“Hey, My boyfriend is 18 and my mum and sister found out after I fell asleep and left my msn on and he was talking to me- btw he wasn’t saying anything inappropriate, but it was obvious he’s my boyfriend as we have eachothe in our names and all that lol. At the time he thought I was 16 but my mum and sister spoke to him and told him I was 14 and to leave me alone and that. My mum went crazy at me, which btw I kinda expected and my sister sat down and had a chat with me (she thinks she knows everything about men) and told me all he wanted was sex etc. They told me to break up with him and everything so I lied and told them I would that night. Everything was ok for a few weeks and I secretly carried on talking to him on the phone and that.

Yesterday my mum went crazy at me again saying he knew I was still with him and that she was going to report us to the police- which I don’t understand as we do not have sex, because we’ve decided to wait til I’m legal, if I didn’t finish it with him that day, again I said I would, but I am in love with him, deeply and truly, I am very mature for my age and I don’t know what to do anymore. I can not break up with him, I really am in love with him and please don’t make judgements and tell me to break up with him or anything because I really can’t do that. I thought I could tell my sister anything but I really don’t know how to begin to tell her that I really do love him and I don’t care what they say, I’m not breaking up with him. please help girls”

xoxo Victoria, 14

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Dear Victoria,

This is definitely a tricky situation. If you continue to see this guy you are going against your mother’s wishes, but you really like this guy and don’t want to end it. So here is my advice. When I was 14, there was these two 18 year old guys that my friend and I met. We really liked them and thought it was sooo cool how they had cars and we could go places with them. It made me feel mature when I was with them. But looking back now….I see that they did not have a good intent for me or my friend. They were not interested in having a loving relationship, they just wanted to have sex!

So, your mother does make a good point when she questions his intent for you. She could be right that he is just interested in sex, not a relationship. PLUS you say you lied to this boy about your age…so even you knew that you were too young for him. You should ask yourself if you had told him you were 14 from the start, would he have wanted to date you?!

I think at this point, you should move on, this situation with this guy is already bringing out a dishonest side of you….not only have you lied to your mom about him, but you’ve lied to the guy about your age. So my suggestion would be to drop this guy (it will be really hard I know) but it will save you a lot of heart ache in the future.

xoxo

Katie

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Dear Katie,

There is this boy named Austin and he is so sweet and we have hugged before but his bff hates me and I like Austin and I don’t know if he likes me, what should I do??

~ Morgan, 13

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Dear Morgan,

Well if you like Austin you should try to get along with his bff. If his best friend doesn’t like you, he may try to talk Austin into not liking you. So be nice to his bff and try to get on his good side. So be sweet and nice when you are around him…have you ever heard of the saying “kill him with kindness” ? Well it really does work! When you are being really nice (in a sincere way) it’s really hard for anyone to stay mad at you or not like you.

But overall, if you really like this guy and still can’t win his friend over, I guess it doesn’t really matter cause it’s Austin that you wanna date, not his friend! Just let Austin see that you are making an effort to get along with his friend, and will only make you look like a better person.

xoxo

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“There’s this boy I like at my school and he just broke up with my friend, but I think my friend only went out with him because she knew I liked him.

I really like this boy and I want to ask him out. But I dont know how to. We dont even talk so that’s even worse. How should I go about asking him out?”

~ Aminah, 16

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Dear Aminah,

Since your friend just broke up with this guy it is probably not the best time to be asking him out. You don’t know for sure if she went out with him just because you liked him or not… it is very possible that you both just liked the same guy. So be a good friend to her and be there for her after her break up. If you just broke up with a guy, would you want your friend to ask him out right away?

So let some time go by and if you are still friends with this girl ask her if she would be ok with you going out with him. I’m not saying you need her permission, but if she is a good friend of yours you should take her feelings into consideration and make sure that she is over him before you ask him out. Otherwise you may end up losing a good friend.”

xoxo

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Hi Katie ~

I have been feeling really bad about myself lately, I feel like I am not pretty enough. My friends and parents tell me its not true, and that I am pretty.

But no matter how many times the reassure me I still feel ugly. What can I do to boost my self confidence?

Alyssa, 13

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Dear Alyssa,

You say that you have not been feeling good about yourself LATELY. This gives me a clue that you felt pretty before, and just recently have not been feeling so hot. Your family and friends are still seeing the same beautiful you as you used to see…but now for some reason your self confidence has dropped.

You may want to look at what has been going on in your life recently. Has something traumatic happened? Or is there something that you have done that is bothering you or that you feel guilty about? These are some questions to ask yourself.

