“How can I feel pretty when I’m just so ugly?

I go to an all girl’s school and everybody there is skinny,athletic tall and really pretty.And I’m the complete opposite.

I’m short and ugly and flabby and no matter how hard i try i can’t lose weight.Everyone there has had multiple boyfriends and I haven’t even talked to a guy since primary school.if i had boobs it wouldn’t be as bad but everyone assumes that small boobs mean athletic body,except in my case. Can you Help? Thanks!

Emily, 13

Dear Emily,

Here is the thing, at your age, you think that the way you look now is the way you are going to look like forever, but that is so NOT true! I look much prettier now than when I was your age! Some girls talk longer to develop and find their best look. Looking back now at some of the girls I grew up with it is funny to see how they turned out now that we are in our twenties. Many of the girls who were skinny and pretty are now HUGE, and many of the girls that were a little chunky have now lost weight and look amazing!

Now is not the time for you to be focusing on guys anyway. You are in an all girls school so use your time to focus on other things that you are good at and have fun! I think you need some sort of theme or hobby in your life. Something that makes you feel good when you do it. Like a sport, or art, or dance, or music, or even find your own unique style! This will really help you develop a confidence in yourself and your abilities that aren’t based solely on your looks (which don’t last anyways)
Over time, as you start eating better and exercising a little and as time goes by, by the time you are in your twenties you will have lost weight the healthy way and feel great about your looks and your inner self.

So try not to look at your situation like your doomed because over time as you work on you positive attitude and inner confidence (based on things other than your looks) everyone gets old and loses their looks anyway, so why not develop your confidence based on something that will last forever!? So find something you are really good at and put your energy into that rather than worrying about your looks. If you keep comparing yourself to other girls, you will never feel good enough, because there will always be a girl out there that is a little better looking.

Hey, I’m 12 and my parents hate it when I wear makeup but I never feel pretty without it and when I don’t have it on I feel self concsious.

I only wear compact powder and a little bit of natural coloured blush none of the colours are retro or anything their all natural and I wear the odd mascara even tho my folks don’t think I should I still do. And I feel bad but I cant help it do u think its ok or should I low down on the makeup I am in year 7 by the way so I am in high school if that makes a difference.

Jess, 12

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Dear Jess,

Your parents will ALWAYS think you are perfectly beautiful without any makeup and that you don’t need it. Mine are the same way! However, I can relate to what your saying, I feel much better about my looks when I have my makeup on than when I’m not wearing any. I didn’t start wearing makeup until I was 14, but I know girls are starting to wear it younger now at 12 and 13. It sounds like your makeup you are currently wearing is pretty natural and not overdone, which is great. You are on the right track. Your parents probably feel that you are too young to wear any, but they will have to accept the fact one day, as you grow up you are going to start wearing it at some point.

If your parents are really forbidding it and you will get in trouble for wearing it, then by all means DON’T wear it, I don’t want you to get into trouble. But, if they are somewhat flexible and just disapprove rather than forbid it…maybe you can ask your mom if you could get a makeup lesson to learn how to do your makeup the right way to enhance your looks rather than look like you are wearing makeup. Maybe your parents would be more open to something like this that way they know if you wear makeup it will look good. A lot of beauty salons offer this type of service.

You can also tell them that you know that they think your beautiful without it, but you really like how you look with it and that it makes you feel more confident with your looks. Be honest with them about your feeling insecure without it. If your mom wears makeup then she will be able to relate to what you are saying. Most women that wear makeup feel the EXACT same way as you do, and they feel prettier with makeup than without makeup. So your mom may understand best on how you feel and be able to see your point of view better if you talk to her openly about it.

Hope this helped! Good luck sweetie=)

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Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four years now and I just started noticing that he likes blondes, which upsets me because I have black hair. All the celebrities that he notices and points out are blonde and people who he used to have crushes on in the past are blonde.

My self-esteem and self-confidence have disappeared because having black hair is something I can’t change. He won’t admit that he likes blondes but how can I gain my self-esteem back if all the girls he likes are blonde and none of them look like me?

Nancy, 19

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Dear Nancy,

People often think they have a “type” but then they meet someone completely different and find that they like that type better than the type they once thought they liked! I always dated blonde hair, blue eyed, all-American looking guys. But then I met a guy that was ethnic looking with black hair and I ended up falling for him! I didn’t think he was my type at first but I ended up liking him MORE than any of the blonde guys I dated in the past.

Just because he admires blonde hair on celebrities, doesn’t mean that it is the only quality in a girlfriend that he wants. You may have ALL of the other qualities he is looking for…such as your heart, personality and sense of humor! Which in my opinion is WAY more important than a person’s hair color!

So before you get the urge to turn blonde(lol) take a look at how he treats you and the other qualities that he loves about you. That will give you a much better view of the whole picture and you will see all the other positive qualities you bring to the table in your relationship.

If your boyfriend is good to you and treats you with love, respect and admiration than try to focus on those aspects of the relationship. He probably doesn’t wanna say that his “type” was blonds in the past because that would obviously hurt your feelings since you have black hair…and he doesn’t want to make you feel bad.

So try to recognize that he does see beauty in you…if not he wouldn’t have been with you for four years now!

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