best and most stunning. I have brown eyes too, and long eyelashes. I have found what works for me is to use a sheer foundation all over my face and eyelids as a base.

Then curl my eyelashes…it really helps open up your eyes and makes mascara look good…just make sure to only apply one coat. Also, one reason why your mascara might look to thick is because it may be drying out….you should probably replace it with a fresh mascara that will go on smoother. My favorite mascara is Maybelline intense XXL mascara…it goes on smooth and keeps my lashes curled all day!

Then on my eyelids, I keep it very neutral and with a cream color base and light coral color shade in the corners…but I apply it very subtle. It goes with everything I wear. The eye shadow is from Dior. Sometimes too much eye shadow or eye shadow that is too dark can make your eyes look sunk in.

As for your lips find a shinny clear gloss that will accentuate your natural color of your lips. I love CoverGirl WetSlicks in clear radiance! Plus it is only a few dollars! My lips are medium to small too and the clear gloss really plumps them up while my natural color compliments my facial colors the best. Its funny how nature usually knows what looks best on us!

You can always write back or send me a picture if you have any more detailed questions.

xoxo

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