I can relate, I know for myself that if I do something that goes against my conscience, I will feel guilty and not feel as good about myself.

Also, I see that you are 13, and I remember when I was 13 I was going through tons of physical changes. So maybe these changes are making you feel unpretty. Or maybe you are comparing yourself to other girls and seeing in them what you wish you could be. But rest assure…these changes are for the good, you will only become more beautiful as you grow into your teen years. And try not to compare yourself to other girls…there will always be someone more beautiful, or rich, or intelligent…so why beat ourselves up over it?!

There are so many ways that you can increase your self confidence, and by confronting the thoughts and actions that are bringing your self esteem down is one way. And telling yourself Always remember to remind yourself of your positive qualities that make you beautiful…embrace these and you will exude with confidence =)

Write back if you have any other questions!

xoxo

Girl to Girl Talk

I was wondering if love is more of a decision or something that can’t be helped?

~ Jade, 15

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Dear Jade,

Who you choose to love is ultimatly your decision…not something that you can’t help. I think you can choose who you want to give love to. I don’t think it is completely out of your control.

You may feel love towards many people, sometimes they are people who are bad influences in your life, but you do not have to pursue those feelings and have a relationship with them. It is your choice if you want to put time and energy into a relationship and give love to a person.

And it is ok to acknowledge that you have deep feelings for those people that may not be good for you, but ultimately it would not be good for you to be with them. The best person to give love to is someone who appreciates it and sees the beauty of your love.

Love can happen whether we want it to or not, but you can decide if you want to pursue that love or not. If you believe it is out of your control, you may end up loving someone who doesn’t deserve your love. So choose wisely my dear!

xoxo

Girl to Girl Talk

Hi Katie,

There is a boy at my school and I really like him, but I’m not sure that he likes back. My friends say that he talks about me….but then I asked him and he told me that he doesn’t like me.    What should I do to get him to like me?

~ Jessica

Dear Jessica,

I think the best thing for you is to move on from this guy….there is nothing more you can do, no one can make someone fall in love with them. So don’t take it too personally, I’m sure there are tons of guys that you do not like romantically, but you like them as friends. This is not a bad thing; it just means there is no spark between you two that he can feel.

So instead of wasting your time with this guy who is not that into you, keep your eyes open for the guy who does. He may be closer than you think….you may just not have noticed him because you were too caught up on this other guy.

Life’s too short to be spending your energy on someone who does not appreciate it…find someone who does appreciate you =)

Good Luck Sweetie!

xoxo

Girl to Girl Talk

Hi! I just got to know this guy in my band class like two weeks ago. I randomly approached him and said, “I don’t know you, but hi!”

He smiled at me and gave me his name. Now ever since then when band class comes around we are always talking to each other. But now I just want to know what some signs are that he likes me and how can I give him signs that I like him?

~ JoJo, 15

Dear JoJo,

Continue to initiate conversations with him and be friendly towards him and fun to hang out with. You should see if he wants to practice outside of band class with you. It would be a good excuse for you to do something outside of school together one on one and see if sparks fly! Also, see if you have any other common interests.

To make sure you are sending signs that you do like him and so he doesn’t think you just want to be friends, here are a couple of things you can do… Compliment him, like tell him you like his outfit, or that he is a wonderful musician, or tell him he has a cute laugh….something that is not too deep, but is still flirtatious and shows that you are into him.

Another thing you can do is to casually touch his arm or hand when you are talking to him. Body language plays a huge role in communicating your interests….you don’t want to be too touchy, but a subtle touch here or there are clear signs that you are into him.

You will see in time if he reciprocates the same effort and feelings if he starts to return the flirtations with you and invite you to hang out with him.

xoxo

Girl to Girl Talk

Hi Katie,

So. Everyone goes to the schools high school football game, and I was planning on going.   And I know my boyfriend will be there… and I am not sure… like.

I really want to hold hands with him. But.. it feels really awkward for me to just grab his hand. Like.. we have held hands two other times before. But he always grabbed my hand. AHH! HELP PLEASE!
Thanks, Amanda.

P.S. Please answer this as soon as possible. Because the game is tomorrow. (Friday)

Hi Amanda!

So, you are meeting boyfriend at the game and wanna hold hands with him but you say it feels awkward to make the first move. I think it feels awkward for you to be the one to grab his hand because maybe you are not used to being the one to initiate anything.

I can totally relate! Us girls are so used to the guys initiating everything and being the one to always make the first move, that it feels weird when we are the ones to do it. When in all reality guys love when girls initiate stuff or make the first move…it shows that the girl is confidant and that she is into the guy, which are two of the most attractive qualities a girl can have.

So don’t be shy…if you feel the timing is right…like you guys are walking side by side go ahead, reach out grab his hand! He will definitely be glad you did!

Only one word of caution though….if he is hanging in a group of all his guy friends and football players….it may not be the right time to hold hands….don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to, its just that many guys don’t like a lot public affection…especially around all their guy friends. So wait until you guys are walking together and all his attention is on you, and make your move =)

Have fun tonight!

Katie

Girl to Girl Talk

Dear Katie,

My boyfriend’s birthday is coming up and i am not sure what to get him. But i really want to get him something good that he will like since he bought me really ADORABLE earrings about 4 months ago. And it wasnt even for a reason which i dont get.

He was at the mall with his 2 friends and I asked him why he bought me them and his answer was… because I was thinking about you at the mall and I really wanted to get you something and because i love you. and i thought that was really sweet of him.

Why do YOU think he bought me earrings for NO REASON AT ALL? And we do you think I should get him for his birthday. I am totally stumped. I was just thinking of a girftcard to his favorite store.. but i want to get him something more creative.

Please help.

xoxo Madison

Hi Madison,

I think the best thing is to make it memorable. So it’s more about the memory than the gift. I’m sure your boyfriend is probably not expecting you to go out and buy him an extravagant gift…you are in 7th grade so you obviously don’t have a job where you can be spending all kinds of money on him.

So find a cute/funny card to give him and do something fun with him….create a whole day where you guys can do all of his favorite activities…Maybe if he is into a sport like softball you guys can go to a park and play catch together or practice hitting some balls.

Another idea is that you can also make a cute coupon book out of construction paper, glitter, and colored pens (get creative) with stuff written on them like “One Hug!” “15 Minute Massage” “One Movie Date” etc. Just remember its more about making it a fun day that he will remember so him to a special place and make it more about the day than the gift!

And about the earrings he bought you….that was REALLY sweet of him! That is so cute how he was with his friends at the mall and saw them and thought of you so he bought them! Sounds like he got them for you because he likes you a lot…and the fact that he got them “just because” shows that he is a thoughtful kinda guy…which is GREAT!

Katie

Girl to Girl Talk

A friend is being a “not so good friend” she likes someone that I hate soooooo much and the person I hate is a Tom boy… lol

Please help what should I do with my friend cuz I really like her but i feel invisable to her…this is cuz the girl i hate is steeling her from me but I knew her since first grade, so I am not ready to lose her as a friend.        Vallarie

Dear Vallarie,

The best thing you can do if you want to still keep this friend is to continue to be a good friend to her. One way you can do this is by maybe try and see what your friend sees in this other girl. Maybe if you got to know her you would like her too.

But what ever you do don’t get angry at your friend, if she sees your negative attitude and jealous she will most likely be drawn away from you.

So continue to be a positive and fun friend to be around and there will be no reason why she will not continue to be your friend.

Good Luck!

Katie

Girl to Girl Talk

Dear Girl to Girl Talk,

I need to know because I feel like I’m completely on my own and I’ve lost everything that was ever important to me. I’m not suicidal just so you know. All I ever want is to be alone and I shut everyone out. I’m failing most of my subjects and I can’t bring myself to actually bother anymore.

I’ve never had a boyfriend and I feel lonely. I’m not even ugly, it’s not fair. I’ve been picked on and bullied by my friends for no reason ever since I can remember and there’s nothing I can do about it.

If I don’t have them, I feel like I don’t have anyone.

My parents are divorced and I hate my dad for reasons I won’t go into. Please give me some advice. I’ve never told anyone this before as there isn’t anyone I know that I can trust. Please don’t tell me to call childline or anything like that.

I’ve tried to be strong and put on a brave face but I can’t do it anymore. I’m 14, nearly 15 and I don’t want to grow up not letting anyone in and hating everything and everyone.

~ Savannah
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Dear Savannah

A. I think that it starts with loving yourself and finding the good qualities that you have and focusing on them.

Someone once told me that you will only allow others to treat you as bad as you treat yourself. Which is so true!

If you begin treating yourself with love and kindness than that is all you will expect from others, and anything less you will not and should not tolerate.

My advice would be to find a hobby or sport that you really love and you will meet new people who have similar interests and who treat you better than the friends you have now who bully you.

Hope it gets better for you =)

Much Luv,

xoxo